Thailand

Day 1 – Bangkok – February 16

We landed in Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi Airport at 5:30 pm.  Immigration was smooth and we took a short metro ride 15 minutes to our Airbnb. We asked the host her recommendations for dinner and she said we should just use the car service Grab (like Uber eats) to get something. We didn’t need much convincing to be lazy and for $3 (yes, that’s right) we ordered two entrees and had it delivered to our door. We got some their gravy with pork and Ryan got Thai basil pork stir-fry. We lounged the rest of the night waiting for our friend Carrie to arrive.

Carrie’s flight touched down at 11:30 pm and she was at the Airbnb by 12:30. The cab didn’t have enough change to break 1000 baht ($30), so we rode across the street to a McDonald’s buying French fries and waters to get some change.  We stayed up chatting for about an hour, but she was pretty exhausted from her 24+ hours of travel, so the catching up had to be called short.

Day 2 – Chiang Mai – February 17

We hit up the apartment gym in the morning. It was nowhere near as nice as our Malaysian hotel gyms.  With only four dumbbells, one yoga mat, and two half broken treadmills, it really was a step down, but we made do.  After we jumped back on the tram to the airport and had a quick 1-hour flight to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. We met with our Airbnb host and headed towards downtown for lunch.  She was a wonderful host who had been periodically checking up on us prior to our arrival, even going so far as to wish us a happy New Year.  We did a little research and found a place called It’s Good Kitchen that specializes in northern Thai dishes. We got the Khao Soi soup, Pad Si Ew, and Panang curry. The food was incredible and we got to drink Chang, a local Thai beer.

We next crossed the street to our first temple Wat Phra Singh or the Gold Temple. Unfortunately, the main temple was covered in scaffolding and under renovation during our visit, but we paid our 40-baht entrance fee (or $1.28 each) and walked around the grounds and smaller temples.  It seems to be our lot in this trip that all the sites we want to visit are under construction, but we’re not complaining.  It’s called the Gold Temple because of the giant golden pagoda in the middle of the grounds. Construction here began in 1345 and it has a long and complex history. Some of the temples have wax statues of monks in them and they are so realistic we were worried we were disturbing a prayer time. There were also several Buddhist phrases and philosophies written on plaques and hung around trees in the gardens.

We continued walking around the old town and found a smaller temple area called Wat Phantao that had colorful flags and streamers hanging from the trees and wires.  It’s really idyllic and interesting, but we feel like we’re missing some of the significance of these sites since we don’t really know much about Buddhism.  We need to do some research about so we can fully appreciate the things we are seeing in these temples.  There are lots of signs asking people to not use Buddhas as decorations in their homes as they view it as disrespectful. Similarly, we learned you should never point your feet at a Buddha statue and they should all be kept above the waist.

After the temples closed, we grabbed a Grab back to our neighborhood and headed to a hip, little food market and bar area.  We ordered some Chang and Leo beers while Ryan ate Hainanese style chicken rice, a type of poached chicken with spicy rice from southern China.  He can already tell this is going to be a wonderland for his palate, he’s so excited to try all the Thai food and he’s not afraid of the spice. After downing a few beers and chatting, we decided to keep a mellow pace and walked the five minutes back to our Airbnb to watch Zombieland 2.

Day 3 – Chiang Mai – February 18

Elizabeth woke up around 6:30 with the sunrise and set out for a short 2.5-mile run in the neighborhoods near the Airbnb. It was cool to see all the street vendors setting up for breakfast, the scattered monks in orange robes walking around barefoot collecting offerings of food, and people sweeping dead leaves with straw brooms. After the rest of the house woke up, it was time for breakfast, so we walked to a café called Overstand Coffee Shop about 10 minutes from our house. We were their first customers of the day and enjoyed some coffee and tea as they finished setting up. Breakfast was delightful. We started with toast topped with different vegetable, egg, and meat selections, then finished with some of the best fruit and granola ever.

We met our driver from the airport, Mr. Poomchai, out in front of the house and began our hour-long journey north to the sprawling Wat Ban Dem Temple complex.  Our host’s English is not very good, but he somehow got his hands on a great mix of American pop cover songs, so we spend most of the ride chatting amongst ourselves and listening to music.  Ryan forgot to bring proper temple wear, in his orange tank top, but luckily there was a small market shop and we got him a white tunic-like shirt – very handsome.  We must have been some of their first customers, because we had to wake up the cashier to check out.  This temple was huge and brighter than the other ones we’d seen in the city. We began exploring the multi temple complex, and luckily didn’t have to battle many other tourists.

There are over 12 different buildings, or pagodas, here for the 12 zodiac signs. The colors were incredible and they had towering ceramic, mosaic, and wooden statues guarding the entrances to the structures. Some of the most impressive were the large colorful dragons that would wrap around entire buildings. To enter a temple, it is respectful to take your shoes off.  We’d pop off our flip flops at an entrance and often have the entire indoors to ourselves.

In one of the larger temples, we found a Buddha lying on his side. This posture represents Buddha before he enters nirvana. There is so much Buddhist scripture and symbology that we are ignorant of, and unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of signage to explain what we’re looking at.  Thinking back, I’d wager we take for granted our knowledge of Christian/Western history to explain the various busts, artworks, and stained-glass windows we viewed while visiting the Vatican and other churches.  After exploring, we wandered over to the monks living quarters side and watched them take down decorations from some celebration, we are guessing Chinese New Year, and they were sorting the various financial donations people had made by putting dollars on flags and into different art pieces.

Finished with this temple, we found our driver and headed about 30 minutes into the forest. There are over 40,000 temples in Thailand and we must have passed at least 5 just driving from sight to sight. Our next activity was traversing the Bua Tong Waterfalls, also known as the Sticky Waterfalls. We were really lucky, in that the park was basically empty and we enjoyed the waterfalls virtually alone. The waterfalls consist of limestone and mineral deposits that create enough friction to walk up and down the cascades. We walked down enjoying the cool water, quickly learning that brown areas were sticky whereas green areas were slick and covered in algae.

There are five different levels of falls. Some areas, which are a little steeper, have ropes you can use to pull yourself up. We spent an hour or so playing on the falls and climbing on surprisingly sticky surfaces. We made the final climb to the top and no one took a tumble down the falls.

There is a small hike to a spring, what we thought was a hot spring, in the middle of the woods. Here they uncovered a beautiful natural pond which they built a small temple and picnic area around. Unfortunately, you weren’t allowed to swim in the spring, so we didn’t spend too much time here. We had about an hour and a half ride back to Chiang Mai and we were starting to feel hungry, so we piled back into our taxi and enjoyed all the temples and forests along the way.

After showering and dropping off our stuff we walked across the street to a highly rated chicken restaurant called Cherng Doi. The girls got chicken with sticky rice while Ryan tried the pork. The chicken was pretty good, and cheap, but the ladies didn’t think it was worth all the hype. Next, we grabbed a Grab and drove back towards downtown.

Our main stop was the Wat Chedi Luang, known informally as ‘the old temple’. The temple is from the 14th century and sits on a brick hill.  It is sandwiched between a newer temple in front of it and smaller temples behind. It was really cool to see an older temple and we walked all along the grounds stopping in the various pagodas. We enjoyed seeing the various monks in their orange robes and there was even a section where you could have a conversation with a monk.  Most of the interiors of the temples have wax statues of famous monks in sitting positions.  At first glance we thought they were real monks in meditation.

We walked down to a market and saw all the various street foods, but we weren’t hungry yet, so we popped into a place popular with the locals called the Garden and drank some Changs. People here put ice in their beer, presumably because the refrigerators aren’t cold enough, if they aren’t drinking what looks like a heavily watered-down whisky.  We eventually found out that putting ice in your beer is a traditional way of keeping your beer cold because the fridges aren’t up to snuff and beer isn’t usually sold on tap.   Soccer was on the TV, so we sat and sipped and didn’t mind the ice in the beer.

We tried on another bar before heading back to our neighborhood, called Spade. We got some French fries since we were feeling peckish and drank even more Chang. Finally, we rode back to the night market by our house to get dinner and, of course, more Chang. We tried Pad Sei Ew, Khao Soi soup, and sticky rice with mango. Everything was fantastic and ridiculously cheap.

Day 4 – Chiang Mai – February 19

We woke up before seven so we could grab breakfast before our cab driver Mr. Poomchai picked us up again for our morning activities. We walked across the street to a coffee shop recommended to us by our host called Ristr8to, which is known for its award-winning coffee and barista art. After looking over a rather pretentious menu that breaks down all the elements of a $3 cup of coffee, we ordered. The designs in the foam were pretty cool; Carrie and Ryan even claimed they could see a dragon and a dog in theirs.

Next, we walked down the street to a local Thai breakfast spot. Carrie and Ryan ate Chinese doughnuts (basically a tube of funnel cake) and Ryan sat with the locals and ate a fried rice concoction with an egg. He reports it was fairly spicy, savory, and absolutely delicious.  He’s not sure what it was about this dish that distinguishes it from a lunch or dinner-time meal, and he’s not upset about it.  People were stopping by on their scooters to grab a bag of soup on their way to work. We popped into the 7-Eleven for water and some Doritos snacks. We had a 1.5-hour drive to the national park Doi Inthanon – home to the highest peak in Thailand. The drive was uneventful, but contained more covers of English songs.

Our first stop was a hike called Pha Dok Siew Nature Trail. There was some confusion with the process, compounded by our driver’s lack of English and us not knowing what was going on, but eventually we were paired with a mid-20’s woman from the Karen White Tribe who we were compelled to pay to guide us on a 2.5-hour hike.

The hike was immediately beautiful and the weather felt crisp, but not cold.  Not five-minutes into the hike, we stopped to swing on a natural swing from huge vines hanging in the trees before continuing down into the fields of the valley. The first field had a bunch of fruits and vegetables under white tarps where once opium fields grew.  Thirty to forty years ago, after opium was outlawed, the king cleared out the fields and gave the land to the tribes people to grow produce.

We walked back in the woods and found ourselves at the top of a 3-tiered waterfall. We continued walking down along the side to the bottom tiers, taking photos along the way. We even saw a small green snake in a tree that she said was poisonous. Elizabeth slid on one of the rocks and got her shoe soaking wet. Finally, we made it to the bottom of the waterfall and the guide said we could hop in to take a swim, despite the sign clearly stating otherwise (which she claimed was only there for during flooding season), so we took her up and jumped in the freezing cold water.

The next stop on the trail took us past strawberry fields and we were able to sample a cup of strawberries for 20 Baht or $0.64. These strawberries were far and away the tastiest strawberries we’d ever tried. Next, we walked into her village and passed coffee bushes. We were treated to a cup of coffee made fresh and learned a little more about the Karen culture. She told us we could tell she was married because she wore a long skirt. The whole trek was supposed to take us 2.5 hours but we were done in an hour and a half, even making several stops and going at a fairly slow pace; it was only about 2 miles of actual walking.

Our driver picked us up and we headed deeper into the park to get to the summit. The elevation at the top is 2565 meters above mean sea level or 8,415 feet. The summit “hike” is less than ¼ of a mile. We were allowed to hike this one alone so we proceeded to walk on a boarded path to the marker where there is a small shrine and information regarding the ecology, minor histories of the area, etc. We didn’t spend too much time, but you know we had to check out the highest peak in the area.

We asked our driver if we could do more hiking, he must thin we really like walking. We drove about five minutes down the mountain to the Kew Mae Pan Nature Trail. Before we began the hike, we were pretty famished and decided to get some local grub at some of the food stalls. The place was full of both tourists and locals and the food was amazing. Ryan and Carrie got meat and sticky rice while Elizabeth got pork dumplings and a sweet sticky bun. To finish it off we all shared a bowl of noodles that was ridiculously rich in flavor.

Maybe not the smartest decision before a ~2-mile hike. We picked up our local guide, Leang, you are required to get a local guide and they cost 200 baht or $6 per group. He was adorable and spoke very little to no English, but he taught us a couple Thai phrases, most notably ‘soi mah’ which means ‘very pretty’. We grabbed some bamboo walking sticks and followed him into the forest. This trail had a lot, seriously a lot of stairs, and the first half was in the trees. We passed a waterfall and saw a tree that had alleged bear claw marks in it before we walked out on the ridge. The views were a little hazy, but it was still beautiful to see the various lush hills.

We were following a trail that passed 15 informational markers and Carrie and Ryan had to read each one. The one on the ridge was about Gorals – which we think are goats, but we didn’t see any running around on the rocks. At the edge of the ridge we could see the royal pagodas, our next stop on the distant hill. Finally, we were back in the woods finishing our two-mile hike and our knees were tired of all the stairs. We thanked Laeng and again piled in the car to see the Great Holy Relics Pagoda Nabhapolbhumisiri and the King’s Pagoda.

These pagodas, which translate to “by the strength of the land and air” and “being the strength of the land and the grace of the air”, are dedicated to the previous king and queen. The king’s pagoda was built in 1987 to commemorate his 60th birthday while the queen’s was built in 1992 to commemorate her birthday. We were thankful they had escalators to take you up to their pagodas. We started with the queen’s. It’s a beautiful lavender color and the inside has stone carvings and a large Buddha statue. Behind the pagoda is a lovely garden full of snap dragons, mums, violets, and cabbage – just to name a few plants.  Luckily we had Carrie and Elizabeth with us to name all the plants.

Across the way we walked to the king’s pagoda which is a less interesting shade of plain brown. His garden is being renovated, but we walked along the outside and inside, a very similar setup to the queen’s. His pagoda had even better views of the hazy surrounding mountains.

Back in the car, we drove to the entrance of the park for our last stop the Wachirathan Waterfall, or rainbow waterfall. Its reported to be 80 meters in cumulative height and was the most impressive waterfall we’d seen that day. There is a parking lot right next to the falls so we were able to put on our flip flops and wander around the stairs taking in the crashing views. There were a ton of stray, but clearly well-fed, dogs in the area and what seemed like 50 adorable puppies. We walked all along the edge of the river and dipped our toes in the cold water. Eventually, exhausted, we piled back in the car and made the 1.5-hour drive back to our Airbnb.

After showering we decided to find some dinner. Not wanting to return to the same area, we wandered around our neighborhood for 15 minutes. We walked through a nice mall food court and a few restaurants before heading back and eating at a new place called Feel Café & Bar, just a few doors down. There was no one in there, but we decided to give the place a chance and they had buy one get one free happy hour cocktails. We sat outside, until the mosquitos got too bad, and watched the bartender make us our old fashion, mojito, and margarita. We shared fries and deep fried, minced pork balls called larb balls, before our noodle main courses. Afterwards, we walked across the street to the “dive bar” to drink Leo and Chang beers and play pool. After Ryan kicked the girls’ butts, we switched to cribbage, and Elizabeth per usual got a bunch of lucky cards.

Day 5 – Chiang Mai – February 20

We decided to eat breakfast at a restaurant called Smoothie Blues. It quickly became evident this was a Westerners hotspot, but we loved our smoothies and bagel/English muffin sandwiches. Our driver picked us up and we headed 30 minutes north of the city to Mae Rim Elephant Home. We’d been interested in going to visit an ethical elephant sanctuary but had been having trouble finding exactly what we were looking for.  A lot of them are over $100, 1.5 hours outside of the city, and are a full day commitment. We now know that riding elephants is dangerous for their spines and we didn’t want to support that sort of animal abuse towards these gentle giants.

Our driver told us about the Mae Rim sanctuary, a 2-hour, $40 experience and insisted they didn’t ride them. After a discussion, we agreed to try it out. Upon arrival he gave us bananas and told us to start feeding them.  This sanctuary has 4 female elephants who were very friendly and came right over to take the bananas out of our hands. They were tiny bananas, much smaller than you’d find in an American supermarket, and they forcefully, using their trunk finger, rooted around our hands then shoved them in their mouths. Their trunk was dripping with drool from their mouths.  After the first round of bananas we were given traditional Karen tribal clothes to wear, which were quickly covered in elephant drool.

The elephants were so sweet and let you pet their drunks and heads; they’re clearly used to people. We went into a small tent area to learn about the elephants and the home. Although the staff members never told us directly, it became evident that these animals used to be ridden and the sanctuary has had a change of heart. For instance, they had a big board of commands to learn in Thai including ‘back up’, ‘stop’, etc. They only taught us the names of the elephants and the commands for ‘open your mouth’ and ‘good’ once they took the food. You say “Bon Song” and they open their mouth, after you say “Dee Dee” and pat their head firmly to let them know they did good.

The first activity was washing the elephant. They brought over the matriarch and we took turns feeding her sugar cane while other people washed her feet and toes. We learned elephants only sleep 4 hours a day and spend the rest of their time eating because they eat 10% of their body weight each day. For a typical Asian female elephant that’s between 400 to 600 pounds of food.

After the washing, it was time for more feed and it was incredible to see them break the hard sugar cane in their mouth. The elephants were smart and greedy. They’d collect multiple sugar cane stalks from people before shoving them in their mouth. We got to put food directly in their mouths by holding it up high in the area and saying the commands.

After more feeding, we walked them through the woods towards the river. We were each given a bag of sugar cane and fed them more when we arrived. Next, the elephants went into the mud and we were told to hop in and rub them down. This was when we started to see some of the handlers pulling their ears to get them to do what they wanted and, unfortunately, we don’t think it was the best situation for these poor beasts. They are advertised as older females and they clearly had a past life as a trained elephant.

We scrubbed them down in mud and they shot mud out of their trunks at us. Ryan took his elephant pampering job very seriously and caught the eye of the main elephant man, Tony, who had him scrubbing heads and really getting in there.

After we were properly covered in mud, we went to the waist deep river and washed the elephants more and scrubbed the mud off their backs. We used coconut husks, which they call elephant shampoo, and they suds up and act like a luffa. Ryan thinks they actually put shampoo in there, because they were sure to tell us not to rinse the husks off in the water.  After they were cleaned, we lined up and got sprayed in the face by their trunk at close range. The elephant trunk can lift 700 pounds and you could sit on the front and they’d lift you in the air, clearly another circus trick learned before elephant activists defended them. Finally, we showered ourselves and ate the worst pad Thai Ryan has ever tried.  Overall it was really cool to see the elephants up close and get to wash and feed them. Two hours was enough time for the activity, and although they don’t seem to beat or ride their elephants, there is room for improvement in their treatment of the elephants.

We went home and showered again then set out for lunch. We walked about 15 minutes through the neighborhoods to get to a small local restaurant called Khao Soi Maesai. They are known for their Khao Soi soup, a traditional dish from northern Thailand. Carrie had tried it at a couple of the earlier restaurants and we were excited after her great reviews. The soup tasted like curry with pork, crispy noodles, and soft noodles. It was absolutely wonderful and just the right amount of spice for Elizabeth. We washed it down with a few Thai teas which were very sweet.

It was getting warm, so we headed over to the local mall called Maya to shop in the air conditioning. We wandered up the 6 floors window shopping, and of course buying some bubble tea, for an hour then ended at the rooftop area right as it opened. It was pretty warm up there in the sun, but we saw some nice views of the city even though Chiang Mai doesn’t have much of a skyline.

Next, we walked to another mall area across the street. A group of people in yellow shirts was setting up in the plaza for some sort of demonstration. Being the typical white people we are, we sat to observe. The people were members of the religious sect of Buddhism called Falun Dafa or Falun Gong. They gave us a little informational brochure to learn more about their religion. They then gave a speech in Thai and began a drum and cymbal dance and song. According to the brochure the Chinese government outlawed and began persecuting members of this religion in 1999 when the president thought the growing popularity could threaten his power. Falun Dafa was founded in 1992 in China and uses a mixture of exercises, meditation and “heart/mind nature” to improve mental and physical wellness. The brochure then sites David Kilgour from Canada and his investigation into the harvesting of organs of members of this religion while they are prisoners. They are selling the organs for a high profit and foreigners travel to get these organs when they are sick. It was pretty disturbing to read and hopefully the practice has been stopped.

After getting lost in the mall we went up to the rooftop bar called Parallel Universe of Lunar 2 on the Hidden Moon. We were obviously intrigued by the name and Ryan wanted to try some Thai craft beer. Carrie ordered mead from Thailand and Ryan an ESB from Cambodia. It was still too hot to sit outside but we enjoyed the air conditioning.

We moved to a “pub” called The Pub to get some cheaper local Chang beers. We played party games from our phones, threw some darts and shot pool over 5 liters of beer and many hours being distracted by the awful horror movies playing in the background. Finally, hungry, we crossed the street to an open-air market where we ate cheesy fries, more beer, spring rolls, gyoza and the spiciest basil pork ever. Ryan and Carrie were suffering working through the fried pork. We then headed home to bed, full and happy.

Day 6 – Bangkok – February 21

We ate our final breakfast in Chiang Mia at the café by our house called The Larder. We each had an open-face breakfast sandwich with various toppings from avocado to humus to mushrooms.  Ryan insisted on going here because the Google reviews were hilarious, some ranged from raving delicious, while others said the owner was the rudest man they had ever met in their entire lives and demanded refunds. The sandwiches were actually really good. Looks like the owner didn’t come in today.   We packed up and headed to the airport for our flight back to Bangkok. The flight was short and we were back in Bangkok by 2 pm.  We took the airport tram into the city again then battled the traffic in our Grab for 30 minutes to get to our charming Airbnb on the canal.

The Airbnb is essentially a large staircase with bedrooms on three floors. We dropped our bags, avoiding the many stray cats – most of which only had half a tail, and sought some lunch. We settled on a place called XXMagic Thai. It wasn’t too crowded being 4 pm, but we enjoyed coconut and Massaman curry with beer. Next, we walked down to the Flower Market. It was about a 30-minute walk across town and Bangkok is much warmer than Chiang Mai, so we were sweating.  We wandered through the various flower stalls and were pretty underwhelmed, maybe it was just too late in the day to see the hustle and bustle we dreamed of.

We went home and took a reading break. Our friends Nicole and Drew land tonight at 11:30, so it was going to be a late night of catching up and waiting for them. Eventually, around 8, we decided to go out and walk the streets at night. We are right by Khaosan Road a road with a lot of bars and stalls. The food stalls didn’t seem as authentic as the ones in Chiang Mai and the streets were packed with tourists. We decided to grab food and a drink off the main road, our old-person-ears were ringing from the loud music. We settled on a place across the street from our Airbnb called Hong Kong Noodles and got various noodles, broth, and meat.

We walked further down the street and found and expat bar with a heavy metal cover band composed of adorable Thai youths. We grabbed a couple drinks and listened. The bar owner ended up being from Liechtenstein, he said it was too boring there, so he moved to Thailand. Finally, Nicole and Drew arrived and we went back to the noodle shop across the road for beers and to let them eat some food.

Day 7 – Bangkok – February 22

Unfortunately, no one had a good night’s rest. The walls of the Airbnb are paper thin and all night we heard literal catfights and people talking. The worst was at 6 am when it sounded like a man began building furniture, hammering away. The others left to try to grab some breakfast and coffee around 8:30 while we were lazy, not a lot is open for breakfast in the morning anyway. It was already pretty hot around 9:30 when we began our 25-minute walk towards the royal palace and some temples. It was a hot walk along a not so scenic road with a lot of traffic.

We’d been to many temples at this point and thought we were prepared, with the boys not wearing tank tops and carrying shawls for the girls to put over their shoulders. For whatever reason, this temple is extremely strict on the dress code. We got down there and discovered the long pants/skirt was strictly enforced and they didn’t accept shawls as a shoulder cover. Instead of walking back home to get the proper attire then walking back, added to the fact that the place was already crowded with tourists, we decided to try again the next day. We piled into boy and girl Ubers (unable to take just one) and rode 20 minutes to the giant weekend market called Chatuchak.

The place was gigantic and we spent a couple hours weaving through the stalls and making some purchases. Elizabeth and Nicole got more thin cheap elephant pants and Ryan a pair of sunglasses. Eventually we were starving and sought out a restaurant in the middle of the market. The food was so-so, but we got some beers and were able to sit down and cool off for a bit.

We wandered around for a little longer before we got back in our Grabs towards the Airbnb. We wanted the new comers to experience a nice temple setting so we walked about 20 minutes to the temple Wat Ratchabophit Sathitmahasimaram. It was free to enter and often overlooked by tourists. The temple was beautiful and we pretty much had the place to ourselves. It was one structure with a small temple area and an inner chamber with different statues of the Buddha. We put on full pants and shirts just to be safe but they weren’t necessary for this temple, making us extremely hot.

After wandering around for about an hour, we noticed it looked like they were maybe setting up for a wedding, so we began walking back towards Khaosan Road. We stopped in a small Chinese food market so Ryan could get some pork soup and snacked on delicious butter crackers. The soup was reportedly delicious as well. Then we made it to the infamous Khaosan Road. After some brief window shopping, we settled into a bar with 99 bhat, or $3.17, for 620 ml of the local beer Leo. Happy hour lasted 2 hours and we did some damage.

Desperate for food, we found some more street stalls a block or so away and tried different Thai food from noodles to eggs to rice. We ended with Carrie and Ryan sharing a scorpion that tasted burnt to a crisp, best $1.60 Elizabeth ever spent. Next, we hit up some of the loud music party bars. We settled on a street table where we could order 1-liter towers of beer, that you pour out of a spigot, Ryan was so excited. We spent the next two towers shouting over the loud music and dancing, it’s so fun to be with college friends. 

Day 8 – Phuket – February 23

Luckily the noise wasn’t as intense the second night and we managed to get some rest. Everyone but Ryan jumped in an Uber to make it to the Grand Palace as it opened. The crowds were much smaller and the weather comfortable for us in our pants and shirts. The Palace has been the official residence of the king since the days of Siam from 1782 to 1925. The grounds are huge and made up of several buildings and temples. We wandered through enjoying the architecture and painted wall murals.

We went into the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, or Wat Prah Kaew, which is the royal chapel inside the palace. The emerald buddha sat high on a gold throne, though was smaller than expected. He had on a gold shawl and they can change his clothes with seasons and holidays. We weren’t allowed any photos inside.

Our last section of the tour included a museum and a very Thai style modern government building. We only had an hour to spend before we walked back home and grabbed some cars toward the airport 30 minutes outside of the city. We checked our bags and ate McDonalds and lounge beers until we could board our 1-hour flight south to Phuket. After landing, we had a 1-hour car ride to our Airbnb.

We weren’t sure what quite was in store for us before landing.  Our host changed our plans on us at the last minute; his guests in the place we rented weren’t leaving as they were here from China and didn’t want to go back to their homeland and potentially contract COVID-19.  He told us that they were sick, but didn’t have corona, but he had a bigger, different villa that we could stay at instead.  We looked at a few other options, but ended up agreeing to the change.  Our house has an infinity pool on the upper deck and a big living space and multiple bedrooms. We swam around for a bit, but were pretty hungry. Our host helped us rent a scooter to go around the island. We only rented one to start, to make sure we comfortable riding in Thai traffic.

We volunteered to ride first. The house is located on a giant hill, in fact most of Phuket is giant hills, so the scooter has to have enough power to get you to the top. Ryan took a practice lap, almost getting bit by a dog, then we were off to the convenient store for beer and snacks. The experience was terrifying trying to weave into busy traffic and not knowing where we were going. We also ended up buying too much at the store and had to ride home with a seat full of beer, bags of chips in bags on Elizabeth’s arms, and a giant water jugs between our legs. We made it in one piece, but decided scootering around isn’t our ideal mode of transportation.

Around 7 pm a van picked us up to take us to the Phuket Old Town Sunday Market. The street was closed off and 4 blocks were packed with people walking among the vendors in the middle of the street. They had live music and lots of drunk people. We did a few laps, it’s tough to decide what to get when everything looks good. Eventually we picked a small “restaurant” on the street so we could get beers and sit at a table. The food was delicious and Elizabeth finally got her Thai omelet. We wandered around a bit after, but then decided to hit up some bars.

Our first bar had a pool table but unfortunately old Thai men had it on lock down. We drank some beers and listed to the live music, which consisted of two men singing American songs though they clearly didn’t speak English and were just singing what they thought the lyrics sounded like. Eventually it got a little too loud for us and we found a jazz bar nearby called Bebop Live Music Bar. Everyone drank cocktails and we listened to the jazz band, jazz up contemporary American music. Half way through the set a man we can only describe as Thai Elton John came into the bar with bongos and joined the band. He wore a sequin hat and vest and giant sun glasses. He passed out maracas and egg shakers and wanted us to get involved. We couldn’t tell if the band liked him there or not.  Shortly, Ryan was the only one committed to playing his instrument with the band, which we think made the guy like us.  At one point he got on the mic and asked us if we were good people or “ugly Americans”!  Eventually a local woman named Kamin befriended us and taught us the way locals drink rum.  It’s super cheap to buy a bottle ($10) and you just mix tonic water and ice. We’d seen people doing this everywhere but didn’t know what the liquor was. Drinking way more than we intended, and spending more than we thought possible in Thailand, we called it a night and returned to the villa.

Day 9 – Phuket – February 24

We started early today so we could hike to the Big Buddha sitting on top of the hill across from ours. Our host said it was a 20-minute walk to town then the trail began and it was an hour hike to the Buddha. We skipped eating since there would be restaurants along our hike. Google predicted it would take closer to 35 minutes alleged trail starting point, and then it actually took us over an hour. We walked along the road, hoping to not get taken out by a scooter, then when we found the road, it was the steepest hill we’d ever seen. We made it to the top and asked a few locals about the trailhead and no one seemed to know what we were talking about. We were getting hungry and sweaty and still couldn’t find it. We had to call the host and he told us to keep walking and we’d know it when we saw it.  After another steep hill climb, we found it.

The entire trail consisted of steep uphill on loose dirt with ropes on the side you to help pull yourself up. We started seeing pretty nice views on the beach nearby when we weren’t in the thick foliage. About 45 minutes later we made it to the ridge and the row of restaurants. We sat on the outdoor patio with a nice view of the ocean and drank beer and juice while eating delicious Thai food. We still had about 15 minutes along the road to make it to the big Buddha and needed to gather our strength.

We set out again and made it to the entrance. We had to cover up our shoulders and knees so we unpacked the extra clothes from our backpacks. Unfortunately, it was pretty hot and we were already sweaty. The overlooks were great and you can see different beach and mountain scenes around Phuket. We walked up to the big Buddha and wandered around the base. The Buddha is only 13 years old and they are still building the inner temple section.  After getting all we could out of the sight we decided it was time for more drinking.

We headed over to the Chalong Bay Rum Distillery, hoping we didn’t smell too bad. The distillery was gorgeous and we sat under a bungalow-type roof drinking mojitos and eating overpriced, but delicious, appetizers. At 2 we went on the tour and they explained the process of making rum and the difference between industrial sugarcane that uses molasses, and theirs that only uses sugarcane.  Then they showed us the various equipment used to process the sugarcane and produce the rum.  After the tour we did a tasting of 6 different rums. Ryan did double duty as Elizabeth can’t take shots and had extra thimbles full of rum. Our final drink was a cocktail of syrup, ice, and rum.  Everything was really good!

We stopped at a convenient store for more beers and snacks on the way home and even grabbed our own bottle of rum. We spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by the pool. For dinner we took a cab 30 minutes north to the famous Patong Beach and Bangla Road. Bangla Road is like the Vegas of Thailand. It’s a real sensory overload with loud music, flashing lights and tons of people inviting you to ping pong shows. We got a doner kebab to split as we walked the street of debauchery. Eventually we found a dinner restaurant and sat right on the street. Cars drove by with loud speakers advertising Muay Thai fighting competitions. The food was delicious per usual. As we walked back towards the beach down Bangla Road the pole dancers were out and a lot of women were standing on bars barely swaying with the music. There is a pretty ethically questionable sex industry here and we saw a few grown white men groping women. We walked along the beach then found a final bar and Ryan got Thai ice cream, where they mix and roll the ice cream into spirals on a chilled surface right in front of you.  Everyone was lagging a bit, so we decided to call it a fairly early night and we went home.

Day 10 – Phuket – February 25

We got picked up around 9:30 to go to Rawai beach. We popped into the closest 7-eleven for beer, snacks and water before our boat journey. We had a long boat to ourselves and would be island hopping for the day. Unfortunately, the weather was a bit windy so the seas were a little choppy. We were between shore and the nearest island when our boat sputtered and came to a stop. Our boat had broken down and our driver called a friend to pick us up and take us to our first stop called Bon Island.

A European woman named Dawn greeted us and said we could swim, snorkel, and that she ran the restaurant on the island. We were pretty hot, and got right in the water then began hunting fish. The water wasn’t as clear as we’d hoped, but we still saw plenty of crabs, fish, and even a sea slug. After an hour of swimming, and everyone slicing themselves on the sharp rocks, we ventured to the other side of the island to lay in the sun.

There were lots of girls taking photographs for social media and we enjoyed watching the posing. Soon we moved into the shade, the sun is very intense here, then into the restaurant. The food was pretty good but a little pricy; they trap you on the island and don’t really give you a choice. Elizabeth got a fancy fried rice served in a hollowed pineapple.

It was time for our second island, so we piled back on the boat and back into the choppy seas. The original driver had fixed his boat and came back for us; we were curious if we’d make all the way this time. We were getting sprayed by all the water flying up when the boat smacked down on a wave. The second island was called Coral Island and he drove right up to a floating dock to drop us off. There were supposed to be a lot of activities here, but we didn’t see anyone parasailing or banana boating. Instead we continued laying on the beach and swimming in the cool water.

Our driver came to get us a little early since the tide was going out and we had about a 30-minute ride back to Rawai beach. Back at the house we swam in the pool and drank the rum and beers we’d bought the night before. For dinner we decided to order-in using the Grab equivalent to Uber Eats. We got Indian and Thai food. We spent the rest of the night playing drinking games gorging ourselves.

Day 11 – Krabi – February 26

We sent Carrie and Nicole off on the scooter in the morning to find us some breakfast. They returned unscathed and the scooter intact, but they didn’t have a lot of success finding food, so we ordered through Grab again.  Elizabeth thought she was getting dumplings, but accidently ordered three frozen crabs. Finally, our driver arrived to take us the 3 hours from Phuket to Krabi on the other side of the bay. The drive was uneventful, if terrifying, but we did have gorgeous views of the limestone cliffs around Phang Nga Bay.

We arrived at our villa called Baan Sawan and immediately hit the pool. There are 11 villas that share a pool and bar. Lots of older Europeans were lounging nearby, but we had the pool to ourselves. To pass the time, we decided to toss baht coins in the deep end and timed each other fetching them. I think we confused the Europeans with our loud games and a bunch of adults in goggles. At dinner time, we hopped in a tuk tuk and headed over to the beach area. We found the beach and still had a couple of hours until sunset, so we stopped at a bar called Full Moon Bar and got a few appetizers and a tower of beer to hold us over. The appetizers were surprisingly delicious and we weren’t scarred from our towers the night in Bangkok.

The beach sunset was underwhelming due to the amount of clouds, but still had pretty red and pink hues. We walked down a main strip with food and found another bar called Joses. Nicole and Elizabeth had won a shot bet so they got to give the other three a shot of their choice. We picked more B52 shots (Carrie had unwittingly ordered one at the jazz bar thinking it was a cocktail) so they could light them on fire, apparently, they taste pretty good too.

Ryan found a restaurant called Family Thai Food & Seafood right up the street and we sat on the street in plastic chairs, very local feel. The food was absolutely incredible and we got a bottle of rum and tonic water to share among us, the whole bottle was $16. Elizabeth swears it was the best Massaman curry she’s ever had. We returned to the villa and played more games before finally going to bed.

Day 12 – Krabi – February 27

Everyone was slow-moving the next morning and needed an early pool dip to get us ready for the day. Again, all the Europeans were watching us swim laps and hunt coins. We got a tuk tuk back to the beach and ate a delicious Indian/Thai lunch, with some hair of the dog. We grabbed some water bottles and snacks from a 7-eleven nearby then boarded a longtail boat to Railay Beach. Railay is one of the most picturesque and well-known beaches in Thailand.  As it’s surrounded by steep limestone cliffs, it is only accessible by helicopter and boat. We figured we’ll spring for the helicopter another time.

Upon arrival we immediately found the climbing center and booked our afternoon tour. We geared up and walked to the other side of the beach where we would be climbing in the shade.  Coincidentally, we go there at the perfect time as the morning climbers were leaving and the afternoon climbers hadn’t yet arrived. We had the place to ourselves for the first hour. Since we are all experienced climbers, our guide Jay could put up multiple routes and we could belay each other, so we didn’t have to wait to go one at a time. The first two routes were technically speaking really easy, but it’s a popular climbing area and the rock is worn smooth and slick, which adds a new level of difficulty.

Everyone made it up the first two routes then the crowds started pouring in. We were there during high tide, so there wasn’t a lot of beach space and a lot of routes weren’t accessible yet. Luckily the other climbers seemed like first-time tourists so we didn’t have to wait long for the harder routes. We did one that was 90 meters high and provided great views of the surrounding cove.

For our last climb we tried a 6a+ rating and Ryan was the only one who could finish it. By then the tide was beginning to go out and opening up different routes, but we were pretty hot and tired and ready for a swim. We walked back and dumped all the equipment then hit the beach.

Parts of the beach were nice and sandy and of course the part in the shade was rocky and sharp. We waded around trying not to cut our feet, then laid in the shade. We knew Drew was going to propose to Nicole on this trip and we’d all had our eyes out for a good spot, so we could know when to leave them alone. Elizabeth spotted a small secret beach about a 10-minute walk away with great views and privacy. Drew asked Nicole to go with him, which she first tried to refuse, then tried to drag everyone with them.  We declined.

They came back 20 minutes later with a shiny new ring and we held a mini photo shoot with the gorgeous limestone cliff background. We caught a longboat back to Krabi and split up so Nicole and Drew could share a romantic sunset dinner. Ryan, Carrie and Elizabeth watched the sunset then went back to the villa to shower and had our own romantic dinner by a river front restaurant. The tuk tuk driver’s wife recommended it. We’d seen her come to this restaurant almost every day so she must know someone, or really like it. The food was delicious, we ate curry and Thai pork basil and of course some Singha and Chang with ice.  About halfway through we realized they had been mixing our beers (these helpful teenagers were pouring our beers into little glasses from the big bottles), but we didn’t really notice. We tuk tuk-ed back to the Full Moon bar on the beach where we drank a celebratory tower of beer and played pool with our newly engaged friends.

Day 13 – Krabi – February 28

The next morning, we started with another dip and pool games. We ate breakfast poolside while Nicole bragged to everyone on the phone, and eventually got ready to tuk tuk back to the boats and head again to Railay Beach. There were so many activities we hadn’t gotten to do the day before and the views were so gorgeous, we decided to go again. We left from a different dock, with a way worse captain, but we got about 10 extra minutes cruising along the cliffs.

Our main activity was kayaking through coves and out to remote islands. Ryan got his own, Carrie and Elizabeth shared a double, and Nicole and Drew shared a double. Kayaking was surprisingly easy for the first hour, the water was pretty calm. The tide was high, but we still made it through caves and under the cliffs of the limestone. It was a carbonate geologist’s paradise.

We found a small place to run our kayaks ashore and swam around in the shallow water and climbed some rocks, again we left some blood behind. Back on the boats we circled more islands and found an overhang with a rope dangling into the water. Carrie paddled Elizabeth up to it and she climbed into the cave. Luckily nothing was too sharp to walk on.

Our arms were getting tired, but on our way back, we found one more, small cave to squeeze through; this one left a few people scathed on their arms and legs, but we all made it. After returning the boats we laid on the beach again for about an hour swimming and snacking until catching the 3 pm boat home. Railay beach has been one of the most beautiful beaches we’ve ever seen and we wish we could have spent more time here.

After the boat and subsequent tuk tuk ride home, we obviously played more coin searching games in the pool with some beers. We took a taxi about 30 minutes into Krabi proper for dinner at a local night market. This night market felt the most legitimate, and was by far the cheapest. First, we took a lap, snacking on meats and squid balls, then found a talent show on a big stage with tables and chairs lined up in front. We ordered large Leo beers then we peeled off to find dinner at various food stalls.  Results included things like steamed crab, fried rice and chicken, fresh mango, spicy chicken on a stick, and Japanese pizza. The talent show, or what we are assuming was a talent show, had an emcee and was full of all sorts of acts, ranging from teenage break dancers, a saxophone man, to girls in traditional costumes dancing. We loved it.

Since we’d traveled so far to get here, we decided to do a little bar hopping. Our first bar was called The Hobby Hops Craft Beer Bar, which was obviously a craft beer bar. Everyone got a different Thai craft beer and we sampled each other’s. The beers were pretty good, but fairly pricey even by American standards, so after a pint each, we headed to a different bar down the road. The next bar was a combination bar and dive shop. We drank one Chang but didn’t feel too welcome, so moved one last time up the street to a bar called Ole Bar.

We accidently got a little turnt up here as we got some free shots and a literal bucket of rum (9 shots) with a lot of straws. Nicole and Elizabeth had lost a shot bet and it was time to pony up. By the time we had to go home it was late and we ran across the street to the 7-eleven for car snacks. Carrie has been on fire picking out the best strange Thai snack foods, and didn’t disappoint this time with weird cheese straws and corn chips. We devoured everything on the way home.

Day 14 – Koh Phi Phi Don – February 29

We were up early the next morning to catch our 9:30 am ferry to Koh Phi Phi Don Island. The tuk tuk dropped us off one last time and we got our temperatures taken and walked across three boats to get to ours. The ferry takes a little under 2 hours and stopped once along the way to pick up other passengers dropped off by boat. The ride was a little rough for some of our hungover bodies, but overall, the seas were actually pretty smooth and most rejuvenated with a power nap. The ferry chairs were clearly old, American airplane seats bolted to the floor, so decently comfortable.

The boat was full of young partiers and we were excited to spend two nights on this party paradise. We docked and only had a 10-minute walk to our hostel. There are no cars on this island and very few bikes; the island itself is actually a decent size, but people only occupy a small corner. For two nights we were sharing a three-bunkbed hostel room. We filled up all but one bed, so the first night our companion was a nice young man named Trevor from Canada. We were pretty hungry, so we dumped our gear and ate lunch at a restaurant called Charlies down the street. We had some beers and delicious curry dishes. We love being somewhere where every restaurant has delicious chicken satay and spring roll appetizers.

After lunch we changed into our swimsuits and hit the beach, about a five-minute walk. It was extremely hot, but we managed to find a little space in the shade. The water was very sandy and didn’t cut our feet at all, which was a welcome transition. We swam around until our skin was fully pruned then laid on the sand. By late afternoon we decided to shower and clean up so we could hit the party island.

Our first happy hour beer was a bar called Relax and we drank some tall Chang beers. They had Jenga and Connect Four so we began playing games and watching soccer, a common theme of the night. Our next bar was called Banana. They were a step up with pool, darts, foosball, chess, and countless other games. We got a tower of beer and scattered playing various games. Finishing our beer, we walked by the beach as the sun set and the tide went out, leaving all the boats resting in the mud.

Finally, we decided we needed food to continue and found a restaurant called Garlic 1992. It was our favorite plastic-chair-style and the food was on point. We started with garlic bread and a bottle of rum, obviously, then tried fried squid and papaya salad. We were late to discovering papaya salad how good papaya salad is, we should have been eating this every day. Main courses included curries, fried rice, and Nicole got the garlic special. Our breath was less than ideal.  

It was still only 8:30 and we knew the beach parties didn’t heat up until 11. We went back to the hostel bar and drank more rum buckets and played Uno and Spot It. It was a great night of drinking games; it felt just like college. Finally, at 11:00 we headed over to the beach looking for parties, which were easy to find; we just followed the giant red sign to Slinky’s Bar. You could smell the gasoline immediately and see the fire dancers. We walked with our bucket along the sand and saw huge dance parties, a lot of double Dutch jump roping, and limbo.

The girls payed 100 baht ($3) to have arms, legs, and faces painted with black light paint. The artists were really good and they loved their flowers. We spent a few hours dancing and playing in the water and flashing our paint. We didn’t make it too late in the evening, and around 1 am we got some late night doner kebab, gorging ourselves on delicious meat and French fries.

Day 15 – Koh Phi Phi Don – March 1

The next morning, we woke up to hangovers, scattered paint chips and sand literally everywhere. Drew’s shoes in particular were somehow coated in 2 inches of sand. First order of business was to get some food.  We were really hungry and luckily Phi Phi knows it’s a party island for western tourists who wake up early with hangovers, and cater to those needs. We went to Calamaro Restaurant down the road and were served by a very grumpy waiter who clearly didn’t want to be there especially not serving us. We were all, disappointed in our western breakfasts, except for Ryan who got some local Thai food and said it was delicious.  When in Rome.

Next, we decided to hike up to the different viewpoints that look out over the island. It was about a 10-minute walk to the stairs. Then you begin climbing what felt like 10,000 steps to the top, though it’s actually a mile hike and 568 feet in elevation change. The first stop is Viewpoint One and the park is littered with chairs and benches shaped like various fruits. There is also a plaque that shows pictures before and after the tsunami that happened in 2004.

Next, we walked to the second view point, up higher ramps and stairs. This one had a large viewing platform and you could see both sides of the island and the small strip our hotel is on in the middle. The water was extraordinarily blue. We sat in the shade watching people pose for their Instagram shots and added colorful commentary. Finally, it was time to make the long hike down, we are all getting old and our knees hurt.

Eager to try everything the island has to offer, we found a trip coordinator at the bottom and booked a snorkel trip for the afternoon. We wanted to see the island next door, Ko Phi Phi Lay and swim with the bioluminescent plankton. It only cost $11 per person and included 5 hours on the boat, lunch, a bunch of snorkel destinations, and gear. We had about an hour to kill until it was time to go, so we bought water and snacks and relaxed in our rooms AC.

We arrived at the booking place to be taken to our boat. We knew we didn’t book a private tour, but we were surprised when we were joined by about 30 other people to walk to the pier. Along the way we picked up at least an additional 30 people. Then when we arrived, we saw at least another 30 people already sitting at the next waiting area.  We all sat in the shade by a line of long boats and were grouped into boats about 18 people each. Our boat had some Instagram hoes, a couple families, and two alcoholic Australians. We boarded and were off to our first stop Monkey Bay.

We didn’t realize all the boats would take off at the same time, there had to be at least 20 boats following each other, then would cram into the different sites. The boats all went the same direction like one big crowded party boat line. We arrived at our first cove area with sheer cliffs and could watch the monkeys run around and climb on the cliff. Some were even down on the beach and we could take pictures with them. Some idiot tourists from other boats were trying to feed them and touch them and the monkeys did not like that at all.  After about 30 minutes here and some coaxing (our guide shouting at them that it was time to go) to get the Instagram girls back on the boat, we were off to point 2, Viking Caves.

The Viking Caves are at the bottom of a limestone cliff. We didn’t stop at them, but cruised by slowly as our captain yelled and pointed in their general direction. There are apparently old cave drawings of Viking looking like ships on one of the walls. We didn’t see them. The area was also built up with a lot of ladders and wood; the Swiftlet bird lives here and people steal their nests to sell for a high profit as, apparently, they are edible.

We motored a little further down and anchored up to a line with floats to have our first snorkel experience. We were handed a “clean” mask – fingers crossed no coronavirus – and jumped in. The snorkeling was awesome. The sun was already behind the cliff so the light wasn’t as amazing as it could be and things were still bright and colorful. We saw giant sea urchins, various coral, and fish. After about 30 minutes of snorkeling, we were the last ones on the boat, our captain passed out small Styrofoam containers of cold fried rice. What an underwhelming included lunch, luckily, we had more of Carrie’s weird snacks including: chocolate cookies in the shape of koalas, a spicy nut mix, and onion flavored chips.

After we were done stuffing our faces, we drove into Pileh Lagoon Cove. This cove area was gorgeous, surrounded by sheer limestone walls on either side. We joined the other 30 boats, we were now behind which was nice because we started leaving last and had some time with less crowds, and jumped in. At this point most of our other boat partners seemed over it, but we still had hours on our trapped cruise. We swam into a few smaller cove areas and cleaned up some of the trash. These areas have been dealing with huge ecological problems because of trash and sewage from the mass of tourists each day. Koh Phi Phi alone gets over 5,000 visitors each day.

After a brief swim, we sailed a little further around the tip of the island to Loh Sama Bay. Carrie and Nicole were done with snorkeling but Ryan, Drew and Elizabeth jumped in. Immediately we noticed more jellyfish in the water, a ridiculous amount of jellyfish actually. It was impossible not to touch them as they bumped against all of our body parts, luckily, they didn’t sting us. There was a beautiful beach about a football field away from the boat we wanted to check out. The swim over was traumatizing as you had to swim through pods of hundreds of jelly fish to get there. They never stung, but we’ve been trained to think they will, so it was nerve wracking. The worst part was close to the beach you had to pass through a solid mass of jellies. We all made it alive, if a bit shaken, and stood on the beach almost fearing our swim back.

Our next boat stop was to pass by Maya Bay, the famous beach where they filmed the 2000 movie The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s currently closed to all traffic so it can ecologically recover as it was receiving over 5,000 tourists a day (just about everyone who came to Phi Phi, went to Maya Beach), and they were ruining the beach and corals. We went across the bay to another spot to do our final daylight snorkel. We were apprehensive to get in but were happy to discover no jellies here. Instead we were met with huge schools of colorful fish. We swam around for 30 minutes until the sun got close to setting.

We sailed out into the ocean away from the island and sat waiting for the sunset. There were no clouds so we got to see the beautiful orange ball sink right into the ocean. As dusk set in we headed back near Phi Phi to swim with the bioluminescent plankton: our big draw for coming in the first place. We had to wait about 20 minutes for it to get dark enough, then he encouraged us to jump in.  The whole time the Instagram girlies were complaining about how they needed to get back for a SCUBA lesson, like they didn’t know this trip would end at the right time.  As if.  We thought the plankton would be big and bright enough to see from the boat, but you can actually only see them when you are underwater and disturb the water by moving your arms or legs. They are so tiny and only react to the jostling.  It was totally worth seeing. We sailed back to shore and were excited to be off the boat trip.  

We walked back to our hostel room where we found two girls in one bunkbed giggling in the dark. Normally hostels are pretty strict with the one-bed-one-person rule, but here it didn’t seem to matter. The girls were young, probably early twenties, and talked like annoying hippies. We showered quickly then left them, not looking forward to sharing a room with them. For dinner we ate at a restaurant called Basil Bistro and let our appetites get the better of our ordering.  Every place we’ve been has been great, but the portion sizes have not been enough to fully satisfy our hunger, so we’d thought we would remedy that.  Both Nicole and Ryan ordered two entrees while most people got an appetizer and an entrée; only Ryan could finish all his food. We made one pit stop on the way home at a bar to drink a pitcher and watch some futbol. We were pretty exhausted and had a monster day of travel tomorrow so we turned in early and had a little more trouble sleeping since the bar was bumping right outside our door.

Day 16 – Bangkok – March 2

Carrie and Ryan slept in while Elizabeth, Drew and Nicole hit the streets at 7 am looking for some breakfast. We had a long day of transportation back to Bangkok with tight connections – didn’t want to add food-crabbiness to the pile. We went back to Charlie’s and each got various breakfast items from smashed tomato toast to eggs benedict. It was pretty good and we came back and found Carrie and Ryan finishing packing. Looks like our two young female roommates never came back the night before.

After checking out and buying our ferry tickets, we loaded up our bags and walked down to the pier. We arrived 30 minutes prior to departure and got good seats inside. The waters seemed a little rougher this morning. Eventually we set sail and had a 2 hour and fifteen-minute ride back to Phuket. There was some confusion on timetables, etc. and some passengers had concerns about making it to the airport on time. They also swindled us by getting telling us after boarding, that they were dropping us off at a private pier and we were required to book their transportation. We’d heard about these schemes, but had managed to dodge them until now.  After looking at the price of a potential Grab and other options, we found out the markup really wasn’t outrageous.

We told the ticket man that we had a plane to catch, so he let us stand at the back of the boat 10 minutes before arrival, then ushered us into a cab right away. It’s an hour’s drive north to the airport, but with Thai traffic you really never know. Luckily everything was smooth and after checking our bags we still had an hour to kill at the airport. Nicole and Elizabeth ate Burger King, while Ryan, Carrie, and Drew hit up the lounge. The flight was an easy hour and everything was on time.

After collecting our bags, we had a 30 min tram ride back to the city, then fifteen minutes on the metro, then a final fifteen-minute walk to our high-rise Airbnb. It was quite the journey and everyone was exhausted by the end.  We decided to get some ramen for our last night at a authentic looking place just down the road; we’d eaten a lot of Thai food and were looking for a little change of pace. We drank our last beers and ate hot soup and dumplings reminiscing about our favorite activities.

After dinner, we went to a rooftop bar called Aire Bar at the top of the Hyatt Place Bangkok. The drinks were outrageously priced, but we each got one and shared some mango sticky rice. The views were worth the price of a drink. Finally, we went back and Carrie packed her stuff. She was the first to leave and we put her in an Uber at 10:30 pm for her 1:00 am flight to Seoul. The rest of us went to bed, anticipating another busy day of travel tomorrow.

Day 17 – Bangkok – March 3

We said good-bye to Nicole and Drew at 5:30 am, putting them in a Grab to the airport. After sleeping for a few more hours we got up and went to the complex’s gym. It’d been awhile since we’d worked out and we could feel the layer of fat we’d acquired over the last three weeks. We showered and packed and were on our way to the airport by 10 am.

The line for Bali check-in was full of white, western-looking travelers in backpacks. Cheap destination to cheap destination – it makes sense. Security and immigration were a breeze and we spent some time in a lounge prior to boarding. The food was pretty good too. We loved our time in Thailand and could have spent more, especially down south at all the islands. We’ll admit we were a little sick of salt water and sand at the end, but it’s not a bad problem to have!  We’ll stay at a nice hotel next time, so we can rinse off right after getting off the beach.  We can’t say enough good about Thailand; it’s a well-established tourist destination and would be fairly easy to navigate for new travelers wanting to explore Asia, families, and friends ready to rage on cheap booze.

Things we learned in Thailand:

  1. There is a 7-Eleven on every corner.
  2. An Asian elephant is different than an African elephant in that it has smaller, rounder ears, a twin domed head, and only the males can grow tusks.
  3. Wat means temple.
  4. Pad Thai was invented in 1930 by the prime minister at the time. He was focused on nation-building and he united the north and south. He used Chinese noodles and called the dish Pad Thai to encourage nationalism.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Day 1 – Kuala Lumpur – February 7

Our flight landed at 12:15 am and we were relieved to be getting off the uncomfortable plane. We rushed through to make it to immigration, but were met by long lines. Kuala Lumpur seems to be a very busy airport and they had at least 5 other flights arrive from around the world when we did. The status board indicated they’d continue to receive flights throughout the night. As Americans, we don’t need an immigration visa to visit for less than 30 days, but a lot of other countries do, which makes our entry process take that much longer. When we finally got up there, we were through in 30 seconds after a quick finger print scan.

Luckily, our hostel driver was meeting us outside of the airport, but unluckily for him, we didn’t make it outside until 2:30 am. It was a quick drive to the Good Travelers Hostel, where for $12 we got a private room with a bunk bed. We were so exhausted, and the air conditioning felt so nice, we fell right asleep.

Later that morning we didn’t wake up until 10:30 am. We have some jet lag as we are now 4 hours ahead of United Arab Emirates, but not too bad. We showered and talked with our host. Our ATM cards hadn’t worked the night before so we called the bank, who shut them down due to an international usage flag, even though we’d been gone for 8 months. We got it sorted and payed him 70 ringgits for the room and ride, or $16. Next, we called a Grab, see Southeast Asian Uber, and drove 45 minutes into downtown Kuala Lumpur.

To celebrate our anniversary weekend, we splurged to stay at a nice hotel.  After much deliberation, we choose the Westin in Bukit Bintang. Since we have status with Marriott, we were whisked up to the club lounge to check in and get a drink. We hadn’t been in a nice place for a while and we enjoyed the pampering and service. Our rate includes free breakfast, dinner, and 2 hours of free drinks each night – we couldn’t believe the deal. We headed up to our room on the 33 of 36 floors and had a great view over the city. They even had a card and happy anniversary cake waiting for us. We checked out the pool and gym area, also very nice, and played a game of 9 ball on the wonky pool table.

Finally, it was time to see some of Malaysia and we walked towards the Petronas Towers and KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Center) Park. Kuala Lumpur isn’t heavy on cross walks and most of their sidewalks are fenced in, making crossing the street and navigating the labyrinth of downtown difficult. We eventually made it into the park and right at the opening we found the ExxonMobil building. Maybe one day we can live and work here!

The park has a large track on the outside for jogging and the interior has beautiful trees, lots of fountains, and a huge children’s playground. This had to have been the largest playground Elizabeth had ever seen. We walked through a small water park area and found the famous whale statue.

The Petronas Towers are iconic and look a little like they are leaning. At this point it was 3 pm and we hadn’t eaten anything yet today. Ryan was rather cranky so we went into the mall to find some food. We never thought we’d spend this much time in malls! We settled on a Korean Street food restaurant called K-Fry. We ordered wings and fries that come with a cheese sauce. We didn’t realize the waitress would melt the cheese in front of us then wrap it around our chicken, but it was amazing.  Two piles of spicy fried chicken and French fries? Ryan was in heaven.

We wandered back to the hotel through the park enjoying the various trees and people watching.  There’s a bridge perfectly positioned to have the Petronas Towers in the background.  Half of the bridge is the running trail, and it’s one man’s job is to keep people who aren’t jogging off of it.  Ryan loved watching him blow his whistle constantly to shoo people off the path.  Finally, we made it back and headed to the club lounge for our drinks. We had beer and wine and played cribbage; Elizabeth won. We ended the night splashing around in the large pool we had all to ourselves: it stays open until 2 am! We had great views of brilliantly lit up surrounding skyscrapers.

Day 2 – Kuala Lumpur – February 8

The next morning, we slept in – this hotel bed is so wonderful – then made our way to our free breakfast. They have such an interesting spread of western, Chinese, Indian and Malaysian breakfast foods. We are getting better using the Malaysian phrase for thank you, terima kasih.  After breakfast we lounged about for a couple hours then decided to hit the gym. The hotel has a very nice gym facility and we did our best to erase months of daily beers. Afterwards we took a little steam in the sauna room then swam to cool off.

We’ve had deeply overcast weather both days so far, making the 90 degrees feel quite comfortable. Our plan was to go to the Batu Caves in the afternoon, but traffic looked awful (and one of our first Grab drivers cancelled, saying he didn’t want to drive up there – yikes), so we decided to postpone and walk around our neighborhood, Bukit Bintang. We were, once again, in and out of malls all afternoon. We walked into a few discount clothing stores, but their sizes were comically small. We also walked past a number of street food vendors serving everything from fried whole mini crabs to cheese corndogs; yes, you read that right, there is nothing but cheese inside. Eventually we found a restaurant called Restaurant Ikhwan to get some lunch.

The place was deserted and we paid just $5 for two noodle dishes and two black teas; fingers crossed we don’t get food poisoning. The restaurant is right behind the Graffiti Alley so we walked through enjoying the new art. It smelled heavily of paint, so we think some of the walls were new. People were taking selfies everywhere. We walked back to the hotel and got ready for another happy hour.

We arrived right at 6 pm to maximize our two hours of drinking. We sampled everything tonight, from champagne to wine to liquor and, of course, beer. We played more cribbage, Elizabeth managed to win again. We closed the bar down by ordering 4 drinks at 8 pm to carry us into the night. We were pretty drunk and happy by the time we stumbled into bed.

Day 3 – Kuala Lumpur – February 9

Today is our first wedding anniversary.  To celebrate we made plans to go out for dinner at a Japanese yakiniku restaurant.  We felt pretty crummy and hungover in the morning and the breakfast buffet did its best to revive us. The afternoon was spent pumping iron at the gym and lazing around the pool. We ordered a few poolside beers, a quesadilla, and played more cribbage; Ryan finally achieved a razor thin margin victory.  It was getting late into the afternoon, so we scampered back upstairs to clean up before anniversary happy hour.  After doing our best to pound as many drinks as possible in our two hours of freedom, and playing a few rounds of cribbage, we hustled over to our 8:30 dinner reservations.  Or tried to, rather.  We booked a table at a Japanese all-you-can-eat, cook-it-yourself restaurant (yakiniku) in the mall next door.  Thinking it would be a short walk to an extravagant meal, we left ourselves about 10 minutes to walk over there.  Unfortunately, we needed about half an hour; we got utterly lost in that mall, walking all across, over, up, and down it.  Up two escalators to a walking bridge that led into a different mall.  Wrong way.  Down one flight of stairs into a department store that we thought connected to the right area.  Led us outside onto the street.  Up three escalators to the food court area.  Still no sign of the restaurant. 

Eventually, we found it on the 7th floor.  We sat down at a booth with a hole in the middle.  After ordering a couple drinks, a man brought over a steel grate and a chimney of hot coals that we would use to cook our meats.  We ordered the sampler platter, which consisted of various slices of fish, prawn, pork collar, pork belly, pork bacon, beef bacon, beef ribeye and lamb shoulder.  We were in meat heaven.  We spent the next couple of hours listening to a surprisingly excellent mix of music and feasting.  Did we mention the beer was on special?  After downing 3 or 4 a piece, we stumbled out of the restaurant as the staff were closing up shop.  We must have shut the entire mall down, because on our way out, we couldn’t leave through the entrance we came in.  The doors were locked.  We were funneled to a different exit a flight above us that led further down the street.  After escaping, we returned to our hotel room and called Elizabeth’s parents to make drunken plans to meet in Zurich.  It was a perfect anniversary.

Day 4 – Kuala Lumpur – February 10

We once again woke up feeling a bit rough.  The buffet breakfast also once again did its best to revive us, though it had limited success this time around.  The only sure-fire way to get rid of those dredges of debauchery were hydration and physical exertion.  So, after letting our food settle, we hit the gym and started chugging water.  Before we knew it, we were lounging by the pool feeling right as rain.  Unfortunately, we thought, it was soon time to check out, but Ryan had found us another luxury hotel to stay in just down the road; this time at a traditionally Malaysian-inspired hotel, the RuMa Hotel and Residences.  Because it was Chinese New Year, and it was at a Chinese hotel chain, we got an amazing half-off deal there.  We saddled up our backpacks and began the 10-minute walk to our new hotel, arriving only slightly sweaty and eager to let our loads down. 

From the get-go this hotel showed exceptional attentiveness; as soon as we walked up, they could very well have asked us if we were lost and shooed us away (we must look quite haggard with our multiple backpacks and unkempt beards), but instead, the immediately inquired if we were checking in and offered to take our bags.  We were then swept into a marvelously bamboo-paneled entryway, replete with dark inlays, golden accents, and spiral staircases.  Followed up by floral scents and warm lighting, we knew we were in for a treat.  They offered us cool towels and a local, if quite sour, bordering on offensive, tea that was meant to make us feel at home.   Soon we were walking down a dark wood enameled hallway on the 14th floor into our home for the next few days.  After entering Ryan’s suspicions were confirmed, they upgraded us to a deluxe bedroom for our anniversary.

We sampled a few treats from the mini-bar, including a couple of beers and some interesting local snacks, then decided it was time to explore the hotel.  On the 6th floor we found the infinity pool, bar, and gym.  Everything we needed to be comfortable.

Not to willing to pay the food prices at our fancy hotel, we headed over towards the mall to find some lunch.  Turns out, we love malls.  We wandered around a bit, but settled quite quickly on a Chinese dim sum restaurant.  In typical dim sum fashion, we ordered 4 or 5 items and two drinks.  We’ve had dim sum a few times in the past, but nothing of this caliber.  Our first dish came out in a bamboo steamer basket and is known as Xiao long bao; it’s a soft dumpling filled with meat (we got pork) and broth.  The menu had instructions on how to fill a small dish with rice vinegar, soy sauce, and a few other ingredients then poke a hole in the dumpling to allow the sauces to mix prior to eating it.  It tasted phenomenal.  Our next few dishes consisted of shumai, spring rolls, and typical wok-fried meats like you’d find in a regular Chinese restaurant.  After filling our bellies, we stopped by another bubble tea stand, we had to try them all and find out which was the best.  We wandered back to our hotel and enjoyed an evening swim at the infinity pool and nightcap beers.  Upon arriving at our room, we found a chocolate anniversary dessert waiting for us.  We brewed a pot of tea and gobbled up the cake almost too fast to taste; it was delicious.  Then we snuggled into bed and watched The Witcher on Netflix.

Day 5 – Kuala Lumpur – February 11

We woke up early this morning, before sunrise, around 7.  Knowing we were on our way to a new breakfast buffet, Ryan could hardly contain his excitement.  And he was not disappointed.  Greeted warmly, we were quickly sat and asked to look at the menu while they served us tea.  They had a dozen cooked to order entrees to choose from along with a few rows of buffet.  Ryan was making it his mission to try as much as he could, while Elizabeth settled for the omelet.  He ordered two local dishes (nasi lemak and padan waffles) then set out to fill up his own plate.  It was really an impressive spread; in addition to the usual spread of pastries, breads, juices, jams and jellies, they had bowl after bowl of dried fruits, nuts, spices, chilies, to spread over either granola with yogurt or congee.  After eating his three plates, Ryan ordered yet another local dish (laksam) from the waiter, much to his chagrin.  Delicious.

We were intent on finally seeing the Batu Caves today, and since we woke up so early, we would beat the traffic to get there.  After a 30-minute Grab ride, with a strange driver, we arrived at the foot of a massive golden statue of Murugan (the Hindu god of war) in front of a giant staircase leading into the caves.  In the square proceeding the steps, tourists were busy scaring flocks of pigeons and photographing themselves in the shadow of the statue.  What these pictures don’t capture is the smell.  There was a strong, pungent odor of only-God-knows-what throughout the sprawling mass of markets and food stands in front of the caves.  We quickly began out hike up the colorful steps, which we found out later were painted illegally in 2018 without the consent of the local government, all 272 steps.  Inside the cave consisted of a few limestone chambers leading into a massive open-ceilinged chamber with the main shrine.  Sadly, its natural beauty and spiritual presence was a bit spoiled by self-centered tourists and garbage-littered floors.  We can only imagine how stunning this place must have been a hundred or so years ago, before it became so commercialized. 

On our way out, we walked through the mass of tarp-covered shops and stalls surrounding the area.  Towards one end, we found a small side cave that charged us a whole 5 ringgit per person to get in (that’s $1.15).  Not nearly as large or as beautiful as the main cave, it was still an interesting experience, not the least because the cave was empty except for us and two or three other tourists.  Inside, the walls of the cave were painted along with a series of colorful statues to depict the story of Ramayana, one of ancient India’s epic Hindu scripts, which describes the life of Rama, a legendary prince.  Little explanation plaques were placed under most of the scenes, but they were all in Malaysian, so they weren’t very helpful.  The only downside was it was surprisingly hot in this cave, not much airflow, so we didn’t stay for too long.  All in all, 2 dollars well spent.

Instead of braving another taxi ride home, we decided to test out the public transport system.  We walked 5 or 10 minutes to the train station, being questioned all the while if we needed a taxi.  Upon arrival we found out that the price of a ticket was only 50 cents a person.  We scrambled onto the train as the doors were closing, which was good for us, as they only come by every 30 minutes.  Considering the price we paid, this train was spectacularly clean and well-run.  After getting back near the city center, we started the 45-minute walk back towards our hotel.  We could have hopped on another train to get closer, but we decided to explore.  On our way back, we of course had to stop in the mall to grab a couple of bubble teas and cool off in the A/C. 

Eventually we made it back to the RuMa and immediately set up to enjoy lunch by the infinity pool.  Ryan decided he needed to try some local food from this fancy hotel to see how it stacks up.  After looking at the menu, we noticed we were certainly paying a premium at the pool side restaurant.  We settled on the nasi goreng – Indonesian fried rice with chili sauce and an egg.  It was delicious, but at 3 times the price of what we’d get from a local spot, we’re not sure if it was actually worth it.  The pool-side happy hour beer specials were certainly cost effective though (pool happy hour being from noon to closing)! 

After lounging for a while, we sauntered down to the lobby bar to enjoy their happy hour from 3 to 5, where they have free sliders while you’re drinking.  We played chess and enjoyed our three plates of beef sliders and shrimp rolls.  Ryan of course was kicking Elizabeth’s butt.  Afterwards we strolled by the pool for an evening swim then finished the night with some Witcher in our hotel bed. 

Day 6 – Kuala Lumpur – February 12

We spent the morning stuffing our faces with buffet breakfast and lounging around the pool and hotel. Eventually we went to the train station and took the 30-minute train out to the suburbs. The rock gym we picked was located in a giant mall and, per tradition, we got lost looking for it. Eventually, after stopping by the information kiosk and getting lost again, we arrived at the Club 5 Climbing Gym. Climbing during the day on a weekday is great because there is hardly anyone there and often the gyms have discounted rates. We took our competency tests then hit the walls. We rented a rope to do lead climbing for an hour, so we warmed up on the regular top rope walls. We climbed for hours and as people started to arrive, we decided to get the rope. The holds were pretty challenging and there was a lot of overhang, making the routes quite tough. We both have a fear of falling when lead climbing because it can whip you into the wall. We tried to do some controlled falls, but it wasn’t our day.

A couple of kids asked us to help them climb since only one could belay and we got to chatting. They were both late teens to early twenties and gave us a ton of suggestions for things to do around the city and restaurants to eat. We were hungry and tired, so we said good-bye and set off to one of their recommendations. We took a Grab, luckily we weren’t too stinky or rather stink isn’t as much of an issue in some countries, to a Malaysian Indian Fusion restaurant. We got giant iced teas and one of our favorite meals. She got peppered noodles with cheese sticks that tasted like chicken cordon bleu alongside a gravy and French fries, absolutely mouthwatering; meanwhile Ryan got the restaurant’s signature dish, basically spicy pork noodles.

Bellies full, we tried to work the bus station to get home. We waited forever for the bus to arrive, only to find out we needed pre-purchased bus cards to ride. So, we booked a Grab to the train station and rode back to our area. That night we enjoyed our last infinity pool swim and some beers.

Day 7 – Kuala Lumpur – February 13

We ate our final free buffet breakfast then packed up to switch hotels, yet again. We were moving a little farther out this time, so we lazily took a Grab. Our next hotel was another Marriott called the Renaissance. We had a room that looked right at the space needle of Kuala Lumpur. This hotel consists of two huge towers with a large pool and bar between them. We spent the afternoon loafing by the pool. We got some beers and a local dish while watching a storm roll in. Eventually the rain came and we had to rush up to our room. The weather let up a little and we headed back to the KLCC park to jog around the trail. The jog was fun and got us out of the apartment. The rain looked like it was coming back, so we scampered back to the room and watched a couple Mission Impossible movies and ordered room service. Not a horrible day.  

Day 8 – Kuala Lumpur – February 14

We intended to wake up early, but the morning was pretty overcast and lent itself to sleeping in. Around 10 am we headed to the tram and made our way towards the southern end of the city into the suburbs. We were going to hike a park called Bukit Gasing Forest Park that was recommended to us by the youths at the rock gym. They warned it was a lot of steps and the unlabeled trails can be confusing.

As we walked in, a large group of middle-aged tourists were heading out. The trail is very popular in the morning before the heat sets in. We took a picture of the map and the various trails then headed in, thinking we had it under control. It didn’t take long for us to find some stairs and get very sweaty. Our intention was to stay on the blue trail, which is the longest, and runs the perimeter of the park. We met some other hikers along the way, walking the opposite direction and they reported getting lost and ending up in a completely different park. We were still confident that wouldn’t happen to us. The foliage was pretty thick it didn’t lend to great views, but it was still fun to be in the woods exploring nature.

About halfway along the blue trail, thinking we were still firmly on track, we found a family of monkeys. They were jumping through all the trees and knocking, or maybe throwing, loose branches down along us. We followed their cries along the trail and ended up at a long cable bridge that wasn’t really all that high off the ground. The bridge was clearly the monkeys’ hideout and we watched for a while as they chased each other around.

Next, we found a section of the park that looked like it had half constructed tables and would be a nice picnic place. We headed back into the woods to finish our loop and visit the temple marked on the map at the end.  Following the sparse signs, comparing the two maps we had, we confidently headed in circles and ended up at our second crossroads.  Eventually we just went out the first exit we could find; we fell victim to the horribly marked park.  After wandering along a highway in a seedier part of town, we tried to get on the train, but were told we needed a prepaid card to board.  So we ordered a Grab and headed to lunch at a Chinese outdoor market, again recommended by the kids at the climbing gym.  Halfway to our destination, our Grab’s A/C went out. Minor inconvenience for us since we only had 5 more minutes to our destination, but she was understandably distraught and overly apologetic.  Upon arrival, we found an open-air hall filled with plastic tables surrounding rows of small booths where groups of two or three people were preparing food. Ryan took the lead, finding us some food and drinks. We ate the recommended beef broth soup and some noodle dish, we’re not really sure what anything was, but it was delicious and ridiculously cheap.

We grabbed the train home and decided to hit the gym work out since we were already sweaty. It began pouring rain, so we were trapped for a bit waiting for the weather to clear up. It was Valentine’s Day, in typical fashion we both kind of forgot, but we grabbed the train to head back to Buckit Bintang to check out the bar street. The whole street was decorated for the occasion, and it was clearly where all the Westerners hung out.  Immediately the bars were battling for our attention, shouting out their deals, comparing them to their neighbors next door.  Our first stop was called Kill Devil and we drank some beers and ate a few tapas. They were playing a rerun of the Miss America pageant from years ago.  Next, we were harassed again into Gypsy Wine and Bar for more Tiger beer and enjoyed sitting right on the street people-watching. Another bar offered us free pool so we bought drinks then they tried to charge us for pool, they wanted less than a dollar to play, but Ryan said it was the principle of the matter and wouldn’t play.  Our last stop was an Irish bar called Healy Mac, so Ryan got some Irish food and a Guinness. We walked the 20 minutes home and promptly fell to sleep.

Day 9 – Kuala Lumpur – February 15

We had a lazy start to the day and didn’t leave the hotel until lunch.  Our climbing acquaintances recommended another park where we could hike around a waterfall and swim in the ponds around it, so that’s what we intended to do. We stopped for lunch at another Chinese restaurant/food stall area, also per their suggestion. We ate more pork broth and noodles and Ryan was again in heaven. When Ryan ordered at the stall, we always wondered how they would find Elizabeth at the tables, but then we realized it was incredibly easy: she was the only redhead there.  As we ate, we noticed some storm clouds blowing in across the horizon, in the direction of the waterfall. We decided to abandon our plans and head back to the hotel. The storm wasn’t that far south, so we could laze in the pool and watch it in the distance.

We drank beer and ate ice cream and eventually the storm crept south and it began to pour rain. We threw on our gym clothes and burned some calories waiting for it to pass. That night, we walked around looking for food and drink.  Elizabeth had her heart set on finding a roti canai stall where they sell delicious flatbreads with different ‘flavors’; unfortunately, they were all closed. Where a stall was supposed to be, we found a street food area with a number of stalls and picnic tables, so we ordered various chicken dishes and some tea. It was delicious and made the pain of not finding roti more bearable.

We popped into a mall for some bubble tea, to fuel our addiction, and we accidently ordered a bubble coffee. Elizabeth thought was disgusting, but Ryan quite liked it.  Not fully satisfied, Elizabeth found a promising night food market with maybe a roti stall about a 15-minute walk away, so we set out on a hunt. The night market was alive and it was definitely a locals only spot with tons of families eating at plastic tables and chairs. The roti stand was also closed but Elizabeth enjoyed stretching her legs. We didn’t find anything that we thought we needed to try, so we walked back to the hotel and went to bed.

Day 10 – Kuala Lumpur – February 16

We were up before the sunrise at 7 and walked about 30 minutes to the closest Catholic church. Some roads were closed to get there, so it was a little tricky to find the way to the door. The mass was in English which was a nice surprise. The church was wooden and white and there were fans all along the walls; it was a hot service. People were wearing masks for the Covid-19 outbreak and we skipped the sign of peace. After mass we walked back to the hotel and packed our bags so we could be ready to leave for the airport a few hours later.

We grabbed a Grab and headed towards Chinatown; our only big tourist attraction left in the city. We walked around all the open markets and street vendors and it smelled like delicious Chinese food everywhere. Ryan found a local restaurant lunch. We ate some sort of duck and chicken dishes, both were delicious. We walked around some more after lunch and saw a big, beautiful Hindu temple before looking heading toward the train station.

We enjoyed a final bubble tea waiting on the train ride back to our hotel. We hope Thailand has a strong bubble tea game; we are kind of addicted now. After getting our bags and checking out we took a Grab 45 minutes to the airport. We hung out in the lounge and stocked up on more Vitamin C pills to keep us healthy. Finally we boarded our flight to Thailand at 1:55 vowing to return to Malaysia one day.

Things we learned in Malaysia:

  1. Bubble tea is life.
  2. We want to return to experience the highlands and other areas of the country.
  3. There were very few street hawkers or people aggressively trying to sell you things, a nice change of pace.

United Arab Emirates

Day 1 – Dubai – January 29

After a rough night of sleep, we woke up flying over a vast expanse of sand dunes.  This is one part of the trip Ryan will always relish, just how easy it is to travel from one climatic zone to another.  We landed in Dubai around 7 am and began our unexpectedly long walk towards immigration. Once we got to the immigration counters, it was a breeze to get through, the clerk didn’t ask us a single question; and now we are in the system, so if we ever come back, we don’t even have to see an agent. After collecting our bags, we grabbed an Uber and headed to our Airbnb. We were able to check in so early because we were stuck paying for the night before.

On our drive we went through the city and saw the Burj Khalifa for the first time, the tallest building in the world. We also felt like we were back in America. We passed so many of our fast food chains, P.F. Chang’s, Red Lobster, etc., and of course a million Starbucks.  Upon arrival, we were greeted by a nice Kenyan woman named Beatrice who was almost too helpful.  We immediately started some laundry and took naps. Finally, around 1 pm we got up and walked towards the nearby beach area called Le Mar.

The beach is only about a five-minute walk from our house. Our first stop was obviously Five Guys for a little taste of home. Again, we passed several American restaurants on the boardwalk and it was quite fancy and modern. You can just tell this country has plenty of money and the facilities are pristine. We ate our burgers, fries and shakes enjoying every bite.

Next, we walked up towards the Jumeriah Mosque, the grand mosque of Dubai. We only walked around the outside of the complex, but it was beautiful to see. The grand spirals were strongly reminiscent of the mosques we’d seen in Morocco and Istanbul.

We continued walking along the beach back towards the house, and tried to stop at a bar for a drink. As soon as we sat down, we realized they cost about $15 USD a pop, so we hightailed it out of there; the United Arab Emirates is a bit more expensive than Africa. On the way home we had a great view of the skyline and could see all the gorgeous buildings in downtown and their varying architectures. We were lazy that night and ate our last bag of microwave popcorn as we watched Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Tom Cruise climb the Burj Khalifa.

Day 2 – Dubai – January 30

We woke up the next morning and Elizabeth went for a jog along the beach. They have a designated track covered in rubber and was wonderful on the joints. She saw there were a bunch of people out and that you’re allowed to wear western beachwear (bikinis, etc.) on the beach, but only the beach. After we showered and did our best to be healthy, we hopped in an Uber to the Dubai Mall.

We were dropped off at the high-end shopping area of the mall and were greeted with free coffee and a grand entrance. After passing the Coach, Prada, Fendi, etc. shops we headed for the main attraction: the food court. The mall is huge with at least 4 floors. It took us a while to find the food court, but when we finally arrived, it did not disappoint. They had a ton of American fast food chains and ice cream parlors. Ryan was excited to see a Church’s Chicken, called Texas Chicken here (you can’t hide that logo), but his jaw dropped when he laid eyes on Raising Cane’s. We split the Caniac, just like old days, and sat along the balcony looking over the ice rink.

After lunch, we wandered through the mall checking out the showtimes at the movie theater and the large aquarium wall. We went into a ton of shops. Eventually Ryan found a shirt from Banana Republic and Elizabeth a new dress. We washed down our efforts with a bubble tea – incredible.  The mall has so many cool sculptures and art, one of our favorite’s being a large indoor waterfall with metal statues of men diving down.

Several hours later we found ourselves hungry and back at the food court. Ryan got Texas Chicken, spicy fried chicken with a biscuit, fries and coleslaw. It was also pretty good and just the taste of home we’d been looking for. We decided to see the new Star Wars movie and Elizabeth had been saving herself for the concession stands. They had regular popcorn, caramel, cheddar, popcorn with spicy Cheetos, you name it! We settled for cheddar and crispy M&Ms. We nestled into our seats, and enjoyed watching Star Wars with Arabic subtitles. They didn’t edit any of the movie for violence or language like we thought they would. Overall the movie was quite disappointing, but it was still nice to be in a cold theater eating popcorn.

When it was over, we walked around to the other side of the mall where they have a virtual reality arcade, haunted house, and several other attractions. It took us a while to figure out how to exit the mall, but eventually we found ourselves outside on the “lake” overlooking the Burj Khalifa. The Burj Khalifa was lit up and showing a video of an animation of a man breakdancing on the outside. We got lucky with our timing and walked out right in time for the fountain show. It felt like we were in Vegas watching the lights and water move with the music. As we walked along the boardwalk of the lake near the Burj Khalifa we passed, in a row, a Texas Road House, Red Lobster, California Pizza Kitchen, and a P.F. Chang’s – this place really is a mini-America. We Ubered home and slept well after a whole day of walking around the mall.

Day 3 – Dubai – January 31

Early the next morning Elizabeth got up to jog along the beach path again. There were even more people on this Friday morning.  Similar to Israel, the UAE follows a Sunday to Thursday work week since the Muslim holy day is on Friday, so it was essentially Saturday morning. After collecting Ryan, we walked to breakfast called The Coffee Club. Things were a little expensive, but we got a bizarre brunch of chai pudding, Japanese curry, and spicy French fries. Everything tasted delicious.

Next, we went to Sharjah, the emirate to the north of Dubai, about 40 minutes away. We were meeting Elizabeth’s extended cousin from Ireland, Sara, who was playing in an all-day Camogie tournament. Sara is a teacher in Qatar and her team travels around the area to play other Irish expatriates. We found the field and felt like we were at a children’s all-day soccer tournament.  Like all good parents, we sat in the hot sun, cheered them on, and drank beer. Apparently, Sharjah is a completely dry emirate, except for the Irish competitions. We drank our beers and sat on the sidelines chatting with her and her teammates and learning about hurling and camogie. Sara’s team won the tournament and we got food and more drinks at the club lounge after.

We Ubered back to our Airbnb to change and planned to meet up with her team again for brunch that evening. This caused a lot of confusion in the discussion because we all correctly know that brunch means a meal between breakfast and lunch. In Dubai, it means all you can eat and drink and lasts all afternoon into the evening. We met them at Mr. Miyagi’s a restaurant and bar in a hotel in the marina area right by the large manmade palm tree islands. Mr. Miyagi’s was an eclectic place full of little people, karaoke, poor Asian food, and sugary drinks. We got there late and had only an hour left for the all you can eat and drink, so we immediately started putting them away.

Unfortunately, their staff service wasn’t ideal and it took forever to get anything we ordered. We chatted with management and they gave us a couple extra drinks, but it didn’t make it worth the cost at the end. Ryan and I were sober still, but the Irish people were doing what they do best. We moved into the bar area next to dance and finish our drinks. The other Irish men loved Ryan and everyone is obsessed with his giant beard. Around midnight we finished our drinks and went to the bar for more. A small beer cost $10, luckily Sara was ready for bed, so we made the decision to leave the other Irish partiers and head home. It was only a quick meetup, but we were glad to see each other again and had fun, as we always do, partying with the Irish.

Day 4 – Dubai – February 1

The next morning, we slept in; all those sugary drinks made us feel slightly hungover. Finally, we were hungry and had no choice but to go back to the mall and the giant food court. We Ubered over and made the long walk to the food. Ryan, again, ate Raising Cane’s and Elizabeth got a döner kebab from a German fast food restaurant. The food almost brought us back to life, but we had to get some Cold Stone afterwards to finish the job. Ryan always wants mini marshmallows in his chocolate ice cream and was delighted they had them.

We took our ice cream outside to walk around the lake and see the Burj Khalifa during the daylight. Again, our timing was perfect for the water show. We walked around the souk shops, another mall area next door, then Ubered home.  We spent the afternoon watching Netflix and relaxing. For dinner that night, we walked to a Japanese street food restaurant which actually tasted pretty authentic. Then we stumbled into a grocery store to buy more hand sanitizer and accidently left with milk and Oreos. 

Day 5 – Abu Dhabi – February 2

Today is our last day in Dubai. We packed our bags at the Airbnb and took an uber over to the metro station so we could get bus and metro cards to take us Abu Dhabi. The public transportation system in Dubai is pretty good and we should have gotten our cards at the beginning of the trip to save on Uber costs. We hopped on the red line towards St. Mary’s Church. St. Mary’s is known as the largest parish in the world and has mass every hour on Sundays from like 7 am to 7 pm. Mass is offered in at least 5 different languages and we were able to find an English one. The church was packed and probably held a couple thousand people. It was a very diverse group with Indian women in traditional saris sitting by men from Africa and white westerners.

After mass we hopped back on the metro and headed in the direction of the Gold Souks and old Dubai. We were very hungry and decided to try some traditional Emirati food at a restaurant called Al Bait Al Qadeem Emirati Heritage Restaurant. We ordered chicken and rice, tea, and lamb stew. The food was pretty good, but not super unique compared to other Middle Eastern food. We were able to sit outside and, of course, were kept company by a cat.

After lunch we headed into the souk. Ryan had a theory that since the UAE is well-off and people had been very welcoming but not pushy, it was going to be very relaxed and not full of hawkers. He couldn’t have been more wrong. These were the most aggressive salesmen we’ve ever seen. They went as far as trying to wrap scarves around Ryan and he had to fight them off. Needless to say, we didn’t wander around for very long, but if you need a wristwatch there are plenty of men trying to sell them to you.

The rest of the evening we would classify as riding public transportation around Dubai. We had a few more hours until our bus so Elizabeth had us try to get off at the famous large picture frame statue, but they wanted money to go into the park. We do not pay for parks in this family. So next we rode the bus back towards the beach and she directed us off at the wrong stop. By the time we got towards the house, we had to run to grab our bags and make it back to the main bus station.

The train to Abu Dhabi was 2 hours long and on a large charter bus, so we could store our bags underneath. When we arrived, it was dark and our friend Nick picked us up from the bus station. Nick works for another oil and gas company and was moved to Abu Dhabi in September. His wife, Ashley, works for Exxon and they found her a position over here so she could join him. Their house is huge, though still the smallest they could find, and on a western compound. They don’t have a lot of their belonging yet, in fact Ashley just officially moved on February 1. They made us a spaghetti dinner and we lounged around catching up. 

Day 6 – Abu Dhabi – February 3

Unfortunately, both Nick and Ashely had to work all week, so we were on our own during the day and could hang out in the evenings. Their compound is great. It’s a gated community full of expatriates and has a pool gym and a little mall facility and outdoor shopping restaurant center not five minutes away by foot. We spent the morning at their gym complex, trying to regain a little muscle, then went to the Lebanese restaurant for lunch called Zaytinya Restaurant. The food wasn’t too expensive and we ate delicious humus, a lamb wrap, and something called monoushe which is like cheesy bread – it was in the pizza section.

After lunch we Ubered over to the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque. This mosque is the largest in the country and can hold up to 41,000 worshippers. It’s a stunning structure of white marble and gilded domes. We got dropped off and walked towards a giant glass egg. The visit is free, but they take you via an underground tunnel to get to the mosque. On the way you pass through a small mall center with food and shops, then into the museum of Islamic coins, finally you fill out a questionnaire about where you’re from and are given a ticket with a QR code, then finally you’re checked to see if you’re appropriately dressed to enter the mosque.

We both wore pants, and Elizabeth a long shirt and scarf on her head so she didn’t have to rent a robe with a hood, but it’s nice that have that option for tourists. The mosque was grand with gorgeous flower tiles along the pillars, considered the largest marble mosaic in the world. It wasn’t too crowded but all these Instagram people were getting annoying to try to look around. A few couples tried to take pictures with their arms around each other and were told to stop by the guards. The mosque is fairly new, was constructed between 1996 and 2007 and the architect was Syrian.

We walked all along the outside of the complex then were able to see the inside area of worship. They had beautiful chandeliers made by Faustig, the famous German chandelier company. The chandeliers were massive with at least three in the large prayer room and several others hung in the chambers on the outside. The mosque was designed to bring together all the different cultures of Islam and had architecture and materials from countries like Morocco, Egypt, India, etc. We also loved the large clocks that showed the 5 prayer times a day.

After walking around for about an hour enjoying the beautiful grounds, we walked back through the tunnel and caught an Uber towards home. We wanted to surprise Nick and Ashley and say thanks by buying them some beer. It can be complicated to buy alcohol in Muslim countries. They were telling us how they had to apply for a liquor purchase permit and they are only allowed to buy a certain amount per month, and so on.  We found a liquor store and got a 24 pack of Indian beer called Kingfisher Strong for around $22. Not a bad deal; apparently you are free to buy alcohol if you’re a tourist.  We’re not really sure because they didn’t ask us a single question as we checked out.  Also, our Uber drive took the initiative to stay in the parking lot to then accept our next request to drive home. 

That night we drank our cheap Indian beers and walked to the restaurant area near their house. We ate at a restaurant that is both Italian and Japanese.  Everyone ended up ordering Italian, but what a strange combination. After dinner, we drank more beers and caught up more on life before Nick and Ashley had to get ready for work the next day.

Day 7 – Abu Dhabi – February 4

Again, we were lazy waking up, but headed to their gym to continue the search for our muscles. We decided about halfway through to head to the rock-climbing gym called Clymb Abu Dhabi. The gym was about 30 minutes away so we grabbed an Uber and headed over. Like all things, it was located in a giant mall. It’s on Yas Island, which is home to water parks, Ferrari World Amusement Park, the climbing gym, indoor skydiving center, and so much more.

We checked in and got our gear. We had to go through a pretty extensive skill check to prove we could top rope and lead climb. They even made us climb up 20 feet and fall, so the other person could practice catching – always slightly scary. After passing our tests, we climbed for a while then went to the café for lunch. We ate pretty delicious over-priced sandwiches. After a short break, it was time to head back to climbing. After a few more routes we decided to attempt the big wall. They have the largest indoor climbing wall in the world, called The Summyt at 138 feet. Its lead climbing, so you have to bring the rope up with you from the ground and clip it in as you climb. This always adds extra mental and physical elements, because when you fall you can fall about 10 feet down and potentially slam into the wall. We both made it about 2/3 of the way up, then the wall becomes an overhang and we didn’t have the arm muscle to make it to the top.

We headed back to Nick and Ashley’s where everyone but Ryan decided to eat leftovers, while he picked up some Thai food from the food area. Nick is busy overseeing the drilling of a well, so he had to stay up later that night. We kept him company drinking more Kingfisher beer and watching YouTube.

Day 8 – Abu Dhabi – February 5

Again, we started our day at the gym. Afterwards Ryan rewarded himself with doughnuts from Tim Hortons – he hasn’t had doughnut in so long. Just to reiterate, this place is mini America, except drier and woman don’t have quite as many rights. After showering and doing some last-minute laundry, we took an Uber to downtown Abu Dhabi. We decided to eat lunch at an overpriced Irish pub, but it was nice to have a cold pint and bar food. We ate curry French fries, fish and chips, and a giant pretzel.

To burn off some calories, we walked along the beach and enjoyed the views of the city and the beach walk. We first found an entrance to a private section for $1, but walked the extra 10 minutes to the free entrance.  On the beach lots of people were sunbathing and swimming, which we didn’t expect since it’s winter here. Nick heard from coworkers that in the summer the beach is unbearable and the water too warm to cool you off. We picked up more beer, Red Horse, another strong beer, this one from the Philippines to say thank you.

For dinner that night we went to the local fish market. We walked through the market where everyone tried to sell us the same 5 things.  In front of the market is a string of restaurants, more or less all selling the same thing, with hawkers trying to get you into their shop.  After walking by a few we were convinced into sitting down at one. The girls got shrimp in some sort of spicy mayonnaise sauce and the boys got huge cuts of fish. They grilled the fish bone in with all the seasoning so it was a struggle to keep the seasoning on the meat when cutting it up.

The food was delicious and we spent the rest of our final night drinking beer and hanging out. Ryan had a moral/cultural trial when he observed a father slap his young daughter across the face. We learned from Nick and Ashley that the Emirati culture strongly believes in saving face, which basically comes down to not speaking out against another person (or getting upset for their actions). Its been incredible to travel and see different cultures, but can be very challenging to figure out when to speak up and let things lie that you don’t agree with. Ryan let it lie with the encouragement of the group, but it made all of us more grateful for our upbringings and opportunities.

Day 9 – Abu Dhabi – February 6

We had to catch the 6 am bus back to Dubai, so we called an Uber to the bus station and said good-bye to Nick and Ashley at 5:30. It’s always so nice to see people on our trip and we are so glad we were able to meet up with them. The bus was freezing cold, but we managed to sleep for a couple hours on our way to the metro station. We got off the bus, then had to take the metro to the airport. The check-in and security process again went smoothly and we were in the lounge enjoying our free breakfast with plenty of time to spare.

Our first flight, flying on an Indian airline called Indigo, was four hours to Bangalore in India. The flight and landing were rather bumpy and the business man next to us was clearly a nervous flier.  We landed and were trapped with a few other passengers on connecting international flights. You have to pay a visa fee to enter India and go through immigration, so we had to wait for a staff member to take us through a separate security. We made it with enough time to pop into another lounge for dinner and Indian food. Elizabeth gorged herself on airport buffet Indian food and loved it. We washed them down with Kingfisher beers and were on our next flight to Kuala Lumpur. We really enjoyed our time in the United Arab Emirates. If you ever want to experience Muslim culture, but not stray too far from westernization this is definitely the place to go.  Also, it’s beautiful.

Things we learned in the United Arab Emirates:

  1. They don’t like to call it the Persian Gulf, they prefer Arabian Gulf.
  2. There are 9.5 million people in the UAE and only 11% are Emirati. Indians make up the highest percentage of expatriates. 

Zanzibar, Tanzania

Day 1 – Stone Town – January 14

The flight was fairly smooth from Johannesburg and lasted about 3.5 hours. For some reason, the tickets we purchased gave us 70 rand of in-flight food, so we stocked up on granola bars and Ryan got sparkling wine and pringles at 7:30 am in the morning. We’d heard a lot about Zanzibar, including the challenges of getting visas on arrival and a plastic bag ban, where they went through your luggage to find and remove them. The flight attendants also announced the ban and asked people to deliver their duty-free bags. Everything went smoothly though. Since we are Americans our visa cost is $100 per person vs. the rest the world’s $50 price tag. After coughing up the money we made it through quite easily, then collected our bags and headed for the customs scanner. None of our plastic bags, holding shoes, toiletries, etc. were detected and we found our preordered cab waiting for us outside.

It was just a 15-minute drive into the old town center of Zanzibar City called Stone Town. We are staying at a hostel called Balcony House for our first three nights here. Our room is small, but private with air conditioning, so we are happy. It’s very humid here and over 90 degrees during the heat of the day. After a brief rest we got up to wander the old town. It’s been months (last time was in Istanbul) since we were in a walkable city. We weaved our way through the narrow winding streets and along the coast.

We came upon the large cathedral by accident as it rose up in the middle of the old town. The vast majority of the island is Muslim, whereas the mainland of Tanzania is predominantly Christian.

Tourism is the life blood of this island and we’ve found all the people to be polite and friendly, even after you’ve rejected those trying to sell you something. On the beach Ryan was called out several times (Mr. Beard! Mr. Beard!) as people tried to haggle for snorkeling and boat prices. They speak Swahili here so we get to say hakuna mata and jambo. We wandered more through the old town stopping by the Old Fort and through several narrow streets of shops. Finally, it was late afternoon and hot, we settled down at a café in the Old Fort and enjoyed drinking this country’s beers. The beers are giant and only $2, so we tried both the Kilimanjaro and the Safari lagers.

We wandered a little longer then went back to the hostel for a quick nap, as we’d been up since 4 am to catch our flight. Around 6:30 we rallied and headed to a beach bar called Livingstone Beach Restaurant to grab happy hour drinks; Elizabeth refuses to drink a beer for more than $2, just on principle. We were happy to see that the tide had come in and was practically lapping the table legs in front of the restaurant. We sat outside enjoying the comparatively cool night air and more giant Kilimanjaro beers.

Next, fueled by beer and a growing hunger, we went to Forodhani Gardens to try out the famous Stone Town Night Market. Every night after dark the park comes alive with locals and tourists alike visiting the various vendors peddling their skewers of meat and fish, roti, cooked vegetables, samosas, durums, and Zanzibar pizzas.  Cooks or “captains” were quick to swarm us and offered take us to their table where they explain what they have for sale. After perusing few captains’ stalls, we settled on food from Captain Jimmy.  He again affectionately referred to Ryan as Mr. Beard and Elizabeth as the Queen.  We ate a vegetable samosa, chicken gizzard kebab (obviously for Ryan), French fries and a freshly squeezed sugar cane drink to wash it down. The food was pretty good, but more importantly it was dirt cheap.

Next, we ate a Zanzibar pizza. The man stretched out a thin layer of dough then piled in ground beef, vegetables, cheese, mayonnaise, a raw egg, and sliced chili. He then mixed it all up and threw it on the grill. He occasionally flipped it to cook it on both sides then cut it up and we ate it out of a metal tin. It was phenomenal.  A little too spicy for Elizabeth, but Ryan could have eaten three! There were stray cats everywhere trying to get a bite. We were pretty tired and headed back to our hostel to shower and go to bed. We weren’t home more than 30 minutes before a giant storm blew through bringing pouring rain and strong winds; hopefully the vendors packed up in time.

Day 2 – Stone Town – January 15

We’d made plans to join the snorkel tour at 9 am the next morning. Around 7 it began pouring and didn’t stop for hours. Luckily, we have plenty of time here, so we stayed in bed listening to the rain on the tin roof. Eventually, the rain died down around lunch time and we walked into town to go to a restaurant called Lazuli Café. We arrived just as it opened and the man behind the counter was very shy and didn’t speak much English. Their menu was full of hilarious English misspelling but said, essentially, on the front cover they use good ingredients and take our time, if you’re in a hurry we’ll try to accommodate you. We were in for a long lunch.

We each ordered a fresh smoothie, Elizabeth with peanut butter, banana and honey and Ryan with pineapple, mango and passionfruit. About halfway through our smoothies, another man arrived, speaking much better English with a certifiably congenial personality, who must normally run the front of the house. He talked to us for about an hour nonstop while our food was being prepared. He loves Chris Tucker, and says he likes to talk a lot, just like Chris Tucker, then shared every Rush Hour quote he knew.  He let us know he’d never left Zanzibar, not even for the mainland of Tanzania. He explained things are cheaper on the mainland, but it’s harder to make money.

Eventually our food came out, for Elizabeth, a hummus and avocado wrap, and Ryan, a fish curry wrap. The food was absolutely worth the wait and the curry was some of the best we’d ever had.  Considering it’s been our unofficial life goal to try every curry we can get our tongues on, that’s saying something. Zanzibar is such a unique culinary mix of Asian, Indian, and mainland African.  Ryan gorged himself.  On the walk back we stopped by the beach to see about more snorkeling opportunities. We negotiated to go at 3 pm for $25 USD.  With our tour package we get to see the tortoises on Prison Island then snorkel for a bit. We had just enough time to go home, change, and digest our full bellies for a while.

We made it to the beach and collected our snorkel gear, clearly nothing is ever washed, so hopefully we don’t catch something from the mouthpiece, then loaded onto an old rickety boat. The boat had a small motor and it took us 25 minutes to cross the water to the island 5.6 km away. The ride was a bit rough, with water coming up to and over the edge of the boat as we careened between the waves.

Thankfully, we arrived in one piece and jumped out into ankle deep water towards the sandy beach around the island, formally named Changuu Island. This island has had a long history, most recently serving as a prison for unruly slaves in the 1860s, then as a coral mine, then purchased by the British in 1893 and built up as a proper prison, but no inmates ever made it ashore, only yellow fever victims. Currently, the quarantine facilities have been converted to guest cottages with pools and tennis facilities; the main draw though, is the giant tortoises.

In 1919 the British governor of the Seychelles sent 4 Aldabra tortoises as a gift. As their numbers grew, so did others’ desire to have them as pets, thus people began stealing and selling the tortoises almost to extinction.  A clutch of the tortoises was moved to the island where they could be watched more carefully.  The island is now a conservatory for these turtles and other large tortoises are brought here to be cared for. We ended up following a guide, although we’re not sure how he got with our boat, around the prison area with the old cells that held yellow fever victims.  Eventually we made it to the tortoises. Their conditions didn’t seem to be as clean or nice as we would have liked, but for all we know their small, muddy forest may be their ideal habitat. The turtles have their ages spray painted on their backs and we saw them ranging from 30-130, though how much fidelity is in the number we aren’t convinced. The tortoises are slow and lazy. You can pick up lettuce or leaves and they reach out to eat. You can also pet them and leave the trail to find them out in the woods. We spent about 40 minutes with the tortoises before heading back to the beach.

The wind had picked back up and there were lots of white caps out in the ocean. Our boat driver just took us out to the reef for 45 minutes of snorkeling. We jumped in and the water felt amazing. The waves continued to grow and eventually we couldn’t breathe without getting water in our snorkel with every wave. It was a good work out and we saw lots of corals and urchins and fish.

Finally, we loaded back on the boat and headed back the 25 minutes to Stone Town. The boat was rocking, but since we were already wet the spray wasn’t too annoying. Back home we ran back to the hostel to shower and change then headed to the Silk Route for dinner. We ate on the third floor near a large open window. We were both still pretty stuffed from lunch, but ordered Kilimanjaro beers, shrimp biryani and more fish curry with naan. We were disappointed in our food, having had such amazing fish curry for lunch.  What can you do you? After finishing up, we hustled home and had enjoyed a peaceful night’s rest.

Day 3 – Stone Town – January 16

The next morning was incessant rain again. This time it didn’t let up until the early afternoon, so we took this opportunity to lay in bed reading. Finally, hunger inspired us to start the day and luckily the rain let up enough for us to walk dry.  We went to a restaurant a few blocks away called Six Degrees South Zanzibar, we’re assuming because maybe Zanzibar is six degrees south of the equator.  We got some new beers called Serengeti and Ndovu and ate a chicken coconut wrap and a fish burger. Elizabeth got plantain fries with her wrap and she claims they were the best French fries she’d ever had.

We walked around for a bit after eating, exploring the old town and its winding roads some more. On the main drag you pass the Freddy Mercury House. We didn’t know this before arriving, but he was born in Stone Town. He attended boarding school in India and returned to Zanzibar for a year before his family fled to the UK during the revolution.  

After a few hours the sun began to set and we knew happy hour was beginning. We picked a bar called Tatu and sat on the second story balcony looking over a park in front of the ocean. People were exercising and a few men were practicing a Brazilian dance fighting called, capoeira. We’d read they perform sometimes at sunset for the tourists. We drank more Kilimanjaro, our favorite local beer and enjoyed the sights. We even drank a brand of water called Kilimanjaro. The building looked like it was being held together with plaster and a lot of the “scaffolding/reinforcements” here are just huge beams haphazardly leaning against the building.

After it got dark, we wandered back to the night food market to get another Zanzibar pizza. Along the way we were chatted to by local taxi drivers trying to get some money and people offering to sell us marijuana. Elizabeth thinks its Ryan’s beard, but he gets offered drugs every day.  Deciding to try a different stall this time, we grabbed our pizza and walked home. It was again delicious, and Elizabeth thought better than the first one, though this time instead of fresh chilies they used a chili vinegar sauce like Tabasco.  

Day 4 – Bwejuu – January 17

We were switching hotels today so we lounged until around 8:30 then packed up and left our bags in the lobby to collect later. We headed for a place called Zanzibar Coffee House, which we’d read had the best coffee and pastries. Our route took us deep into the narrow streets of Stone Town and we had flashbacks of being in Morocco and trying to navigate. Eventually we found the shop, which is also a hotel and ordered an iced cappuccino, americano, banana bread, and cinnamon roll. The banana bread was incredible, and warm. Elizabeth couldn’t get the sugar to mix into her iced coffee so Ryan was a good husband and switched her. We grabbed a table right at the open window and watched people go about their lives along the street.

After breakfast we decided to wander through town doing some window shopping.  Hoping to find a good deal since somewhere in the past couple countries, Elizabeth lost her gray travel skirt; we really have no idea when or where. Our first stop was called Jaws Corner. This is a local hangout where Zanzibari men grab their coffee in the morning.  Per their namesake, they have a big mural of a great white on the wall.

We wove in and out of the streets. We stopped in a few shops and bartered with the owners over skirt costs. We found one we liked but decided to keep looking, though by the time Elizabeth decided that one was her favorite we had no idea how to find the shop again. The streets of Stone Town are fun to wander through and enjoy their various scaffolding work. We wandered back to the coast and drank a cool water in the shade. Our taxi was coming to transport us to the eastern side of the island at 1 o’clock so we headed back to the hostel to relax on the patio.

We spent some time talking to the owner, who is Danish, and found out her husband is from Zanzibar. They split their time between the two countries and told us Madsen is a very common name in Denmark; we’d fit right in there. Her cute son, maybe a year old, had been running around the hostel playing the whole time we were there. Finally, our taxi arrived and we said good-bye.

Our taxi driver is a civil engineer for the government. He said his salary is only $200 a month so he has to drive a taxi for additional income. He is hoping to get accepted into a master’s program somewhere abroad and make more money, maybe even moving to America. He asked Ryan to play him some American music through his car Bluetooth so we listened to Bryce Vine and some country on our 1.5-hour drive. The roads in Zanzibar are some of the worst we’ve ever encountered. Pot holes were everywhere.  Off the ‘highways’ the roads are usually just uneven rock.  Traffic is utter chaos. By the time we arrived at the road to the hotel we had to drive his small car through giant ponds of water and ridiculous terrain. We’re surprised we made it.

We checked into our first beach hotel called Indigo Beach and were shown to a beachfront room. We’d only paid for the garden budget room, so this was a nice surprise. He said tomorrow we were moving to a suite, so we’ll see what that looks like. Ryan was starving but the hotel had just stopped serving lunch, so we dropped our bags and began walking down the beach to find a restaurant. The tide was out and we could see waves breaking about a quarter mile off shore. Apparently, the tide rises right up next to the beach and we were excited to watch it come in. the beach was pretty clean, but had the occasional piece of glass or ceramic that made us nervous to go without shoes.

We settled for a restaurant called Leo Bar and Restaurant. It was pretty empty and we sat outside under a huge thatched hut drinking Kilimanjaro beer. We ordered fish and chicken curries which took about 45 minutes to make. It was nice to know it was all being freshly made, but dang we were hungry. Ultimately, the food was delicious and well worth the wait. On the walk back up to our hotel we saw a ton of cows on the beach and women and children digging for something out in the tide pools.

We headed over to the common area of the pool to use the Wi-Fi and work on future trip planning. We got a few more Kilimanjaro’s and enjoyed the common space until the mosquitos became unbearable. We ran back to our front porch where the winds were strong and the mosquitos had disappeared. A staff member came by to spray our room for bugs and light a citronella candle on the floor. We didn’t have A/C, but the ocean breeze through the windows and the giant fan made for pleasant sleeping. Don’t worry we had a huge mosquito net canopy.

Day 5 – Bwejuu – January 18

We were up early with the sun and walked over to enjoy our free breakfast around 7:30. We were pleasantly surprised to find not only eggs and bacon options, but an assortment of breads, pastries, and fresh juices. We are still trying to shake off some of the South Africa weight and save money, so the plan is to gorge at breakfast, as healthily as possible, then hold off for a late lunch early dinner. We found a spot under a canopy and began the important task of lounging in the lawn chairs. It was a pretty overcast day, but still quite warm, so the sun only beat down intermittently. The pool also felt wonderfully refreshing so we spent the first few hours in the morning reading and swimming.

Around noon we got our first drink of the day, Ryan a beer and Elizabeth the cocktail of the day: vodka, blue curacao and lime juice.  Before too long, but still longer than Ryan would have guessed, stir-crazy Elizabeth had to get up and walk the beach. She headed north along the water’s edge. The seashells here are amazing, plentiful, unbroken, colorful and huge. She was only approached by people trying to sell her things a few times on the beach. It’s hard to deal with because you can’t be frustrated at these people for trying to support their families, but you know you don’t want to drive a scooter up and down the beach, and you especially don’t want to do it for $40 a day.  Ryan’s technique is to lowball them and see if they’ll take his offer. Elizabeth either claims to have done it, say we are leaving tomorrow, or only speak Spanish.

Back at the hotel we were beginning to feel peckish, it was late afternoon after all. We needed to find an ATM to take out more cash and knew we needed to walk about 4 km into town to find one. We luckily stayed near one, but we didn’t realize until after leaving Stone Town that there are only 3 other ATMs on the whole island, and most places only take cash. To top it off, the value of their money is quite inflated, currently trading at 1 USD for 2300 shillings and their largest bill is 10,000.  So, to take out enough money for the next few days we knew we’d need a huge wad of cash, which Ryan wasn’t looking forward to carrying around. In these countries, his wallet’s too stuffed to close.

We began our walk down to Paje following the kite or wind surfers in the distance. It took us about 45 minutes to get to the edge of town. We thought the horrible and flooded road we had to take to get to our hotel was unique, but all roads leading from the beach to the main road are horrible and flooded. We weaved our way through poor residential areas for an additional 10 minutes trying to find the ATM machine. When we got there the guard outside told us no, we had to use the ATM at the petrol station another kilometer away. We had to walk along the edge of the busy road in the gravel, and our flipflops hoping to not get hit by a car.

Finally, we made it to the station and prayed we wouldn’t get robbed of our huge wad of cash.  We know we’re being irrational for the most part, we did research before coming and theft of tourists is dealt with quite severely as tourism is such an important part of the economy.  Still, had to Ryan spread it out over various pockets as we headed back to town. Starved and exhausted, it ended up being about 3 miles to get to the ATM, we settled for a meal at Luciana’s. A woman, ostensibly Luciana herself, sat us upstairs in the open air with a distant view of the sea. We drank more Kilimanjaro beer and got fish and calamari curries on beds of rice. The curry was absolutely amazing.  Zanzibar is known as the spice islands and she told us she uses only fresh spices from here. More cows came to graze right outside the restaurant as we finished our meals.

After stuffing our bellies, we reluctantly began the long walk home. It was a particularly windy day so there must have been 100 people out kite surfing in the shallow water of low tide. We walked in the water and watched the good surfers jump and do tricks and the bad surfers struggle to get up. We walked past locals playing soccer on the edge of the beach as well, and did our best to stay out of the way and not get hit by a ball. Finally, we could see the hotel in sight and again passed through some more beach cows. We made it back right at 7 pm and as we walked into our room a huge storm blew in and it began pouring.

Day 6 – Bwejuu – January 19

The next morning, we were still a little sleepy from our long walking day. We ate our delicious breakfast then spent the day lounging pool side and oceanside. In the late afternoon we began our pool drinking with wine and beer in the hot sun. We decided to eat at the hotel restaurant for dinner and had prawn with vegetables and chickpeas and potato masala. Everything tasted delicious, if a little pricey, and we went to sleep feeling well rested.

Day 7 – Matemwe – January 20

Today we transferred hotels again heading up the northeast coast of the Island. We enjoyed our last breakfast here then lazed in the room packing and reading until our checkout at 11. Ryan had arranged for our taxi driver to pick us up at noon. We lugged our bags out and sat in the open-air lobby area and immediately began sweating. The taxi driver who initially drove us to the hotel had asked us to use him and said he didn’t mind driving the hour from Stone Town to come collect us. We played chess and drank a beer and it only got hotter and hotter.

Once noon had come and gone Ryan texted him and he said he was 30 minutes away. We continued to veg and finally at one o’clock he rolled into the compound. We’re sick of African time. We said goodbye to all the helpful staff and Maasai then piled into his car. The road, somehow, had gotten worse and it was a very bumpy ride leaving. We’re surprised he didn’t puncture a tire on the sharp limestone driving out. Once we were on the main road, he drove like a mad man going 75 mph swerving pot holes, goats, and pedestrians. He slowed down to go over poorly constructed speed bumps, which were clearly designed for people like him. Needless to say, Elizabeth was feeling pretty car sick. Tanzania is, by some lists, one of the 10 poorest countries in the world. Our $35 taxi trip was 17% of his monthly salary paid by the government, and he made it in just a few hours. No wonder he was willing to drive such long distances to take us around.

We finally got to the small road to take us to the beach and our hotel, Kiganja Resort, and again he maneuvered his way down a rough limestone road, this one had the deepest holes yet. The resort is run by an Italian couple and their young daughter. They got us all checked in and we were delighted to find air conditioning in our room. We changed and immediately got in the pool. The resort doesn’t seem super full, it looks to only have about 10 rooms, but they are all older European couples. We swam then laid in their beach chairs drinking beer and reading our books.

Around 5:30 we decided to walk along the beach. The hotel is about a 3-minute walk through a palm forest to get there. There are a lot less tourists here and we are on the outskirts of the town Matemwe. We walked past many kids playing soccer on the beach and traditional canoe boats resting in the sand. We probably strolled about an hour looking at shells before heading back. We hadn’t eaten since breakfast and couldn’t wait for our 7:30 dinner. We decided to eat at the hotel, offering 3 courses for $15 each. We started with wine and beer and a thick vegetable soup with croutons. The main course was roasted chicken, potatoes, and a diced tomato. The potatoes were delicious but the chicken was overcooked, we felt like the family in Christmas Vacation trying to eat the super dry turkey. For dessert we had coconut tiramisu. We slept peacefully in the air conditioning free from mosquitos.

Day 8 – Matemwe – January 21

We lazed around after breakfast enjoying the poolside lounge chairs. Elizabeth took a long beach walk in the early afternoon, while Ryan continued lounging.  Around 4 pm, we decided to go into town for an early dinner, so we walked north along the beach towards the town of Matemwe. We were recommended by our hotel owners a restaurant called Furaha Local Resturants. We found it off the beach in the middle of the village. We were the only ones dinning in this small outdoor patio with four tables. We ordered our food then drank the mostly frozen water bottles they provided, honestly it was so nice to have ice in our drinks. Everything in Zanzibar is made to order so it’s wonderfully fresh, but we have a bad habit of leaving until we are already starving, which makes the waiting that much harder.

Outside we watched the village kids run around playing and the men attempt to fix a water well. Finally, the dishes came, we got fish and calamari curries with white rice. The calamari curry was delicious and was the first time Elizabeth had had it unbreaded. It tasted the exact same but she wasn’t a fan of looking at the tentacles and suckers.

After dinner we trudged the 30-minute walk back home along the beach seeing more soccer games and traditional boats. We arrived back at the hotel in time for happy hour and got a few mojitos. We lounged on their upper patio drinking and snacking on some homemade puff chips? They were warm and tasted like fresh deep fried.

Day 9 – Matemwe – January 22

We woke up to overcast skies and drizzling rain. After our less impressive breakfast buffet we spent the morning lounging.  Eventually we took a break from our lawn chairs to lunch on the patio, getting pasta and a bottle of wine.  We figured since they’re Italian, their pasta would be on point. The pesto pasta tasted like it was made with anise and we don’t much care for that black licorice flavor. The all’amatriciana pasta was incredible though!  After filling our bellies, we returned to our room and had a lazy Netflix afternoon. For dinner, we once again headed up to the patio for Serengeti beers and a shared hamburger.  Good night.

Day 10 – Matemwe – January 23

Much to our dismay, it was time to move hotels again. Had we known while planning what we know now about the cost of taxis and the horrid road conditions, we might not have decided to move around the island so much. So, we ate breakfast and got picked up at 11 am. The Italian owners were very kind and gave us big hugs as we departed. We’d highly recommend staying at this guest house for a few days to anyone coming to Zanzibar.  The rain still hadn’t left us and it was gloomy as we drove 10 minutes up the beach into Matemwe proper to stay at Seles Bungalows.

Seles is a more expensive hotel, but you feel like you’re in the middle of the jungle and it’s right against the beach.  Even though we got there before noon, our room was ready.  We sat in the spacious open bar area and enjoyed a few beers while we played a game of scrabble.  What a wonder, Elizabeth dominated.

Elizabeth went on a beach walk to explore, finding more boats, blue water and sand.  When she got back we played in the pool. It was still raining though, so no one was out and about.  We discussed snorkeling, but the windy, cloudy weather wouldn’t lead to good conditions on the reef. In the afternoon Ryan started feeling queasy and took to bed. He had stomach cramps; Africa is trying to kill us. For dinner Elizabeth ate a chapati (Zanzibar bread) filled with cheese and Bolognese sauce. This country has several pasta options on their menus. We laid in bed watching Jurassic park, while Ryan suffered (more Elizabeth watching and Ryan listening in the fetal position).

Day 11 – Matemwe – January 24

After a rough night, Ryan woke up feeling better so we headed down to what was described as a full English breakfast. It was really just fruit, bread, and an egg. We’d been spoiled by breakfasts in other hotels. The fruit was delicious though: fresh pineapple, watermelon, and a baby banana. It didn’t take long for Elizabeth to start feeling down herself. It was still overcast and we spend most of the day in the room or out in the bar area so Ryan could eat. By dinner we were both much better and sat in the upstairs area enjoying drinks and splitting another chapati, this time with chicken and cheese.  Ryan says Elizabeth is the best at picking greasy, bad food.

Day 12 – Nungwi – January 25

Our time at Seles was short and unfortunately not well used between our sickness and the rain. Time waits for no man though, and it was time to head up north to Nungwi, the most popular beach area of the island. Most of the owners these hotels have been European expats, and we thought Seles was an exception when we met Mr. Seles, but then a white woman with a British accent who wanted to make sure we had enjoyed our stay and she was sorry she couldn’t be there to check us in. Are any Zanzibari in charge of money in this country?

We ate breakfast and sat in the bar area waiting for our 11 am taxi pick up. As soon as the man arrived, we could smell his body odor. We should have refused then and demanded a new driver, but we were weak of illness and didn’t want to seem rude. So, we followed him to his car. We got in before he did and his car reeked, honestly the worst body odor we’d ever smelled. Again, we justified it to ourselves saying it was just 30 minutes; we thought we could handle it. The driver was absolutely crazy though, driving recklessly and that on top of the smell made us nauseous. Five minutes into the ride we were both plugging our noses. We know not all cultures emphasize hygiene in the same fashion or have different opinions about body odor, but this smell was offensive. Upon arriving in Nungwi, we found out he didn’t know where our hotel was and got frustrated with us that we couldn’t tell him.  Like we live in this country or something.  To top it all off, he had “Rockabye” by Clean Bandit on repeat the entire time. Eventually we figured out where the entrance was and walked inside. Ryan emailed Seles to tell them about our experience and recommend they don’t call him for future guests, it was the worst cab ride of our lives.  

Our new hotel is called Shamba Lodge and is located about 200 meters from the beach. We settled in and regained our composure after such a horrible 30 minutes. Eventually we set off to explore Nungwi beach, which in 2014 CNN ranked the 43rd best beach in the world, so we were anxious to compare. Our hotel was only a few-minute walk from the beach and we arrived at low tide. On the eastern coast the beach was pretty flat, so high and low tide didn’t really look too different, but the shore here is a bit steep. Again, we found a bunch of boats floating in shallow water.

It didn’t take long for us to be approached by a man selling us a snorkel trip. His rates were reasonable but with the overcast skies we didn’t want to commit. We walked with him to a developed area with lots of shops and restaurants and decided to eat at a recommended restaurant and think on his proposition. The service took forever, in typical Zanzibar fashion, so we drank beers and watched the nearby Spanish children play with the locals. After an eternity our curries came, we got fish and vegetable, and they were both pretty good, not the best, but not bad.

By now, the tide had come up and the path we’d walked to get the restaurant was covered in two feet of water. The ocean lapped the restaurant edges in some places. We walked to another bar called Istanbul and grabbed a couple of mojitos and pina coladas. The views were great and we watched people swimming right in front of the restaurant. We had all of our electronics with us, but vowed to spend the next day bar hopping and swimming.

We walked along the beach towards home, up on the cement wall, and stopped at another bar called Gerry’s. They had draft Kilimanjaro – we hadn’t had draft beer since we’d arrived, so we were excited. We sat on couches playing cards and people watching. Eventually we were feeling pretty good, and sleepy, so we opted to head home around 8 pm. We got back to the room, but our A/C turned off every 15 minutes, making for a long and hot night.

Day 13 – Nungwi – January 26

We headed down for breakfast around 9 am. Our host is a Spanish woman, so she doesn’t even start serving breakfast until 8:30. The breakfast was amazing though. It was like everything Seles wanted to be but couldn’t quite manage.  We had fresh tea and a giant bowl of fruit: banana, mango, pineapple, and papaya to start. Then she made us pancakes alongside an omelet and classic toast with oil, salt, and crushed tomatoes. It reminded Elizabeth of meals she ate in Spain.  Ryan heartily approved.  Next, we headed back to the beach and made the long walk to the far end of Nungwi beach.  

We stopped for lunch at a restaurant called Langi Langi and ate along the balcony edge as the tide was coming in. Ryan got whole fish, the waiter brought out two different sized fish for him to choose from, while Elizabeth had calamari curry. The food was incredible and, of course, washed down with cold beer.

We ignored the age-old swimming adage and immediately hopped in the water to cool off. The water is very salty so we were pretty buoyant and the temperature felt amazing. We paddled around and floated in the waves.

We decided to continue our bar hop swimming and moved down the beach, walking in knee-high water against the limestone cliffs, to a bar called Fat Fish Bar. We again got a spot right on the railing and ordered more beers. Ryan tried to order a chocolate milkshake with rum, but they were out of chocolate ice cream. We took turns swimming in the water below the restaurant and drinking. Since we had such good spots we decided to stay until the sun set. Zanzibar is supposed to have wonderful sunsets but it’s been so cloudy here we haven’t gotten a good one yet. Tonight, probably wouldn’t be that good either, but we had to try.

We eventually got hungry and asked to see the food menu. Ryan discovered another dessert with chocolate syrup and it was hilarious watching him tell the waiter to put the syrup in the vanilla ice cream and add rum.  By his look you’d think we’d grown two heads. All said and done, it actually turned out pretty good. We ordered a pizza to split, which was also not bad. Finally, the sun went down and we enjoyed a decent showing. Our waiter asked us to close out because he was exhausted and needed to go home after a hard day’s work. It was 7:30 pm and he volunteered that his shift had began at 11:30 am, no wonder the roads are so awful in the country, does anyone work?

It was dark when we left and we wandered back through the knee-high water during our long walk home. The moon was out to help guide us and luckily a lot of the cliffs had lights shining into the water. We stopped into a souvenir shop on our way back and got some clothes to commemorate our time in Africa. Ryan got an awesome tank top with the shape of the continent highlighted with safari animals and Elizabeth got a dress covered with classic tribal figures featuring the words Hakuna Matata and Zanzibar.

When we got back, we had one last beer at our hotel bar and chatted with the Spanish woman. We told her about the A/C and she complained that since December the city had been overloading the power grid and they were having nightly issues from 7-11 pm when everyone was running things in their home. She also told us about her love for diving. She thinks the best is in the Red Sea, particularly in Sharm el-Sheikh where we just were actually; looks like missed an opportunity. Back in our rooms, eventually our A/C started working again and we slept much more comfortably.

Day 14 – Stone Town – January 27

We had a final good Spanish breakfast before we loaded up in a taxi back to Stone Town. It was a 1.5 to 2-hour ride back and, of course, full of horrible roads and reckless driving, but luckily, we made it in one piece. The drive was actually quite pretty and we got to see the spice side of the island where all the large plantations are. We checked back into our same hostel, the Balcony House, and unloaded. We went back to Lazuli Café, the same restaurant we loved so much when we started the trip for lunch. We got more delicious smoothies and the curry and a vegetable burger. The same friendly waiter was there and invited us to his wedding on February 7th, we unfortunately wouldn’t be in Zanzibar to help him celebrate but wished him the best luck.

We spent the afternoon walking around and doing more shopping, but found nothing exciting. The clouds had cleared and we had our final shot at a sunset. We accidently ended up at an overpriced hotel restaurant on the beach called inside a Hyatt, but we had extra shillings to burn so it wasn’t the worst decision. We each got a cocktail and began the 1.5-hour count to sunset. It was pretty hot and the deck didn’t provide much shade. Eventually, the sun started setting and we ordered a couple more beers to enjoy its beauty.

As the sun set at 6:45, we knew we had 15 minutes before happy hour ended, so we rushed down the beach to another bar two more beers. We wanted to go to the night food market one last time and we basically were just killing time before they set it up. We went to the first Zanzibar pizza man and got an original and a cheese and tomato pizza. Ryan had him add peppers too late, so we ended up getting an additional original pizza. We stuffed our faces and sat on the sea wall.  They were just as delicious as ever.  A local struck up a conversation with us, ostensibly to practice his English, but we suspected he had ulterior motives.  But after a few minutes of chatting, we finished our food and he wished us a safe journey back home.  We packed and went to bed ready to get up at 6 am for our taxi to the airport.

Day 15 – Stone Town – January 28

We were up bright and early to catch our 6 am cab to the airport. We’d hoped that by getting there this early the lines would be low. We were wrong. You have to go through security to get into the airport, a long line, then check your bags, another long line, then go through immigration, a huge line, then go through security again. Remodeling of the building began a few years ago, but construction halted before half of the renovations could be completed.  So, we got a nice view of air industrial sized air conditioning unites hooked up to nothing among other oddities.  It was hands down the worst airport we’d ever been to. It was so hot and crowded and everyone looked like they were on the verge of passing out; plus, it was understaffed. We finally got into the terminal and there were no signs or TV boards telling you any flight information. Ryan’s AMEX paid for itself as we were able to go into an air-conditioned lounge.

Eventually we boarded the flight, FlyDubai, and were about to take off when we headed back to the gate. Apparently, there was something wrong mechanically and we sat on the tarmac for three hours with staff and engineers trying to sort it out.  The pilot was very apologetic, but it was all in the name of safety, so we couldn’t be too upset.  Eventually, we were moved back inside for another two hours to wait, again luckily, we had the A/C lounge. There aren’t any airline representatives at this airport as it’s so small, so we weren’t really sure what was happening, and we don’t think the airlines don’t have any extra planes.  Prognosis negative.  Next thing we knew we were being shuffled onto buses and shipped to an unknown destination.

We were happy when we arrived at the beautiful hotel Madinat al Bahr. However, we didn’t know how long we were staying or what the flight situation was. We were given a buffet lunch and told to hang out by the pool. Eventually we learned that we were spending the day there and after dinner we would board a bus at 11 pm back to the airport and fly out at 2 am.

When we arrived back at the airport it still took us about an hour to recheck our bags and make it through immigration and security.  Ridiculous, considering we were the only flight leaving that night.  We were back up in the lounge and we after what seemed like forever, we boarded the plane after 2 am. Luckily the flight wasn’t full and we had an entire row to ourselves. We’ve liked our time on the island; if you ever do a safari in Tanzania, definitely tack on a beach vacation here – just be prepared for horrible roads.

Things we’ve learned in Zanzibar:

  1. There are a lot of French people here
  2. USD is more popular than Tanzanian Shillings
  3. The egg yolks here are white because they feed the chickens either white cornmeal or wheat

South Africa

Day 1 – Hout Bay, Cape Town – December 23

Our flight from Namibia landed 20 minutes early and it was smooth sailing through immigration, getting our luggage, and picking up the rental car. The drivers here seem even crazier than in Namibia, but it could just be because there were so many more cars on the road. Cape Town is beautiful. It’s located out on a little peninsula and surrounded by gorgeous mountains.

We found our Airbnb and our host’s mother, an 86-year-old woman, who showed us around. She is from this area and said her family owned one of the original 5 farms before Cape Town exploded into what we see today. She made a few vaguely racist and extremely conservative comments, happy to know we were good Christian folk, then was on her way.  Welcome to South Africa! The house is very cute with a full kitchen and just about anything Ryan could dream of using.  We next headed to the grocery store hoping to beat the crowds on Christmas Eve. We settled on another Spar, the same brand we’d used throughout Namibia, and the neighboring liquor store Tops. There are so many great South African wines available for cheap.

Back at the house we popped a few bottles and sat on the back porch enjoying gorgeous views of the mountains.  The weather is pretty nice, maybe in the low 80s, so we drank and lounged. For dinner Ryan made us chicken and potatoes in a Thai chili sauce.  We baked some Christmas cookies, nothing fancy like we’d do if we were home, but you can’t have Christmas without cookies!

Day 2 – Hout Bay, Cape Town – December 24

Christmas Eve in the Southern Hemisphere.  We decided to indulge in our locale completely by beginning with a walk to the beach, only about 7 minutes from our house. Since we are surrounded by mountains rising up out of the sea, the clouds are incredible. You’ll be able to see one peak, but the peak next to it will be shrouded in clouds. Half the beach was in sun and half the beach was in shade, and all the sky activity was constantly changing and fast.

There were huge piles of sea weed on the beach as well. We’d never seen seaweed like this before, they were long thick tube-like pieces.  More like seabushes.  We noticed dogs are allowed on this beach and you could see them running all around as happy as can be with a huge seaweed tube in their mouth.

At the edge of the beach we found the surfer hangout. We watched for a while deciding they weren’t actually surfing but were doing some weird amalgamation of boogie boarding. Their boards were long and thick with lots of handholds along the side. Everyone was wearing wet suits so it must be pretty cold out there.  

We walked through town stopping in a few shops and finally up to the catholic church. Again, they didn’t have a website or indication of their service times but we found a piece of paper taped to the outside gate. Our final errand was returning to the supermarket to pick up more wine, we’d dipped a little further into our stash the night before than we intended. It was an absolute madhouse with everyone getting their last-minute Christmas items – thank God we did the bulk of our shopping yesterday.

We lounged about at the house all afternoon until we walked to our Christmas Eve dinner reservations at 6:30. In true Ryan and Elizabeth fashion we ate at The Indian Oven. Our waiter was very friendly and reminded us of American waitstaff, what a refreshing change of pace. We got prawn samosas to start and Elizabeth got a lemonade and passionfruit vodka cocktail and Ryan enjoyed some South African beer called Castle. For the main course we shared malai kofta in a korma sauce, lamb tikka masala and a paneer dish from Ryan’s Indian cookbook. Because it’s a celebration we got both naan and paratha, you can never have too much bread. Everything tasted delicious and we stuffed ourselves. We enjoyed chai tea and rice pudding for dessert after shifting in our chairs and making room.

Day 3 – Hout Bay, Cape Town – December 25

Poor Ryan woke up with stomach cramps Christmas morning. He braved it to the 10:30 church service, about a 10 to 15-minute walk from the house. The service was in a small house-like church with just 10 pews on either side; we were jammed in like sardines. The choir was rambunctious and overall it was a quintessential African service.  We enjoyed it. As we walked back towards the house we had to jog and hide under trees between the intermittent downpours.  

It rained most of the day so we lounged and read our books. Around 4, poor Ryan, still feeling sickly, began cooking our Christmas dinner of beef wellington. Elizabeth must have diced 30 mushrooms. We (Elizabeth) drank lots of wine and listened to Christmas music while chef Ryan constructed the meat and pastry roll. Our sides included mashed potatoes and a red wine gravy. Everything tasted incredible.  

Day 4 – Simon’s Town, Cape Town – December 26

We woke up lazily and slowly cleaned up the kitchen nightmare from the night before while snacking on egg dish casserole.  Our checkout time was 11 and we intended to spend every minute we could in the Airbnb before we had to leave.  After packing up all our stuff, we had basically exploded our backpacks across the house so it wasn’t a small task, we got in the car and took a scenic drive through Chapman’s Peak on our way to our next stop in Simon’s Town.  We were stunned by the beautiful views as we followed a roadcut along sheer sandstone cliffs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.

We were making a stop along the way at the Scone Shack to meet our rock-climbing guide, and to enjoy some homemade scones and tea! We were so excited to climb with Tony, as he literally wrote the books on rock climbing in South Africa. He was older, probably in his late 50s and had the hippy climber aura about him. His wife joined us and we chatted about our trip and what to expect the next day. The Shack was an adorable little plot of land in the middle of nowhere with all manner of little shacks and lawn knick-knacks straight out of Chip and Joanna Gaines’ catalog.  We got our tea and scones and had to fight the baby chicks off as they climbed all over us and tried to eat our food. We learned we are going to do trad climbing, which involves setting your own equipment as you climb up the rock face which we’d both never done before. We bade them farewell and left to check in at our next lodging.  Where they’ll have porcupines!  Our host is a lovely local family who rents out their stylishly furnished guesthouse.  We spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around, reading our books.  When Elizabeth got stir crazy, we popped over to Boulder Beach to see the penguins for free from the scenic walk.

Day 5 – Simon’s Town, Cape Town – December 27

We woke up bright and early planning on rock climbing, but got a text from our guide at 5:44 (right as we were pulling out of the drive way) saying he didn’t think conditions were safe, especially not for two newcomers to trad climbing.  So, disappointed, we turned around and put ourselves back in bed.  Sleep didn’t come to us as we browsed the internet and read our books for a couple of hours, waiting for the local restaurants to open for breakfast.  Eventually they did and we strolled into town, enjoying the coastal views and brisk, morning winds.  After having a fantastic breakfast, we walked to an ice cream parlor down the road and each got a cone.  Elizabeth mint chocolate chip and Ryan plain chocolate.  It’s summer here, don’t judge.  We gobbled down our ice cream, while sitting on the quay watching the waves crash into the beach enjoying the salty breeze and the warm sun.  Simon’s Town is a really cute, quaint beach town sitting on the eastern side of the Western Cape peninsula.

We made our way back to the Airbnb to lay down after such a feast, telling ourselves we would go for a run very soon.  After a couple of hours lazing in the guesthouse Elizabeth actually did go for a run while Ryan worked on the blog and continued to read his book.  He just restarted his favorite book series and it was like pulling teeth getting him to focus on something else.  We settled down for bed around 8:30 waiting for our nightly porcupine visitation.  This time the big daddy came by, and he is huge with his mane of quills.  It was absolutely adorable to see him hunker down on his elbows and scarf food down. Each night the owners put out leftover vegetables and corn kernels to attract the wild animals.

Day 6 – Cape Town – December 28

We woke up with the bright African sun at 6:45 and packed up to leave by 9 for our next Airbnb in Cape Town.  Our friends Mike and Susie from Houston were coming to visit us for a couple of weeks.  We are so excited to have some more visitors.  We decided to drive on the eastern side of Table Mountain this morning to save a little time and rand.  Definitely not as scenic as the western side, but still pretty.  Upon arrival, we got the Airbnb walkthrough from our host’s roommate and he was so friendly.  We think everyone in Cape Town is.  He let us know the light in the kitchen that doesn’t work, the lights in the downstairs hallway don’t work, and the lights in the upstairs hallway don’t work, but we have a great kitchen, patio, a bunch of bedrooms and all sorts of artwork.  After he left, we noticed that we couldn’t find any laundry detergent or dishwashing soap or a kitchen knife, so we asked them where they were and they went out and bought them for us. 

We intended on exploring the town a bit and walking to the beach, but somehow, we ended up staying in, drinking champagne, and eating leftovers in front of a Friends marathon all day.  We did some laundry too, so it wasn’t a total waste of a day.  Mike and Susie landed around 9 pm so after picking them up we drank a bottle of wine and caught up on each other’s lives.  They were extremely jet-lagged and acted like total troopers hanging out with us for a few hours.  They had been traveling for over 33 hours, on little more than 5 hours of sleep, but managed to put coherent sentences together.  Before midnight we called it and hit the hay.

Day 7 – Cape Town – December 29

Everyone woke up surprisingly early, so we ate breakfast at a neat little restaurant down the road, Bootlegger Coffee, a little before 9 am.  It would have fit in perfectly in the Houston Heights; great for Ryan and Elizabeth, but not exactly the exotic vacation we think Mike and Susie were looking for.  After finishing up breakfast we went back to the Airbnb and cleaned up.  We had decided to follow our host’s advice to walk down the promenade along the beaches of Cape Town to Camp’s Bay.  It’s a 7 km stretch of waterfront property full of condos, restaurants, beaches, and bars.  We took to our feet and enjoyed the magnificent ocean breeze and mountain views as we walked up the coast.  After learning a bit about the geology through a South African Geological Society plaque, and the collective use of our geology degrees, we decided it was time for our first bar stop of the day at a place called Stepbrothers that we found through our good friend Google.  We were told by our host that we would pass by a series of bars and restaurants, but what we didn’t know was that they are all a couple blocks off of our promenade path.  So, we wandered far longer than we anticipated looking for our first stop.  After arriving at a fancy-looking bar with a great patio, we ordered a bottle of prosecco and some orange juice for mimosas.  The staff looked at us like we had two heads when we ordered the mimosas, and the juice they brought out was half green with weird, frothy pulp.  Regardless, we were excited to be reunited and raised a glass to our friends.

After finishing our drinks, we sauntered onto the famous row of beaches suggested to us, so we could find a nice, sandy spot to relax.  They were named Clifton Beach 1, 2, 3, and 4.  According to our inside information, each beach had a different vibe with the final location being the muscle beach.  We of course headed straight for that one.  To be honest, the beachgoers all looked pretty similar to us, and the beaches did too.  They were all spectacular strips of soft, white sand separated by dark outcrops of rock with gorgeous clear blue water.

The boys swam in the icy water and eventually we headed towards the restaurants to grab a late lunch. We settled on a place called Tiger’s Milk that had alleged Tex-Mex. We drank beers and enjoyed nachos then burgers and fish tacos. We couldn’t stay out too late since our shark dive company was picking us up at 3 am the next morning. We piled in an Uber back, which took a while with all the beach traffic. Back at home we bought some snacks and alcohol at the Spar then spent the evening hammering out our NYE plans.

Day 8 – Cape Town – December 30

Our chauffeur arrived dark and early at 3:10 am sharp.  We were sharing a bus with 5 other groggy passengers in what looked like a classic South African mini-bus.  Basically, just a 12-passenger van.  We rode in silence and attempted to sleep, with varying degrees of success.  Around 6 am we rolled up to Gansbaai and met a painfully chipper receptionist at the Great White Shark Dive company who made us sign our lives away in return for a couple hundred dollars and a continental breakfast.  We ate toast, drank coffee and took some Dramamine.  We were ready for the sharks. 

After an introductory video and some safety instructions (which included them assuring us the cage would float and not to panic when the locked it behind us), we were herded onto a 35-foot boat and drove out into the ocean.  It was fairly calm seas as we rode out.  We managed to grab seats on the upper deck of the boat and enjoyed great views, cloudy skies, and the flocks of seagulls following us.  Before we knew it, we were dropping anchor and the staff was giving us a brief rundown of what to expect.  The guide didn’t finish his first sentence before we saw a few bronze whalers swimming around the boat.  It looked like we weren’t going home empty handed!  They started chumming the water with dead salmon, while instructing us to don our wetsuits. 

The four of us were in the second group to jump into the cage.  They let us know that under no circumstances were we to stick any hands, feet, or cameras out of the cage for any reason.  If we were to, and if they think we did it on purpose, they would yank us out of the cage for the day, because these are wild and dangerous animals.  Not sure why some people need that reminder.   After climbing into the cage, they lined us up and started chumming the water some more, but they didn’t need to.  We were surrounded by sharks.  At least 20 sharks were swimming in circles around us, getting within inches of our faces.  Before we knew it, they were calling us out and putting the third group in.  It was spectacular.  Luckily for us the sharks were extremely active and we actually got to enter the cage a second time.  We took some great videos and dozens of photos.  A seal even swam by at one point, but had the good sense not to get too close to the sharks. 

Unfortunately, we never caught a glimpse of a great white.  It turns out that the global demand (see China’s demand) for shark fin soup was having an effect on the local shark populations.  The large whalers and whites aren’t being hunted by law, but a number of the smaller species are harvested to supply the hungry appetites certain populations, and those smaller ones are the primary diet of the great white shark.  After returning to dock, they fed us lasagna and salad then showed us a video they took of us that day.  We then loaded into the van at 9:45 am to head back to Cape Town.  By half past noon we were back in the apartment getting cleaned up for our afternoon plans.  We were going to shop at the Pan-African Market and head to a local winery or two.

We drove downtown and checked out the shops, sadly the Pan-African Market had actually closed, but there were other shops that sold local hand-made goods and art.  Susie bought a beautiful salad bowl and a hippo ashtray.  She says she’s going to use to hold her cooking spoons.  Mike bought a couple of hand-carved meerkat statues while we left empty-handed.  This just isn’t our trip for souvenirs.  Next, we drove to High Constantia, a gorgeous series of vineyards and estates in the foothills of Table Mountain.  We stopped by High Constantia and Constantia Glen to have a couple of tastings and dinner.  We decided by vote that Constantia Glen was by and far better.  Rating wineries would become a theme for the weekend.  The wine was really good and the food was delicious. We even got a room to ourselves with leather armchairs. We drove home and called it an early night.

Day 9 – Cape Town – December 31

The girls were up early, Elizabeth jogged around the promenade and Susie got coffee. Michael made us breakfast from all our leftover potatoes, egg, and sausage from Christmas. The house didn’t have any seasoning besides our salted butter and some mustard. He did his best. After filling up we left the house and drove the hour back down to Simon’s Town so they could see the penguins. They aren’t as stingy as we are, so Elizabeth also paid the $10 to walk down close to the birds and Ryan went to the public beach.

It was a super windy day and the sand was whipped in our face and actually burned our skin a little. We could go to two areas, the first a cove with penguins on the rocks and the second you stay on the boardwalk and overlook the huge flocks. Some of the penguins were molting so that was cute to see. The African penguin is on the verge of extinction and can be found along the coast of South Africa and Namibia. The penguin’s population fell due to all the overfishing in False Bay removing their food source, similar to the great white shark.

Next, we piled back in the car and took the long scenic route home along the coast through Chapman’s point. These are the same overlooks we saw when leaving Hout Bay, but today it was sunny and beautiful. We stopped a few times at the various pull outs to snap a few pictures and miraculously stayed a few steps ahead of the huge crowd of cars behind us.

For lunch we stopped in Hout Bay at a famous fish and chips restaurant called Fish on the Rocks. You order at the counter then sit at one of the picnic tables outside. Ryan got the yellowtail and Elizabeth the calamari; for not being in the UK, it was pretty good.

After lunch we stopped at a brewery just down the road to have our first NYE drink. We sat outside in the sun and wind and headed back to the house around 4 pm. At the house, we all got ready for our EDM concert night. Electronic Dance Music is very popular in Cape Town and they have a bunch of festivals on NYE. We settled on one called Secrets of Summer on a golf course right in town. We arrived and got our VIP wrist bands and following the thump thump thump of the distant music.

Our bracelets were preloaded with 250 rand or roughly 37 dollars and the drinks were quite reasonably priced. Our bracelets would get us about 10 beers each. We found our VIP tent and grabbed our first round of beers and vodka red bulls. There were three different stages to choose from. We wandered through the grounds and it didn’t take long for the alcohol to help us find the beat. It was so windy but before the sun set it wasn’t too cold. We danced and danced and danced and drank from 5:30 to 10:30. We decided to leave before midnight since it was chilly and we had emptied our wrist bracelets. None of us were huge EDM fans, but it was a great time nonetheless.

We stopped by the Airbnb to change quickly then headed to the V&A Waterfront area to grab some champagne and wait for the firework show. The place was packed. We wandered for a long time past full restaurants and bars. Eventually we found a fancy outdoor food court and got a couple of bottles of champagne, some lamb wraps, and pastries to enjoy on the picnic tables outside. We watched the fireworks go off then we went home. We attempted to play games back at the house but drunk Ryan and Susie wouldn’t stop arguing about rules. Elizabeth went to bed, followed by Susie then Mike and Ryan stayed up till 3:30 reminiscing about field camp and general shenanigans at Texas A&M. We’d say we successfully bid adieu to 2019 and welcomed 2020.

Day 10 – Cape Town – January 1

Morning came entirely too early for the group.  We had grand plans to grab an early breakfast and hike Table Mountain by 8 am.  The revelry from the night before took its toll though and instead we struggled to breakfast 9 at a nearby diner, which was perfectly stylized in American 50s chic.  We all appreciated the greasy spoon cuisine and almost felt alive again.  We decided that we needed a little more time to recuperate before going hiking, so we rested at the Airbnb for a few hours.  Ryan napped heavily, while the girls went for a walk. 

Around 3 pm we decided we had the strength the get in the car and go see Table Mountain, but we were going to take the cable car up instead. We arrived and had to park about halfway down the mountain. It’s all street parking along the single road leading to the top. When we arrived, the lines looked daunting. Luckily, the waiting area was shaded, so we ate ice cream bars and people watched to pass the time. It took about an hour and a half to get through the line and onto the cable car. The ride was beautiful and the car had a rotating platform so you spun around the windows as you went up, it was less than a 5-minute journey to the peak.

At the top it was much chillier, luckily, we brought jackets. We had decided a couple people would hold a place in line for the ride down and then the others could peel off to enjoy the views. So, we walked and walked and walked and finally found the end of the line. It looked longer than the line to get up. We decided we would hike down instead, even though most of us didn’t have proper footwear.

The views from the top were incredible.  It was like something out of a fairytale with thick, rolling clouds pouring over the tops of grassy mountain ranges and steep cliffs, all towering above the clear waters of the South Atlantic.  Around the other side of the peak there was an expansive view of Cape Town and its beautiful bay.

Finding the path back down was tricky. It was pretty foggy up top, and of course there wasn’t a lot of signage. Luckily the other people around us were also looking and shouted when they found the obscure trail. There were a ton a people hiking both up and down, it was pretty much 2 long miles of switchback rock stairs.

We were passed by African men wearing loafers and flip flops. The scenes down the mountain were also beautiful. Eventually, our knees and ankle joints began to ache from all the down hiking on hard rock. People told us it would take us an hour to get down. Unfortunately, we didn’t realize we parked about as far away from the trailhead as we could, so it took us nearly two hours and we had to walk almost 3 miles. We went back under the cable cars and got spit out right at the ticket office. We were all exhausted and really hungry as we’d only eaten ice cream and greasy breakfast hours ago.

We piled back in the car and headed towards the Airbnb in search of food, unsure what would be open on New Year’s Day. We found an Indian tapas place called Sundoo and gorged ourselves on curry, biryani and samosas. We headed home and packed up for our 8 am departure the next morning into wine country. We’ve loved our time in Cape Town.

Day 11 – Franschhoek – January 2

We got up at 7 to finish packing and clean up the Airbnb. Our host swung by at 8 to collect the keys and we were off to wine country. It was about an hour drive from Cape Town to Franschhoek. We dropped our car off at the Airbnb, which is located within the vineyards in an adorable cottage, then walked the 10 minutes into town and grabbed some pastries and coffee before finding our wine tram.

Michael had booked us tickets on a tram/bus/train system that would take us from winery to winery. We weren’t quite sure how it worked, but assumed someone could explain the complex time tables to us at some point. We arrived right at 11 and by the time we got our tickets we’d missed the first tram and got to take a private tram to the first winery Haute Cabriere.

Haute Cabriere had a fantastic view of the distant mountains. We sat out onside on a couch and sipped a tasting of champagne, white and red wines. The wine wasn’t delicious but the views were spectacular. The tasting was also super cheap, less than $10 per person for 5 full pours of wine.

We caught the next tram back to the station to board the wine train. We figured out the schedule and they tend to run about every 30 minutes. The train was adorable and we got a glass of wine as we enjoyed the top row and open windows as we cruised through the mountains and vineyards.

Our next stop was a winery called Rickety Bridge. We got off the train and loaded onto these trailers pulled behind tractors, and were pulled through the vineyards up towards the estate. Since we had made a reservation, we found our table set out on the porch under a huge tree overlooking the fields. We even saw helicopters flying around and dropping people off. We’ll do that wine tour when we have more money. The wine was delicious and we got a meat and cheese board to try to stay sober.

From Rickety Bridge we got back on the tram and headed to our next stop, Paserene. This winery was very modern looking and the building was shaped like a wine bottle. We started sitting outside by the pond, but the sun was up and hot so we moved inside. We got another flight and ordered some salmon, bread and beef jerky, or as they say, biltong. It was at this point that Elizabeth realized her phone was missing, and we figured it must have fallen out of her pocket at Rickety Bridge. We thought it was lost but when we called, they reported a tractor driver had found it at the edge of the wine field. What luck!

Our next stop was a winery called Leopard’s Leap.  We were feeling pretty good from all the wine and we stood up at the counter to do our last tasting. This wine was absolutely delicious.  The scenery, quality of wine, friendliness of staff and décor were quickly making this our favorite winery so far.  South Africa has a signature type of grape called Pinotage unique to this region, and Leopard’s Leap makes a good bottle of it, so we all bought a few. Susie plans to fill a suitcase up and bring it back to Houston. To top it all off, apparently, there are even leopards that live up in the mountains behind the winery.  Unfortunately, we didn’t catch a glimpse of any.  Looks like we’ll have to wait and hope we see some in Kruger.

On the way back we stopped at Rickety Cricket to pick up Elizabeth’s lucky phone then took the wine tram back to the station.  It really was an amazing spot by the wine staff; we spoke to the driver that found it and he said he managed to spot it in the dirt during one of his loops around the property.  We ran home to change and drop off our purchases before heading to our last winery and dinner at Grande Provenance.  The grounds at this winery were spectacular and packed full of art and sculptures. We arrived well before our reservation so we bought a bottle of wine and walked around the grounds enjoying all the views.

For dinner we got another bottle and enjoyed a delicious, if a bit slow, four-course meal each ranging from ostrich to oysters culminating in a cheese plate for dessert. We were stuffed to the rafters and ready for bed. We headed back to our farm homestead and slept soundly.

Day 12 – Stellenbosch – January 3

Everyone woke up at their leisure, struggling to varying degrees with the excessive amount of wine we drank the night before.  Some people, namely Ryan, slept for as long as humanly possible, whereas some people, Mike, woke up to go for a jog.  Elizabeth and Susie lounged and after groggily cleaning up and showering we prepared for our second day of wine country.  We had a more relaxed schedule for the day, planning on visiting only a couple wineries. First things first, we drove from Franschhoek to Stellenbosch and dropped our car off at a new Airbnb before taking an Uber to Stark-Conde, our first winery of the day.  

The Stark-Conde estate was gorgeous. Our tasting wasn’t scheduled until 11:15, so we decided to have breakfast at the onsite Postcard Café. The food was excellent and we ate full meals to prepare our bellies for more wine. Ryan ordered two dishes, one being a berry cobbler which he absolutely loved.

At 11:15 we headed down to do our tasting on the over-the-water gazebo.  The wine tasting building was in the middle of a large pond complete with a wooden boardwalk wrapping the perimeter and surrounding hills where people were strolling and enjoying the day.  We ordered two flights, one was their premium wine and the second were the high-altitude wines they grow higher up the mountains. The wines were outstanding, definitely the best we’d had so far.

We noticed in the distance some women lying on their stomachs looking in the shallows of the pond’s edge. They were talking with the staff who had brought them a pole and obviously looking for something. Eventually one of the women jumped in and started splashing around – the boys felt compelled to investigate. While they were gone other staff came over and we debated about what the lost item could be. When the boys came back to report, the whole staff wandered over to our table to hear the update.

Apparently, the teenage daughter had dropped the mom’s phone in the lake while walking along the boardwalk. It turned out to be her work phone and she was very upset to have lost it, when the daughter would complain about it being gross and get out of the water, her mother would yell at her to get back in and use her hands to search for it. It was entertaining enough to watch, so we ended up getting another bottle to share. The owner ended up coming down to check it out and told a few hilarious stories about other people dropping things in and her dad getting in his speedo to search for them. After their investigation, Mike and Ryan determined that the seaweed was so high and the sediment so thick, that there was no hope for the woman.  She and her daughter took a while to give up though. 

After a few hours at Stark Conde, we decided it was time to try another winery. We took an Uber over to Tokara Wine Estate. Tokara had beautiful views of the vineyard perched high up the side of a mountain. We again ordered a flight then realized how hungry we were. Unfortunately, the winery wasn’t serving any food, so we had to drink on empty stomachs.

We took another Uber back into downtown Stellenbosch and ended up having dinner at an Italian placed called Decameron Restaurant and Beer Garden. We’d had enough wine for the day and were happy to wash down our various pastas and sea food with a cold brew. After dinner we retreated to our Airbnb where we were sharing a large room with 4 twin beds. We fell asleep pretty early and were awoken at 2 am by drunken swimmers in the pool next to our room. They were loud and kept making the motion light outside our door light up, even after telling them we were trying to sleep their drunken “whispers” carried into our room.

Day 13 – Stellenbosch – January 4

The next morning, we went back downtown to breakfast at De Warenmarkt. Michael was beginning to feel uneasy, barely touching his breakfast, while Elizabeth and Susie devoured their waffles stuffed with meat, and covered in cheese. We returned home to drop the car off and Uber to our wine tasting at Waterford, while Michael decided he needed to stay home and rest his stomach.

The three of us headed to the beautiful Waterford Estate and sat out in the garden for our tasting. Michael had scheduled us the wine and chocolate pairing and we were very excited. We drank two white wines and one red wine first, then paired three chocolates with two more red wines and a dessert wine. The chocolate was delicious, but melted fast in the heat.

The previous day, when we were downtown, we tried to have dinner at a great looking place called the Fat Butcher.  Unfortunately, they were fully booked, so we made reservations for lunch at 1 o’clock. We timed our drinking at the winery so we could Uber straight to lunch, Michael still not up to joining us. Lunch was delicious and we again sat out on the patio. Susie and Ryan shared the bone marrow appetizer, which looked disgusting to Elizabeth, but they said was good. Again, we sipped some beer and enjoyed risotto, a burger, and a steak.

After lunch we returned to the Airbnb to bring Michael some light food and make sure he was still alive. The TV in our room was playing a marathon of the Hobbit movies. We decided to all lie in bed and watched awhile, until the three of us again headed out for our evening wine tasting at Lanzerac Wine Estate. We enjoyed a premium flight out on their patio with sparkling, red, and white wines. We walked around the ground until our evening dinner reservation in their hotel kitchen.

Dinner was quite fancy and superbly delicious. We began with tuna tartare and scallops followed by main courses of seared seabass, poached salmon and roasted lamb. We couldn’t resist the crème brûlée for dessert, which came with edible flowers. All this was washed down with a delectable bottle of home-grown shiraz. When we got home, Michael looked a little better and we hoped a good night sleep would cure him.  

Day 15 – Johannesburg – January 5

Everyone wished Elizabeth a happy 30th birthday in the morning. We headed back into downtown Stellenbosch one last time for breakfast downtown. The food was again delicious, not at all what we expected to be eating in Africa. A lot of these restaurants are pretty Westernized with delicious healthy omelet and yogurt options. After packing up the Airbnb we got in the car and drove the 40 minutes back to the Cape Town airport. We flew to Johannesburg for one night and the next day would be picked up for our safari in Kruger National Park.

After checking our bags and having a moment of panic when the airline couldn’t pull up Michael’s ticket and told him they didn’t have any more available for sale.  Luckily, there were some seats still online open for purchase – one to be exact.  Again, thanks to the Amex, we found a nice airport lounge with a delicious spread of food and drink for lunch. We didn’t realize the Sunday after New Year’s would be such a busy travel day and the airport and flight were packed. The flight lasted about 2 hours and was relatively smooth.

We had to wait 30 minutes for our bags to arrive on the belt. Susie had filled a small suitcase with 10 bottles of wine and we hoped they would survive unbroken (spoiler alert: on her flight back to Houston all but one made it home safe). Michael was finally feeling a little better and we grabbed an Uber to our AirBnB in the central business district of Johannesburg. Johannesburg is such a diverse city with a staggering wealth gap. There are groups of homeless people and shanty towns just blocks from prestigious, affluent neighborhoods. At times it felt a little sketchy driving through, but we agree it was good to be reminded of how good our lives are.

We dropped the luggage and took another Uber to a steakhouse for dinner. The restaurant was called The Butcher Shop & Grill and located in a posh area that looked identical to the suburbs of Houston, in particular The Woodlands.  We got a bottle of wine and dinned on lamb and sausage before our main courses of grilled steak, ostrich and chicken. For birthday dessert we got a glass of South African port. The best part was when Ryan gave Elizabeth her birthday poem, a tradition since we first got together. We had an early morning the next day, getting picked up at the airport at 7:15 to begin the 5-hour drive to Kruger so we repacked our bags and went to bed. Thirty years old came and went and Elizabeth survived. There is no photo evidence that this day even occurred, so Elizabeth is most likely still 29.

Day 15 – Kruger National Park – January 6

Sleepy, we arrived at the Terminal A information desk promptly at 7:15 to find our guide. Susie did extensive research on safari options and in the end, we went with a company called Wild Wings Safari for a 5-day trek through Kruger National Park. Our guide was easy to spot in his drab green and gray safari clothes and sandals.  His name was Simon and he led us out through the parking lot to a large mini-van with an attached trailer for luggage. In the van already was a sweet British couple, Sally and Paul, on vacation from Manchester. We stopped by another hotel on the way out of the city, the hotel looked exactly like Caesars Palace in Vegas, and picked up the final three passengers. Allie, Ellie, and Carrie are three friends from Pittsburg who were attending a friend’s wedding in Stellenbosch over New Year’s Eve.

We began the long drive north-east to Kruger. We chatted along the way, Sally and Paul own a catering business and the girls work as a meteorologist, physician’s assistant and in HR. We stopped after two hours at a rest area for morning snacks and coffee. This rest area had a big watering hole that attracted ostriches, zebras, several antelope, and rhinos. It was funny to watch Michael and Susie get so excited about ostrich and zebra; we’d seen so many in Namibia we were immune to it.

After a few more hours of driving we stopped at a large grocery store/outlet mall to get some more snacks before the final leg of the journey. Elizabeth got mozzarella balls and they tasted disgusting. The South Africans love cheese but have not quite figured out mozzarella. Finally, we made it to the park and stopped outside the grounds at a hotel to change cars. We piled into an open-air safari vehicle, basically a truck with three rows of seats in the bed and the cab roof cut open, then drove towards the gates.

On the bridge into the park, Simon stopped to give us the talk. Every safari is different, he can’t guarantee animals, nothing can be recreated, hopefully we’ll be lucky. And lucky we were. Right off the bat we saw herds of zebra, giraffes, impala, and kudu all along the side of the road. We learned that animals aren’t afraid of vehicles, they are used to them driving through, and the car acts like a type of camouflage, so the animals don’t realize there are humans inside. The second you step outside of the vehicle however; the animals can distinguish your smell from the diesel exhaust and your silhouette from the frame.  And they scatter.

We drove on, the roads, a little bumpy from time to time, but relatively smooth. The sun was getting hot and a lot of the animals were lounging under trees, not really doing much. We saw our first hippo lounging in a small pond and were amazed at how large the animals are in real life. We are at the beginning of the wet season so there are plenty of ponds and pools of water around. Simon said the hippos don’t fight too much until the dry season, when everyone is forced into the river and they fight over territory.

Shortly after that we saw our first elephant. We saw lots of elephants in Namibia, but they hadn’t lost their novelty. They are just so huge, and close up we could see their long eyelashes and all the wrinkles on their skin. A lot of the elephants had holes in their ears and Simon called it “wear and tear” from constant flapping. We also learned that elephants can nap by leaning their heads against trees and using their tusks for balance.

We saw baboons, more antelope and more hippos; then, as we drove back towards camp, we came upon a huge group of cars stopped on the road. Sitting in the road watching a distant pack of impalas was a cheetah. It was beautiful and Ryan was bursting with excitement. Apparently, cheetahs are one of the hardest animals to find in Kruger and we’d only been there a couple of hours. We watched the cheetah on the road oblivious, until another car pointed it out, another cheetah passing into the grass next to our car.

Apparently, these cheetahs are brothers. Our guide, who is also a photographer with two huge cameras, got very excited and whipped a camera out. Next thing we knew, we were watching a hunt. It felt like being in the Discovery channel. The first cheetah stalked through the grass, with the impala oblivious to his presence, then struck like lightning, grabbing one by the neck, while the second attacked from the rear. It took less than 5 minutes for the cheetahs to bring the animal down, all in the grass less than 50 meters from our car. The kill was surprisingly clean and we didn’t much blood.

We couldn’t believe our luck!  We hung around and watched as the cheetahs rested on top of their kill, exhausted and wary of other predators trying to steal the carcass. Cheetahs are the lowest on the totem pole of large cats, bullied by leopards and lions.

Finally, we drove off and not 10 minutes later saw three male lions. One even crossed the road in front of our car to join the other two under a tree. The lion looked very fierce and reminded us of Scar from the Lion King, you wouldn’t believe the number of Lion King references made over the course of the safari. I didn’t realize how unique lions look and how varied their manes can be. They looked like giant kittens rolling on their back with their paws in the air.

It was getting late and we needed to start heading back to camp at Skukuza. On the drive over we saw Cape buffalo and rhinos in the distance and more zebra, giraffes, elephants, warthogs and antelopes. We arrived at the camp, surrounded by tall electric fencing in the nick of time at 6:30. Simon dropped us off at the shop so we could browse and buy alcohol for dinner. The girls got a bottle of wine called the Big Five Reserve, in hopes it would bring us luck in seeing a leopard tomorrow – the only animal we were missing today. The Big Five are lion, hippo, elephant, leopard, and Cape buffalo. We were given our room keys and checked into surprisingly nice huts considering they were described as economical rooms, but they were complete with kitchens, bathrooms, and air conditioning.  Quite the step up from our camping in Namibia.

At 7:30 we met at Simon’s personal camp for dinner. Since our group was so large, he hired out a private chef to cook us breakfast and dinner every day.  When the groups are small, Simon cooks himself, but the meals aren’t nearly as elaborate (or as good we’d imagine).  A long table with lanterns and a tablecloth was set up in the yard.  Our chef John was a bubbly and enthusiastic cook with a kind personality. His food was incredible the entire trip, but Elizabeth thinks his first meal was his best. He made traditional South African bobotie which is primarily onions and garlic mixed with spiced ground beef covered with an egg/cream mixture then baked.  It really was delicious. We had amazing sides and drank our wine getting to know our safari partners better. For dessert he made malva pudding which tasted like sugary heaven. He made sure we knew that if we only had one serving a piece, his food wouldn’t exceed a 2,000 calorie a day diet – fat chance of that happening. We stayed up until around 10:30 drinking and chatting but we tried to behave since we knew we were meeting at 4:30 the next morning for coffee then taking a morning drive.  Since it’s summer here and the afternoons are unbearably hot with limited animal activity, our daily itineraries will consist of an early morning drive, resting at camp in the middle of the day, then a late afternoon to evening drive before dinner.

Day 16 – Kruger National Park – January 7

As planned, everyone arrived at 4:30 sharp for coffee and biscuits, then we were on safari by 5. If you’re staying in the park, the gates open at 4:30, but if you’re just a day visitor, you have to wait until 5:30 to get in.  Simon hoped this would give us a chance to get out before the crowds. At this point we were a pretty chummy group with great comradery and teasing for the many false animal sightings that ensued. Giraffes look just like trees and rhinos remarkably like boulders.  We made it back to the three male lions from the day before. They’d moved further in the distance but you could still see them, paws in the air. Ryan is getting quite practiced at taking photos on his phone through the binocular lens.

We saw the typical giraffes, zebras and antelopes – it’s incredible how quickly these animals become unexciting. Then while watching hippos in a watering hole, we saw our first spotted hyena (also spelled hyaena). He looked mean and fierce and now we completely understand why Disney chose him as Simba’s enemy. He walked along the bank, past the car, then into the forest.

We went to a second watering hole where we saw more hippos plus wildebeest and waterbuck antelope as we were pulling up.  We were all focused on the hippo when suddenly Simon got really excited and pointed out a magnificent leopard on the far bank.  The waterbucks held their ground, but kept their eyes on the leopard as he passed into a shady ravine nearby. Simon is a crafty driver and managed get us right outside the ravine when the leopard continued walking towards us and onto the road next to our car. The leopard walked along the road and we followed right behind him. Finally, he trotted across another ravine to lay below the trees. We thought that was the end of it and considered ourselves quite lucky.

There were over a dozen cars crowding the road when the leopard was walking along it, but they all left shortly after he returned to the trees. Simon suggested we wait a while. We were one of two cars left when two additional leopards, a female and an older cub, came out of the forest to interact with the male. There was some paw batting as the male let them know he wanted the younger cub off his territory but ultimately, they just laid down together. It’s rare to see a single leopard and we got to see three interacting together!

We went back to the lake to spend some more time looking at the animals around the water, since the leopard distracted us. We saw a pod of hippos in the water and the giant male was resting his head on top of the back of another hippo. A baby hippo was lounging off to the side and kept lifting his head up and yawning. It was adorable.

Simon took us to a lookout point where we could exit the vehicle and stretch our lets. We were on a giant chunk of granite and got a group photo of everyone but Sally and Paul, they had elected to do a bushwalk that morning, hopefully they won’t be too upset about missing the leopard action.

On our drive back towards camp for breakfast we spotted some plated lizards basking in the sun and dwarf mongoose which looked like little teddy bears. These mongooses live in termite mounds and they primarily feed on insects. Interesting tidbit, termite mounds have a chimney at the top that the termites open and close to regulate the temperature inside the mound.

When we arrived back at camp, John had breakfast waiting for us. We started with fruit, yogurt and muesli then transitioned to his hot breakfast of bacon, spicy beans and scrambled eggs. Before each meal, John explains what he made, how he made it, and why he thought the group would like it. We’re getting used to this sort of treatment. Around 11, when we were done with breakfast, we headed to our huts for a little nap. Our next game drive begins at 3 in the afternoon, so the intervening hours were spent lounging, napping, and enjoying the camp.

3 pm was still really hot, but we piled in the truck and headed into the park anyway. The first few hours were pretty unremarkable. We needed to see a rhino and a cape buffalo to complete our Big Five sighting for the day and Simon finally spotted a rhino and a calf out in the distance. Poaching is a huge problem in Kruger we learned; park officials estimate one rhino dies every day. As a result, we passed a lot of anti-poaching crews with dogs and guns, as well as several drones and helicopters flying overhead. This week is a full moon, which they call a poacher’s moon. He said one kilogram of ivory (specifically rhino ivory) sells for over 90k USD on the black market, primarily going to China for eastern medicinal uses. The guides often share all animal sightings around the park, except for rhino; sadly not all employees of Kruger are anti-poaching.

Our drive had been pretty uneventful until we came across our first parade (or reign) of elephants while crossing a dry riverbed. There were 15-20 elephants all coming down the bank into the riverbed and we could see them digging through the sand with their trunks to get to the water below. The best part was the baby elephants. Little calves were running around beneath the legs of their parents and rolling in the dirt. We got to watch them for about 15 minutes when suddenly all the elephants got up and began moving. Simon said they use low frequency vocals to communicate, and the alpha female must have given the command to get moving.

At the start of the safari, Simon gave us a little Kruger booklet that has 210 animals in it so we can identify and check off the animals you see. One hundred and fifty of those animals are birds. Simon is a big-time birder and he was happy to see us getting into bird identification, especially when we were having trouble finding big animals. A number of the birds in Kruger are iridescent and we quickly learned to identify the various species kingfisher, starling, dove, hornbill, sparrow, etc. One of our favorite birds was the woodlands kingfisher that has a beautiful blue color and a very distinct whistle.

On our drive back we finally saw a distant cape buffalo, closing out our Big Five for the day. We also saw a hippo out of the water grazing on grass as the sun set. That night for dinner John prepared a braai, or barbeque, very similar to what’s popular in Namibia. He says hosting a braai is like hosting an American barbeque and something parents teach their children. We ate a variety of grilled meats with pap, or cornmeal. Dessert was a delicious custard over sweet bread crackers. Since we’d had such good luck with or Big Five wine, Susie and Elizabeth finished half a bottle of wild dog wine hoping it’d bring them out the next day.

Day 17 – Kruger National Park – January 8

The next morning, we again met at 4:30 for coffee and tea then piled in the truck to beat the crowds into the park. Today would should have been called giraffe day. We saw them everywhere straight out of the park gates. We also saw another iridescent bird called the comb duck; the males have a large comb shaped beak.

We drove over to a watering hole where we finally saw a Nile crocodile up close. We were parked on a bridge with flowing water washing over it from the upper side of the dam to the river below. We watched the crocodile then were delighted to find a hippo right at eye level on the higher dam side.

The mornings could get a little chilly with the wind whipping around us, but luckily, Simon had a bag of blankets and we could cover ourselves up. We saw another majestic rhino in the distance laying down in a river bed. There are two types of rhinos in Kruger, white and black, but they are both a gray color. The white rhino’s original name referred to its wide mouth, but people misunderstood and called it the white rhino. When they found the other species, they naturally called it black. You can tell them apart by the shape of their mouth.

In the same riverbed we also saw our first giraffe fight. The males will fight over women and territory, swinging their long necks in wide arcs to hit each other. When they make contact, it looks intense but when they miss, it’s hilarious because they look like they are doing an interpretive dance. Apparently, they can hit each other so hard they can kill themselves or knock one another out. We hoped to see a double KO but weren’t that lucky.

As we headed back to camp, we spotted an adorable little klipspringer standing on the rock. These antelope walk on the tips of their hoofs so it looks like they are balancing on nothing. They jump from rock to rock and land perfectly on their toes. We arrived at camp and made our usual pre-dinner preparations.  For breakfast, John made us meatballs and hard-boiled eggs along with our usual yoghurt and muesli.  After finishing up our meal, we said good-bye to the three American girls; the second half of their safari was on a private game reserve. It was sad that they were leaving, but we now have so much more space in the car and everyone gets a window seat.  Simon took them to the park entrance gate while we lounged along the river at the camp. The private game reserves are a lot more expensive to stay in than the national park. Therefore, we assumed they would have the best guides, but Simon shared with us that they actually pay their staff the least and that’s where a lot of guides who are just starting out go to train before they can transfer to the main park.

Since we are driving to a new camp, we couldn’t sleep through the hottest part of the day. We started our afternoon drive around 1 pm, heading up north towards a camp called Sakara.  Simon received a report of a wild dog sighting, and we rushed over see if we could catch a glimpse. There were tons of cars parked along the side of the road in the tall grass, and we looked and looked until finally caught sight of an ear! A few cars mentioned they saw a whole pack down the road, so we rushed over hoping to get a glimpse, but didn’t make in time. Susie and Elizabeth blamed themselves for not finishing the whole bottle of wild dog wine and figured that’s why we only saw the ears.

The drive wasn’t too eventful in the first half. We’d begun to think we’d used up our luck on all the amazing sightings in our first couple days. Simon pulled us up to a large watering hole and there were no other cars around. Our luck hadn’t run out yet though; as we sat there more than 30 elephants came rushing out of the forest into the water. It was like a constant trickle of elephants, we kept seeing another five or so in the distance and could watch them run in.

We got to watch them spray and frolic, with the baby elephants rolling around under their mothers. We were paying so much attention to the elephants in front of us we didn’t even realize a large bull was grazing right behind our car. He couldn’t have been more than an arm’s reach away at times. We got to watch them alone for about 15 minutes before they all got up and headed back into the cover of the forest.

There were giraffes hanging out on the edge of the forest watching as the elephants splashed and played, and Susie was desperate to see one bend down and take a drink. Giraffes are most vulnerable when they’re drinking, so it takes a while for them to work up the courage to bend over. During the rain they can get water from the leaves, but when it’s drier they have to go to a watering hole like everyone else.

After a few false alarms, we finally got our wish and watched him spread his front legs wide and bed over. It was hilarious and totally worth the wait. After finishing his gulp he whipped his head back up and we caught the spray on the camera.

We were feeling pretty hungry and hot, so we stopped midafternoon to grab a bite at a rest area. On our way, we drove through herd after herd, or dazzle, of zebras and watched at least 20 cross the road in front of our car.  The rest area, unlike the camps, didn’t have any fences and there was a group of elephants grazing right next to the woman’s restroom. We ate another jaffle, the same sandwich we’d had in Namibia, this time filled with bobotie, while Ryan ordered a pie with buffalo meat. We saw more starlings up close and caught a bunch of small antelope grazing about.

Feeling rested, we took off and found a few cars parked along the side of the road. They’d spotted a leopard lounging in a tree. We all pulled out our binoculars and watched as he moved from an awkward, almost human-like, seated position on a branch to a more regal perch further down the branch. We watched for a while, then were delighted to see him scamper down the tree and slink off into the tall grass.  

Next, Simon took us to see the largest Baobab tree in the southern portion of the park, which stretches from the north, where they are more prevalent. These trees are enormous and can live for thousands of years. He said they can regrow their bark and elephants love to munch on them and use the trunks to scratch their bodies.

We next drove over to an open field with high grass where the white lion was allegedly last spotted. It took us awhile to find any lions at all and eventually Simon spotted them laying under a tree in the high grass. Since they had fed recently, they weren’t really moving, they were mostly shifting around and napping, only getting up to follow the shade as the sun moved across the sky.  Simon suggested we should wait and they would walk to a new shady spot soon. He was right and after about 30 minutes one by one the three lions moved and snuggled under a new tree. The white lion wasn’t present today, but Simon’s hopeful we’ll see him tomorrow.

It was getting late, so we headed back to camp. Along the road a hyena walked right along our car. He looked much more like a cute puppy than a scavenger and we wanted to take him home. We also finally saw a large herd of Cape buffalo, also known as an obstinacy of buffalo. We’d only seen older males either alone or in pairs, but as we drove north up to the plains, we began seeing larger herds of all the animals, with the Cape buffalo being no exception.

After watching the buffalo, and waiting for them to get out of the road, we finished the journey to our new campsite.  We checked into our rooms at Satara, mixing up our sleeping arrangements into a boys’ room and a girls’ room. The girls found a baby squirrel in the corner of their room that Ryan had to scoop up with a towel (we don’t know what kind of diseases these critters might have). These rooms all have thatched roofs and we think all sorts of critters and birds live up there. For dinner, John made us butter chicken curry and for dessert bananas Foster. We drank the rest of our wild dog wine, hoping for better luck, and a bottle called Rhino Tears; the proceeds of which go to preventing rhino poaching. We thought maybe this bottle would also help us see one up close.

Day 18 – Kruger National Park – January 9

Simon had learned the day before when we returned to camp that a pride of lions had killed a large Cape buffalo that afternoon. He wanted to get to the carcass first thing in the morning, so we left at 4:30 am to get a good seat. Prides will feed on the carcass for days until it’s done. They eat so much they can barely breathe, then lay down and rest, then eat some more. Simon let us know that since it was a fairly fresh kill, the dead animal probably wouldn’t be too smelly yet, but the lions can and will eat rotten meat.

When we arrived at the kill, it was everything we wanted and more.  We were especially excited to see this pride had 8 lion cubs gamboling around. We learned that lions are born with spots that typically fade when they’re older. The cubs were too cute, either working hard to eat or plopped on the ground, resting their little puffed out bellies.

There were a couple larger male lions hanging out on the outskirts, they’d already eaten their fill and were resting. Simon says when a kill first happens the animals are really aggressive with each other trying to get at the meat. At this stage everyone is pretty calm and takes turns munching on the carcass. We learned from other guides the buffalo had been pregnant and they cut her open and ate the calf yesterday.

We watched these lions for a couple hours along with at least 20 other cars. We couldn’t believe our luck that the lions made a kill in the middle of a wide road allowing cars to get close and surround them. They could care less about the cars being there and laid down under tires and in front of vehicles.

Finally, we pulled ourselves away and headed back to our spot yesterday to search for the white lion.  We learned the locals have named him Casper. He is one of 3 white lions currently living known to have been born in the wild. Simon has been watching him since he was a cub. We got lucky with our timing and spotted a group of lions as they were preparing to move to another shady area. For whatever reason they were feeling very photogenic today.

We waited about 30 minutes to watch them all get up and move. Poor Casper was covered in scars and it’s evident he’s a bit of a punching bag for the larger lions. We also learned about other rare animal colorings including the king cheetah, where the spots turn to stripes, and strawberry leopards that are more reddish brown in color.

We began our drive back to camp for breakfast and saw more of our savannah animals. First, we watched as two male giraffes fought in the distance, then we saw some baby zebra in a huge dazzle and were able to really see all sorts of unique and interesting stripe patterns. We saw a bull elephant spray his back off with water, trying to beat the morning heat. We also came across a saddle-billed stork hanging out in a watering hole with wildebeest, zebra, and a warthog.  

We made it back to camp exhausted and starving. For breakfast, John made us an egg bake with more bobotie meat. We had another drive scheduled for 3 pm, so we took naps and explored the camp. The boys found a giant monitor lizard on their porch.

Our first stop on our drive was a watering hole where a lot of Cape buffalo had gathered to drink. We didn’t see what this marabou stork did to antagonize him, but one buffalo spent about 20 minutes chasing the stork around. It was hilarious to watch.

Keeping in line with our stork sighting, we continued bird watching and came across our three favorites. The woodlands kingfisher, the glossy starling, and the lavender breasted roller. We still can’t believe Simon’s great eye and ability to identify animals in a split second. We are all bird people now.

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly. A large bull elephant appeared on the road behind us and for a quick second it was uncertain if he was in mating mode and would be aggressive and unpredictable, or if he was just curious. Simon has had a run in before and was in the driver seat ready to roll. Luckily, he passed us by without a second glance, so close we could see all his wrinkles and long eyelashes.

Our final exciting sighting was a couple of hyenas next to the road in a culvert. Evening was on its way, so a few hyenas were splitting off to scavenge, but a couple remained. We listened and could hear pups yipping in the culvert, unfortunately we never caught a glimpse.

Finally, we headed back for dinner, where John prepared meat and potatoes on rice; for dessert we had an apple tart with finger cookies. Tonight is our night drive, where we are scheduled to go with a park ranger on a two hour nocturnal hunt. We arrived at reception around 8 pm and loaded up with 10-15 other passengers in what was like a school bus on apocalyptic steroids. A few people were assigned spot lights to shine, looking for the reflection of animal eyes, while the bus driver/ranger drove until someone shouted out a sighting.

We saw a jackal, rabbit, and elephant all on the way to the lion kill we’d visited that morning. At the kill site the lions were all still actively eating the carcass, and we watched as a large male lion dragged it from the cubs and into the bushes. The most exciting thing happened when one of the male lions let out a loud roar and was answered by the other males and females. It was so loud and went on for a couple minutes – very cool to hear. As we finished our route, we also saw hippo, two more cheetahs, hyaena, and a genet (a type of small feline). The only downside it was hard to get good photos in the dark on a moving bus.

Day 19 – Kruger National Park – January 10

Sine we were out so late the previous night on our dark game drive, we were allowed to sleep in and met at 5:30. It was pouring rain when we woke up and there had been a large thunderstorm in the middle of the night. We loaded up all our bags in the trailer of the truck then donned ponchos and hopped in the open-air truck. There are rainflies we could lower to help with the downpour, but the window screens aren’t very transparent and pretty scratched up, so we opted to tough it out. Even with our rain gear, we were still soaking wet; the ponchos weren’t very waterproof and everyone ended up sitting in a small pond on their seat. The frogs came alive in the storm and we heard their loud croaking almost constantly. We came across our typical animals: zebras, giraffes, elephants, and antelopes; they were all wet and covered in mud. Our favorite were the soaked baboons.

Our animal sightings weren’t too high that morning and Elizabeth, for one, was over it. We cruised around for a couple hours seeing more turtles and African snails, and finally a tawny eagle. Because we didn’t stop much to look at any critters, we arrived at the rest camp about an hour before John was due to make us our final breakfast, but we all appreciated the time to try to dry off. Our last meal consisted of eggs and sausage simmered in a tomato sauce. We said good-bye to John and thanked him for all his delicious meals.

As we loaded back in the open truck one final time, we headed for the main gate. Along the way we came across a huge traffic jam; there was a leopard in the bush. We waited our turn and slowly creeped forward. The other drivers were being ridiculous and cutting across the two-lane road trying to cut ahead and made traffic even worse. It probably took us 20 minutes to go 20 feet. It was a nice farewell from Kruger to see a leopard right as we were pulling out.

We exited the park around noon, and headed back to the hotel to transfer into our minivan for the 5-hour journey back to Johannesburg. The drive home was quiet as we all napped and tried to dry off. Eventually, we arrived at the airport and we said good-bye to Susie and Mike. They had two long flights ahead of them and we were so grateful they made the journey to visit us. Next, we piled into an Uber and headed for our Airbnb in Johannesburg. That night we did nothing but eat popcorn and watch Netflix.

Day 20 – Johannesburg – January 11

We slept in as long as we could, but were still up by 7. It was strange being alone again; we lounged around the whole morning working on future trip planning and catching up on our neglected blog. Finally, around noon we walked over to the Checkers grocery store to get some food for lunch and dinner; it seems like we gained some serious weight, and we definitely spent some serious money, while on safari. The afternoon was spent catching up with family and watching television, until Ryan made lamb and roasted potatoes for dinner. It was so nice to have a day to relax after two weeks of constant activity, Michael and Susie probably need a vacation from their vacation.

Day 21 – Johannesburg – January 12

After a lazy mourning we took an Uber over to Rosebank Catholic Church for their 10:30 service. It’s so nice to have mass in English and the church was beautiful. After we walked up the street to a restaurant called Marble for a delicious brunch. The restaurant was on the third floor and had great views. Ryan got an old fashioned while Elizabeth had a glass of wine, and we enjoyed steak and cauliflower, respectively.

That night we continued our tradition of being lazy. We now officially have people coming to visit us in Thailand in February and Bali in March, so we relaxed but also looked at accommodation and activity options in those areas. It’s not easy constantly being on vacation.

Day 22 – Johannesburg – January 13

That morning, we ate the rest of our cornflakes; Ryan loves when he can eat cereal and milk while watching TV on the couch. We are leaving for Tanzania tomorrow and need to have a flight out of the country to enter the country, so we finally bought our flights from Zanzibar to Dubai. It’s kind of thrilling traveling like this and going wherever and whenever you can get the cheapest plane ticket.

That afternoon we took an Uber across town to go to Johannesburg CityRock, the largest and tallest indoor rock gym in Africa. We’d been suspicious we’d gotten fat and out of shape and this proved it. Normally we can spend hours at the gym doing 20-30 routes, today we struggled with the most basic routes and neither of us got to 10. It was an awesome gym though and the most American feeling one we’d been too. They took safety very seriously, which is a nice change of pace from most of Europe. Ryan managed to bust out a final challenging route and by the end our hands were hurting and we were so sweaty. We split a burger from the restaurant next door called the Fussy Vegan. It was an Impossible Burger, supposed to taste like meat, and wasn’t too bad. That night we tried to eat all the remaining food in the house and packed for our early morning departure to Zanzibar.

Day 23 – Johannesburg – January 14

The Uber arrived at 4:30 am and we’d both had a fitful night of sleep due to the mosquito attacks. The airport was a breeze to get through though, and we were in the lounge eating a delicious breakfast by 5:15. Our flight left at 7, and after a quick 3.5-hour flight, we’d land in our last African country. We’ve loved our time in South Africa. It’s crazy to think of all the activities we did and things we saw. Elizabeth couldn’t imagine turning thirty doing something less exciting. From seeing giant sharks up close, hiking, drinking copious amounts of wine, to seeing the Big Five at Kruger several days in a row, we definitely lived it up.

Things we’ve learned in South Africa:

  1. Homeowners insurance costs are lower if you put an electric fence or barbed wire along the top of the wall around your property. The effect for outsiders though, is never truly feeling like you’re in a welcoming place.
  2. South African airport lounges are a strong competitor in the global field of fancy lounges. The food was delicious and had a ton of variety.
  3. There is such a thing as too much wine.

Namibia

Day 1 – Windhoek to Ombo Rest Camp – November 29

On our long night flight from Cairo to Johannesburg we were able to get business class tickets for only 50K United points. We think they were so cheap because the seats didn’t lay completely flat, but like 85% flat so you kind of slid down your seat the whole night.  Ryan adapted better than Elizabeth.  Or maybe Egyptians don’t do a lot of business in South Africa and they needed to fill some seats.  We left at 11 pm and landed in Johannesburg at 7 am. The lounge in Johannesburg was excellent, Ryan even got to take a shower.  On both our flights around southern Africa the flight attendants walked up and down the aisle spraying permethrin into the air, to help eliminate the spread of diseases like zika and malaria. Our final flight from Johannesburg to Windhoek was 2 hours and the landing was the bumpiest Elizabeth has ever encountered. The pilot warned us coming in that the hot air would make it turbulent and he didn’t lie.

We had to separate at passport control and Elizabeth was asked zero questions while Ryan was grilled with at least 10, but they let us through nonetheless. We found our pick-up driver, an old white man named Surel. We finally found a place where our Google phone plan doesn’t work, so we bought a SIM card and headed off to get our car. We’d barely gotten on the highway and we saw our first bit of wildlife. Baboons are like deer here and hang out along the side of the highway. Surel told us how he is a born and bred Nambian and his ancestors were Dutch and German. Namibia was an old German colony prior to WW1. During our drive it started to sprinkle and he was quite excited about the rain. Namibia is experiencing its worst drought in the last 130 years, which has lasted over 5 years.  The country needs water desperately and he told us we’d notice how skinny the animals look.

We assumed we were renting from some sort of large company, but as he pulled into a neighborhood then up to a house, we started having suspicions to the contrary. We got the best deal with Namibia 4×4, who are a family run company, the children of Surel, and they own just 6 cars. It was starting to get hot as they explained everything about the 4×4 truck and how to use the tent and all the camping supplies. People must think that cars here are unbreakable because they told us horror stories about people driving up sand dunes, into animals, into rivers and even the ocean. Yikes. We finally set off to the grocery store around 2 pm.

We hadn’t slept much on our flight and were starting to feel sleep deprived. We filled two shopping carts with fruits, veggies, grains, dairy, and meat trying to stock up before leaving their biggest town. Our car has a 40 L refrigerator in the bed of the truck. We picked up a few packs of beer then loaded it all in the car. Our first camp site was an hour north of Windhoek called Ombo Rest Camp. As we drove along the interstate, on the left hand-side, we passed a lot of people living in tarps under trees and in small houses made of cardboard. The wealth gap in Namibia seems to be quite substantial. We also passed a lot of goats, more baboons, and what appeared to be pheasants all hanging out along the highway.

We arrived around 5:15 and it was time to set up camp. The tent and everything came down pretty easy and we spent a couple hours doing laundry, organizing our food and clothes in the cab. We walked down to the watering hole to see what animals were around and saw springbok, an antelope, pheasants, and turtles. On our walk back we stopped by the only other camper car on-site, owned by an older Austrian couple. They were just finishing their 3-week trip traveling the loop in the opposite direction. They gave us some tips and we said goodnight.

We were a little late making dinner and learned a valuable lesson: don’t cook in the dark. The bugs were crazy after the sun set but Ryan still managed to make us some sausage and pasta. We were sleeping near a group of trees that you had to go under to reach the restroom, whenever we walked through, we’d scare the birds who would violently fly out of the trees and scare us in return. The girls’ bathroom was also housed a giant flat brown spider, we will Google what it is when we have internet, but it looks threatening. Welcome to Africa.

Day 2 – Waterberg Plateau – November 30

Sunlight came pouring into our tent around 6 am after a not so restful night of sleep. We’d parked as level as we could but the slight angle slid us to the bottom of the tent all night. Elizabeth went to fill up the water to make tea and a bunch of ants poured out of the spigot into the pot. When not full of ants, the water in Namibia is all drinkable which is a nice change of pace from Egypt as it all comes straight from water wells.

Ryan made a delicious breakfast of oatmeal and fruit. We spent the morning organizing again, the car doesn’t have a lot of space and it’s easiest to know where everything is at all times. We walked back over to the watering hole and were delighted to also see giraffe and ostriches. Giraffe trying bend down to drink water is one of the funniest things we’ve ever seen.

Finally, it was time to get back on the road. We drove back south to go to a gas station to collect the things we’d forgotten from the night before. The small shopping center was a mad house. They have Black Friday in Namibia, but they have no Thanksgiving and they were surprised to hear we have it in America too, and everyone rushes to the discounts. We fought our way through the store and checkout line.  After getting back to our car Ryan literally had to push a guy out of the car door who was trying to sell us a carved tree seed.

We were back on the road and vowed never to stop for groceries on a Black Friday/Saturday ever again. We had about a 2.5-hour drive to our next campsite at Waterberg Plateau National Park. Along the way we saw a ton of warthogs eating the grass at the edge of the highway. They were so skinny you could see all of their ribs. We arrived at the park and headed into the campsite to pick a spot. A huge group of Namibian kids were camping at the front so we naturally drove to the back for a little peace and quiet. It’s so beautiful here, we have incredible views of the red plateau face. We arrived during a thunderstorm, so we had to wait it out before setting up camp.

The rest of the afternoon we lounged, did more laundry, and enjoyed the view of the cliffs. We went for a walk around the park hiking towards the pool and restaurant then back down the giant hill. It was pretty hot out and we were sweaty. For dinner that night Ryan had our first braai (see southern African BBQ – which we are told is different, but we’re not quite sure how) of sausage, mushrooms and onions plus we sautéed some more mushrooms and onions to get our butter fix. We drank beer and chatted, excited to be done with dinner and clean up before the sun went down.

Day 3 – Waterberg Plateau – December 1  

We were awoken the next morning at 6 am with the rising sun and loudest bird squawks we’d ever heard. We heard the cry of baboons then a huge troop came pouring in through the camp screeching, running amok and knocking over all the metal trashcans. They tore through the campsite then back into the forest. Finally, a park ranger came around carrying a trash bag and sling shot to clean up their mess. We watched her scare off a few, very effective.

For breakfast we made omelets, bacon, and cereal. We planned to hike the ridge trail today called Mountain View and wanted to get a head start before it got too hot. We set off around 9 and first walked up the long, paved road passed the pool and the rooms and lodges, where people not on a budget, were sleeping. We saw more warthogs and baboons and the trail up through the forest. The beginning of the trail we were attacked by all sorts of flying bugs; as we climbed a little higher the bugs died out and we had to scramble up the boulders. We were careful where we put our hands and feet as we climbed but luckily only saw lizards.  Elizabeth is convinced she is going to get stung or bit.

The top was absolutely gorgeous and you could see out far onto the plain and the surrounding cliffs of the plateau. We actually got decent internet service on the top so we booked our campsite for the following night. After enjoying the view and being careful not to fall off the edge we began to look for the way down. The trail is supposed to be a loop and we’d been following white foot step markers the whole way up. We looked for probably 20 minutes, trying different routes and rock cuts but never found the next set of footprints. We decided to just hike down the way we came to avoid getting lost.

Back at the bottom we were hot and sore from all the rocks, our bodies are getting old. We walked back to camp and reheated the leftover food from the night before. We are using both wood fires and a giant propane tank to do all our cooking. After more lounging and laundry and watching storms roll passed us, we decided to head to the pool and cool off. The pool is actually pretty large, smelled of chlorine, but had green, cloudy water. There were a bunch of kids already swimming and playing around and we jumped right in to cool off.

We stayed and lounged for about an hour before the clouds darkened and began to threaten rain. We hurriedly packed up and headed back to camp. We spent the rest of the evening in our tent watching Out of Africa while rain and heavy wind whipped the walls of our tent. We managed to find a break in the rain long enough to run out and make bowls of cereal for dinner. We’ve decided to try to reset our bodies to their circadian rhythms, which means waking up and going to sleep with the sun. It was dark around 8:15 and we were asleep by 8:30. At 9 pm a loud bang roused us only to discover a baboon was knocking over our metal trashcan, Elizabeth tried to scare him off with yells and a flashlight but he couldn’t have been less fazed. The rest of the night passed smoothly.

Day 4 – Mopane Village – December 2  

The next morning the birds began squawking around 6 again, it wouldn’t be such a horrible wake up if it didn’t sound like they were doing it right in our tent. By 6:15 the baboons were on their tirade through the site. It was still windy and a little chilly the next morning, but we climbed down when they were gone and began to pack up and prepare breakfast. We didn’t realize they’d returned and before we knew what was happening a huge baboon snuck up behind Ryan and stole the bananas we had sitting on the tailgate. Ryan was right there cooking; these monkeys are bold.

The whole morning was spent chasing monkeys around with our small shovel while the other cooked breakfast. The guy camping across from us left his cooler out and the monkeys threw it open and ran off with a bag of uncooked rice. By the time slingshot lady arrived we were happy to see her. Unlike yesterday her 3 rocks didn’t faze the baboons, they kept coming back and she had to continue to shot at them. Ryan thinks it would been an amazing job to walk around picking up trash and shooting baboons.

We showered and packed up as another storm rolled in, then it was back on the long sand/gravel road to get to the highway. On our way up north, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. Our truck has an auxiliary fuel tank so we can carry 120 liters of fuel and hopefully go 1200 km between refuels. We also popped in another grocery store to pick up a few last-minute items and more beer and cookies.

We drove about another hour and a half up north to the southern edge of Etosha National Park. Staying inside any national park grounds is about twice as expensive as staying outside it. We are spending the next three nights in the park and this first night right outside the front entrance at a campsite called Mopane Village Resort. We pulled up to reception and received a warm welcome. Apparently, we are the only guests in the entire resort. We found a cute camping spot with an outdoor toilet and shower then set up our tent.

It was early afternoon and pretty hot so we walked back to reception to swim in the pool and use their Wi-Fi. The pool was pretty small and full of dust and dead bugs, but the cool water was worth it. After a long dip the clouds became overcast again and we tried to use the weak Wi-Fi to figure out our Namibian travel path.

For dinner Ryan BBQed chicken with Peri Peri sauce and corn on the cob. We sautéed more onions and bell pepper with garlic. Everything was delicious, Elizabeth said she’s never eaten such good camp food. The camp site was eerily quiet with no monkeys or birds to disturb us.

Day 5 – Etosha Park – December 3  

We had more oatmeal and nectarines for breakfast before tearing down our camp. We’ve gotten pretty good at unloading and loading, but it’s more work than we’d both remembered. Even doing the dishes takes longer. Finally, we got back on the road to Etosha Park one of the largest national parks in Namibia. Etosha means “Great White Place” and was named for the 4,731 km2 (1,827 mi2) salt pan (seasonally dry lakebed) in the middle of the park. We entered through the Anderson Gate to the south and headed to Okaukuejo the main reception area. We booked three nights in the far western campsite called Olifantsrus and we were hoping to split our time between the west and eastern portions of the park.

They are in low season, just between the wet and dry seasons, and there are very few tourists. Still the national park staff wouldn’t work with us to split our campsites and really didn’t have a great attitude overall. Apparently, their national parks spots aren’t as coveted as in the US. We bought a map book which also has pictures of all the animals you can find in the park. We decided to drive a little east to an overlook called Pan. The roads aren’t super well marked and everything is gravel. On our drive out to the Etosha Pan (an old lake that formed millions of years ago) we saw a bunch of springbok, steenbok, ostrich, and oryx.

After a quick ice cream break, we began our long trek west to get to our campsite. We tried to go down some secondary roads hoping to catch sight of a rhino or lion but, unfortunately, we weren’t successful. We saw a giraffe along the side of the road grazing, then stopped at our first man-made watering hole called Ozonjutji M’Bari. This was a very exciting stop, there were 6 elephants, wildebeest, springbok, ostriches, and a cape fox. We pulled our car up and enjoyed watching the elephants throw water and mud on themselves to cool off.

Back on the road we saw herds of zebra crossing the road and running in the plains. We saw both the plains zebra and the Hartmann’s mountain zebra. At the next watering hole, called Sonderkop, we saw more elephants and other animals in the water. And on the final stretch to our campsite we stopped by some elephants grazing right next to the road.

Our campsite is called Olifantsrus and is the site of elephant culling back in the early 1980s. The park was having an issue with large elephant populations overgrazing the land and threatening the biodiversity of the park.  The kicker is the unusually large herds of elephants migrating into the park were fleeing poaching from the north and south.  Sadly, the decision had to be made to reduce the population. They followed three rules: entire families had to be killed together and quickly to not traumatize the animals, all the meat needed to be used, and all the elephants would be used for scientific research. In all they killed 524 elephants. The metal bars they used to string them up are still standing along with some elephant skulls.

We pulled up and unloaded camp. The entire facility is surrounded by an electric fence and barbed wire, so we shouldn’t be afraid to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The camp also has a manmade waterhole and hide. You walk over a large elevated platform, over the electric fence, into a two-story building immediately adjacent to the watering hole. The bottom floor is all glass, while the second floor consists of large open windows. We watched the sun set but didn’t see any animals. For dinner Ryan made curry sausage and fried potatoes, another delicious meal. While cooking, a butterfly wouldn’t leave him alone and would just hang out on his shoulder while he worked.  Just like a Disney princess. We slept well that night, it even got a little chilly.

Day 6 – Etosha Park – December 4  

We had bacon and eggs again for breakfast then headed over to the viewing platform. We packed a bag and planned to spend the day their looking for critters. The benches are not particularly comfortable and you have to whisper so as not spook any animals, but we sat there for hours. We saw a few oryx some zebra, and even a jackal. The hardest things to identify are the birds, but Ryan’s becoming a pro.

Around noon a huge storm blew in and we had to run back to camp to put our tent down due to heavy rain and wind. Not wanting to be stuck in the car, we went back to the viewing platform but didn’t see anything. We stuck it out until 1:30 still not seeing anything, then went back to camp to start cooking lunch/dinner. Ryan got the fire going and made rice, chicken, veggies, and dumped a delicious korma sauce on all of it.

The camp was packed tonight, almost every space full. A group showed up without a reservation but since you can’t drive at night through the park, and they lock all the gates at sunset, they didn’t have much choice but find a place to pitch their tents. The cloud cover hid sunset from us but we walked back over to the hide around 8:30 to see if we could see any nocturnal animals. The night before they reported seeing hyenas between 9:30 and 10:30. The light the area up with red lights so you can see out into the watering hole. We lasted until 9:45 without seeing anything and were too tired to keep looking. It poured rain all night but we stayed cozy and dry in our tent.

Day 7 – Etosha Park – December 5  

Since it was still cloudy when we woke up, we managed to lounge inside the tent until 7:30. We ate yogurt and granola for breakfast then packed up the car to do some more driving safari. We headed west towards Dolomite Camp and passed two watering holes. The holes were vacant but along our drive we saw more giraffes, wildebeest, springbok, oryx and zebra all around the edge of the road.

We arrived to Dolomite camp which is located along the ridge of a hill. The reception people weren’t super friendly, a common theme here, but we walked up to the pool to eat our PB&J and potato chips. The pool and rooms looked really nice with a great view and when Ryan asked about price, they said it was $340 per night with the special discount; there is a reason we are sleeping on top of a car. On our way out we read some of the guest comments and at least half of them were people complaining about the facilities or staff.  We’ll spend our $340 elsewhere.

We drove back to camp checking the same abandoned watering holes. We saw more of the same animals and made it back right as a storm blew in. We spent the next several hours sitting in the cab of the truck as the rain continued to pour and pour. We had just enough time to sneak in a fire and make dinner. There is a raw food line in the north of Namibia where raw beef can’t be brought into the southern portion of the country due to disease concerns. We weren’t clear on all the rules, so for dinner we took all our leftover meat and put it in one giant pot, which actually turned out to be delicious. The campsite was empty tonight with just the family next to our camp. We kept the fire going until around 9 then climbed up to bed.

Day 8 – Palmwag – December 6

We packed up the tent and began our journey out of the park. We drove southwest towards the Galton Gate stopping at a couple watering holes along the way. We saw a few more Oryx and a couple of cute jackals. It took about an hour and a half to get out of the park, then we drove another hour to get to a town called Kamanjab to buy a few groceries. Buying groceries is always stressful because we are obviously tourists driving up in our rental car and you are immediately bombarded with people offering to “watch your car” or trying to sell you stuff.

We bought our groceries and filled up on gas then hit the gravel roads. It was another 2 hours to our destination called Palmwag. We drove up the Grootberg Pass, this mountain pass is steep, gravel, and has zero guardrails- but Ryan sailed through without issue. The mountains were absolutely beautiful and a nice change in scenery from Etosha. Our car doesn’t have a phone input so we have been listening to whatever Namibian radio we can find. We stumbled upon a made-for-radio dramatization called Love is Not Rage. By the time we joined, in the story Doris was a survivor of domestic violence and her husband James was trying to convince her to come home. James was using language like “I own her” and “my family is my business”.  The story consists of everyone trying to tell him that times are now changing and you shouldn’t hit or own your wife or children. The story wrapped up and apparently this is all part of a larger “Love is Not…” series, hopefully they can curb the domestic violence across Africa.

We ended up crossing the raw food boundary a second time, by about 5 miles, to get to our next site. The police officer was very friendly clarifying it was just for beef and as long as it was cooked, we could bring it back down. We’d bought all our meat in the south, but once it crosses the line it can’t be proven to have come from the south and thus must be considered contaminated. We pulled up to Palmwag Lodge and it was definitely one of the nicer places we were staying. Since they don’t have a fence around the property, we signed a waiver warning us of lions and elephants, though we never saw any.  They said no one had been eaten yet.

We spent the afternoon on their Wi-Fi hanging by the pool and splurged for a burger and draft beer. That night we sat at our incredible campsite eating sausage and vegetables overlooking a beautiful valley. After the sun set and we finally had a clear night and barely any light pollution. We realized the GoPro we’ve been carrying around for 5 months has an incredible night mode we never took advantage of.

Day 9 – Igowati in Khorixas – December 7

We were sad to pack up the next morning, so we stayed until our 10 am checkout to take advantage of all the internet we could.  We still had to buy our plane ticket leaving Namibia. Finally back on the gravel road, we drove 1.5 hours through more mountains to the Petrified Forest, Versteende Woud. The roads are like a crazy rollercoaster with a lot of blind hills.

The Petrified Forest was discovered in 1940 by a few farmers and despite its name, isn’t really a forest. The ground is covered by fossilized pieces of wood that traveled from central Africa all the way to Namibia. The largest trunk is 37 meters in length. The cells of the tree were replaced by silica, magnesium, and iron when the tree was buried by sands and has been slowly uncovered by erosion. This, like our campsite in Etosha, are projects of the Millennium Challenge Corporation, founded by President George W. Bush to boost economic growth and reduce poverty in developing countries. Our tour guide told us about the program and how the US provides funds to build homes and facilities for the park workers and gives them training.

He walked with us for about 30 minutes all around the broken wood fossils, which littered the ground. We also got to see the national plant of Namibia, the Welwitschia, which is endemic only to Namibia and southern Angola.These plants can live for over 2000 years and the two we looked at were children, at 200 years old. You can also tell the difference between male and female by the inside having pollen or cones. We saw one that was 15 years old, which is too young to even have revealed its gender, which happens when it’s 20 years old.

We got back in the car and drove another 30 minutes to the town of Khorixas where we were staying at the Igowati Hotel and Campsite. The staff were super friendly and the lodge is not particularly busy; we are the only campers. They even helped us fix our clogged propane tank. We walked across the street to the small grocery store to buy more beer and chips, only to find out they don’t sell alcohol in Namibia after 1 pm on Saturdays nor all day on Sunday. Ryan will have to ration.

We spent the afternoon enjoying more Wi-Fi and lounging for a bit at our pool then the campsite in the shade. There were even some springbok and peacocks walking around. That night Ryan wasn’t feeling great so we made popcorn for dinner and lounged to our hearts content.

Ryan took a turn for the worst later that evening and began violently puking. It was around 9 pm and the house across the street was apparently the town’s nightclub and bar, or so we assumed from the blaring music and partying noises. Poor Ryan was having to climb up and out of the tent to horrible, loud music just to be sick. Eventually we got the security guards to open a room so he could sleep near a toilet. They charge everything per person here, so Elizabeth slept in the tent.

Day 10 – Spitzkoppe – December 8

Thankfully when we woke up Ryan felt much better, he hadn’t slept much the night before but the demon was purged.  It was hands down the worst stomach illness of his life.  The only thing we ate that was any different were the ice cream bars from the store, so maybe that did him in.  Betrayed by his sweet tooth.  We loaded up and hit the road headed for Spitzkoppe, a large granite mountain formation that’s known for good rock climbing. We wouldn’t be climbing there as it’s summer and the rocks are super hot to the touch.

It was a 3-hour drive and Elizabeth finally had to learn to drive stick. Ryan was a good and patient teacher and she eventually mastered it on the empty gravel roads driving on the left-hand side and shifting with her left hand. It only got sketchy when children would try running up to and/or in front of the car to entice us towards their families’ craft goods pop-up on the side of the road when we were cruising at 80 km/hr.

Eventually we found the park and had our choice of campsites. The park is pretty large, somewhere around 5-10 miles wide and there are plenty of remote sites. We drove around and finally settled on spot 11B in the western portion of the park, allegedly with the best sunset views. We set up tent with the sun already burning us.

After Billy goat-ing around (what Elizabeth calls hiking and climbing around) on the rocks for a while we found a section in the shade and watched the clouds dissolve in the sun. This place is paradise for scrambling around on rocks without having to risk life and limb. A man came around our site asking for food in the afternoon, he was wearing what appeared to be an official park shirt, but didn’t speak much English. We gave him a PB&J and some water and he was on his way.  These sites are remote without running water or electricity and the bathrooms don’t have running water.  We saw other staff driving around in a pick-up truck, but this guy was just walking.  Ryan’s not convinced he worked for the park at all, but we weren’t going to refuse him a sandwich.

As the sun began to set, clouds rolled in. Elizabeth was very disappointed as this is supposed to be a great place to view stars.  We made pasta for dinner then climbed in the tent as the wind picked up and the temperature dropped. That night we lazed in the tent finishing Out of Africa and enjoying the cold.

Day 11 – Spitzkoppe – December 9

We woke up to thick fog and chilly weather.  The mountains that once loomed over us were now completely shrouded in haze.  The breeze had died down, so we cooked up some oatmeal and hot tea over our newly fixed burner.  It might actually be too strong now; we’re worried we’ll burn through all of our gas before we return it!  After finishing breakfast and cleaning up we decided to scamper over the rocks around our campsite.  The fog was slowly receding, but the sky was still blanketed in thick gray clouds.  Ryan had to put on his jacket for the first time since leaving Europe. We even saw a couple of adorable rock dassies scampering around. (They are right in the middle of the below photo).              

After an hour of Billy goating and trying to get a cell signal we decided to hike back over to the main area to see the rock bridge and the rock pool. It was about a 2-mile hike over the gravel roads between different fallen rocks. Eventually we made it to the rock pool formation and the sun was out in full force. We walked up the incline of the mountain and found a pool that was part natural and part dammed up full of murky water. We laid in the sun for a bit, but didn’t get in.

We realized we could safely make it all the way to the top of the formation by walking up more steep inclines and headed to the peak. The rocks are sharp and we cut ourselves from time to time but the hike was overall quite easy.

At the top we were able to look across and see the different mountains listed on the map, Pontok Mountains. The tallest Gross Spitzkoppe is about 1,700 m tall. We sat as long as we could in the hot sun and cool breeze then made our way back down and over to the rock bridge.

The rock bridge, or arch, was surrounded by birds and beautiful lizards that colored red, white and blue. We sat for a long while in the shadow of the arch watching the male lizard do a mating dance, which looked like he was trying to do pushups, and birds build their nests. It felt like we were watching the Planet Earth series.

The sun was hot so we headed back to camp to make lunch and lounge in the shade, we still had to hike 2 miles back. For lunch Elizabeth attempted to make grilled cheese and they didn’t turn out terrible. We came back out of hiding a few hours later to climb around the rocks more and watch the sunset.

African sunsets are everything we’d hoped they would be according to the Lion King. The temperature started dropping pretty quick after it set and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. We would have had great stars if it wasn’t for the pesky full moon. We now understand how stories of people doing things by moonlight would work, because it was ridiculously bright. We sat around a fire eating pasta and ragu sauce enjoying the few stars we could see before calling it a night.

Day 12 – Cape Cross – December 10

We ate breakfast and packed up camp to head to the shower area. This is the only sight we’ve stayed at that didn’t have shower facilities or running water close by. The shower areas were by the front gate and adorable. All outdoor but in cute wooden huts and with hot water. We attempted to find the cave painting but were unsuccessful and the roads got pretty bad. Namibian “maps” are really starting to get annoying.

We drove about 2.5 hours through the desert and to the coast. We drove along the coast and there were so many mirages you couldn’t tell what was real ocean or fake. We made it up to Cape Cross where there is a seal reserve you can visit. It costs $10 a person though, so we skipped it and headed to our campsite along the beach, thinking we’d see seals for free.

After setting up and doing laundry Ryan made chicken curry with rice – delicious. We walked along the beach which was pretty rough with the tide coming in. We’d notice people packing up surf boards when we’d arrived so this must be a decent surfing area. The beach was beautiful but plagued with dead seal carcasses and washed up jelly fish. Walking became a hazard due to the amount of broken jelly fish pieces everywhere and half rotten seals. Elizabeth read online that the seal colony is also full of dead animals, so very circle of life.

We spent the evening lounging at camp trying not to get blown away by the strong coastal wind. We played cards and listened to Christmas music trying to get in the season. For dinner we were lazy and just ate popcorn and cereal.

Day 13 – Swakopmund – December 11

We had a short 1.5-hour drive south the next morning to get to Swakopmund and we just followed the coast south. We weren’t able to go further north to the Skeleton Coast where you can see a lot of ship wrecks on the high sand dunes, but we still saw one as we drove along. Swakopmund and Walvis Bay are two fairly large towns right next to each other. We filled up on gas and groceries at a large Spar store.

We found our campsite, Tiger Reef, and parked the car before heading into town to walk around. The whole town is maybe two miles wide and very walkable. We walked along the beach and up to a German beer garden called Swakopmund Brauhaus. Namibia is an old German colony so a lot of the white people have German or Dutch heritage and German is widely spoken. This town in particular has a lot of German architecture in its buildings.

We were splurging and eating out, not something we’ve really done here. We each got draft beer then a shared a pork knuckle and jäger schnitzel. They were delicious and tasted just like Germany. We got another beer and closed the place down.

After we walked through town and back towards the jetty we walked out on the large pier and enjoyed the cold ocean wind. We could see ducks diving down and luckily no dead seals. We even saw some oil rigs in the background. We continued walking along the ocean and back towards our camp.

That night, having internet again, we did some trip planning and saw a bunch of pictures of our new niece Violet. We’ll always remember Facetiming her for the first time in a parking lot in Swakopmund, Namibia. For dinner we ate our leftover vegetables and drank some Namibian wine called Etosha Blend, it’s very strong. Our lullaby was the crashing waves and our night light a full moon.

Day 14 – Walvis Bay – December 12  

We took our time getting ready the next day since we had a short 30-minute to Walvis Bay. Before going into town, we wanted go to go Dune 7, a large sand dune outside of the city you can climb up. When we arrived, there were a few families playing around at the base of the dune and we walked up the shallow slope to begin our decent. We had flip flops on and the sand was soft. About halfway up the sand got much hotter and at times felt like it was burning our feet. It was an exhausting workout but we made it to the top and had incredible views over the other sand dunes.

We piled back in the car and headed into Walvis Bay proper. There are a bunch of rigs and boats shooting seismic data out in the water. Walvis Bay is a very industrial town and not as charming as Swakopmund with its German village feel. There was also a good bit more poverty here and lower income housing. As we made our way over to the flamingo viewing area, we entered the fancy part of town with gorgeous, sprawling homes facing the water. We parked and walked along the beach watching the white and pink flamingos pump their legs and eat whatever they kicked up with their feet.

We drove a little further south to what Google called Safe View Point 2, which were small road pull offs where you could see more of the lagoon and flamingos in the distance.

We were pretty hungry so we headed to our campsite called Lagoon Chalet. We found an awesome site under a large tree. The campsite is in the middle of the nicer part of town so our site was neighboring someone’s house. Ryan reheated the chicken curry leftovers and Elizabeth enjoyed a PB&J. The afternoon was spent drinking and trip planning. We have a firmer grip on where we are going for the next couple of months and need to start figuring out our future beds to sleep in.

For dinner that night Ryan made Peri Peri grilled chicken with a delicious sautéed hash of potatoes, onions and brussels sprouts. The tree that provided such great shade also shed all over us and our things, making cooking a bit of a challenge. It was another windy night but at least we weren’t by any all-night clubs.

Day 15 – Solitaire – December 13  

Before heading out of town we stopped by a post office to send out a few cards. We drove back through Walvis Bay and no one harassed us or tried to sell us anything while we were walking around the post office. It was magical.  We had a 3.5-hour drive today before our first stop. Along the way we noticed a heavily-stickered sign for the Tropic of Capricorn on the side of the road; we didn’t realize we’d pass this boundary.

The geology in Namibia is so diverse and beautiful. In just 3 hours we drove through different mountain formations and desert. At one point we noticed all the fields around us were filled with zebra, oryx, and springbok- more than we’d ever seen in the national park.

We stopped in a small town of Solitaire which is known for its famous apple pie. We headed into the bakery, which was attached to a gas station and in the middle of nowhere, and ordered a game and pepper pie, cinnamon roll, cookie and a piece of apple pie. It was actually more like apple streusel, just another German influence. Everything was okay, a solid 5 out of 10 but it was a fun experience to stop and eat at a bakery in the middle of the Namib Desert. Apparently, since the owner Moose died a few years ago the bakery recipes just haven’t been the same.

We had a quick 30-minute drive back into the mountains to find our next campsite, Weltvrende. It was right next to nothing, out in the middle of nowhere, but actually pretty nice. We were the only campers, but plenty of people were staying in the lodges. We got Wi-Fi in the lounge and sat in the shade and walked around the grounds. For dinner that night we made chicken curry and rice, while the lodgers ate a 5-course dinner.  We still preferred our curry.

Day 16 – Sossusvlei – December 14  

After another morning of granola and yogurt, not that either one of us was complaining, and finishing the download of our new book on tape, we hit the road towards Sossusvlei. Sossusvlei is one of the main attractions in Namibia. It’s a national park, home to beautiful mountains, the Sesriem Canyon, massive sand dunes, and the various vleis (strings of old dried pans). It only took about 45 minutes to make it to the main gate. After paying our $11.50 day fee, both of us and the car – not a bad deal, we were off.

Stop one was Sesriem Canyon. Most of the park is covered by a tar road, which is wonderful cause we are so sick of gravel, but most of the sights require a short trip on a gravel road to get to them. The road to Sesriem was pretty awful but we made it to the parking area and walked towards the canyon. Good thing they had fences and signs because you could quite easily drive straight into the canyon. It’s not clearly visible until you’re on the edge.  Before that you might think your just coming up to a slight dip in the topography if you notice it at all. We explored the upper section for a while before climbing down into the canyon itself.

From the top you can hear the calls of birds and monkeys who live in the walls and crevices. We walked down and there found some water from the recent rains and lots of mud. We skirted around the edges as well as we could and enjoyed the geology. You could see the different layers and watch the sand grain get coarser (i.e. larger, for you non-geologists) until they were huge conglomerates.

Next, we hopped on the paved road towards Elim Dune. The dune itself wasn’t super impressive but it was a nice spot to eat our PB&Js and watch the oryx roam. We got tomato flavored Fritos and they taste like a Frito that’s been dipped in ketchup, not sure why we’re surprised. We started listening to our new book on tape. The car doesn’t have an aux plug in so we listen to it using our headphones and we must look like we hate each other to anyone passing us.

Next, we stopped at Dune 45 or what we thought was Dune 45. We got the car momentarily stuck in the sand, but Ryan power drove us out of there. Since it was early afternoon and already pretty hot, and we’d hiked Dune 7, we didn’t feel like we needed to crest #45. Driving about 5 minutes down the road we saw the sign for the actual Dune 45.  They look identical. The real one had people making the long climb up. Namibia says this is the most photographed dune in the world, probably due to its road proximity/ease of access.

Finally, we were on to the main attraction: Sossusvlei. You pull off the tar road into a parking area where you can pay for a shuttle to drive you through the sand, or you can drive yourself if you have a 4×4 vehicle. We deflated our tires to 1 bar, as the rental car company told us, and were psyching ourselves up to not get stuck. One of the shuttle drives whipped over to us and he heckled us about getting stuck and playfully tried to convince us to get in his shuttle bus. We wanted to try ourselves and he said he’d pull us out when we got stuck.

Tires ready and heart rates rising Ryan pulled out into the sand. We had to drive about 10 minutes and Ryan kept repeating a hill country proverb, “if you’re moving you ain’t stuck”, as he whipped his way around the sand. The road isn’t clearly marked and people seem to just drive whatever looks like the hardest sand so it wasn’t always easy to figure out where to go or if you’d made it through the tough stretch. Eventually we found another gravel parking lot with people in it and figured we’d arrived. Luckily, we never encountered another car on the road while we were driving through.

We asked a nice couple picnicking under a tree if we’d made it. They said yes, we were in Sossusvlei, which we might describe as slightly underwhelming.  These are old river or lake bottoms that have dried up where scrub vegetation has managed to cling to whatever moisture is left. We were instructed that one of the other vlei’s, Deadvlei, is about a 20-minute walk up over the sand dune. We’d come all this way, so it looked like we were climbing a dune after all.  

We walked past several pans without even a dead tree in them until we crested a larger dune where we could see Deadvlei. This pan has a bunch of dead trees still defiantly sticking out of the ground, refusing to admit they’re dead and has an eerie feel. You are surrounded by huge dunes with the dune called Big Daddy in the background.  How did anyone find these to begin with?  How lost were they?  We saw as much as heard shouts, from people running down the steep side of the dune.

We hiked back; it was only a mile, but our shoes were filled with sand as we didn’t wear sandals this time. Then it was time for Ryan to get us out. He drove us through with ease and said he would have enjoyed it more if it wasn’t worried about getting the rental car stuck or damaging it.  The rental staff really put the fear of god in him.  We filled our tires back up to the rental company’s recommended pressure then got back on the tar road out of the park.

We exited the park and crossed the street to our $30 a night campsite.  The national park was trying to charge $70!  After pulling into our spot and marveling at how nice this campsite is (private shower, private toilet, huge shade area, braai area with adjustable grill/pot hook) we headed for the pool. The pool was murky, as they all seem to be, and we chatted with a young Namibian couple driving to South Africa for their Christmas holiday. Sebastien and Pepe used to live in Cape Town (our next destination) so they gave us lots of recommendations on restaurants and bars.

For dinner Ryan made us sausage and spicy potatoes with onion and bell pepper. We did laundry and the wind really began to pick up. It was whipping all sorts of wind and sand debris from the dunes right towards us. It was so windy and dry our soaking wet clothes dried in 30 minutes. We went to bed pretty early and prayed our tent wouldn’t fly off the truck.

Day 17 – Helmeringhausen – December 15

The wind died down overnight and the next morning we were able to make egg sandwiches on the propane without worrying about it blowing out. We had a long driving day ahead of us. We were driving 3 hours to a town called Helmeringhausen with a German restaurant and beer garden, then an additional 45 minutes to our campsite at Farm Aubures Campsite. We filled up with gas then Elizabeth was determined to keep up her practice in driving stick. She stalled out several times putting it into gear in front of the gas station men, but eventually got us out on the gravel. She made it about an hour until we went up a huge hill, like 30-degree grade, and didn’t approach with enough speed. It stalled out ¾ of the way up and try as she could, and she kept rolling back quite a ways and couldn’t get it in gear. Ryan took over and also struggled a bit so she felt better.

The wind died down overnight and the next morning we were able to make egg sandwiches on the propane without worrying about it blowing out. We had a long driving day ahead of us. We were driving 3 hours to a town called Helmeringhausen with a German restaurant and beer garden, then an additional 45 minutes to our campsite at Farm Aubures Campsite. We filled up with gas then Elizabeth was determined to keep up her practice in driving stick. She stalled out several times putting it into gear in front of the gas station men, but eventually got us out on the gravel. She made it about an hour until we went up a huge hill, like 30-degree grade, and didn’t approach with enough speed. It stalled out ¾ of the way up and try as she could, and she kept rolling back quite a ways and couldn’t get it in gear. Ryan took over and also struggled a bit so she felt better.

We made it to the restaurant and found a nice table outside. Elizabeth got vegetable casserole, like mac and cheese with squash, and Ryan got sweet potatoes and bratwurst. We appreciate eating out so much more since we’ve been making every meal for the last few weeks. We drank our beers and enjoyed being out of the car as long as we could.

The road to the campsite was very rough and all on private roads.  We even had to open a few gates as we passed over multiple property lines, so we felt slightly sketched out. When we arrived, the farmer walked out to greet us and ended up telling us his dad is a geologist, the old director of the Namibian Geologic Survey, and this land is where he did his first mapping project. We are in the valley and surrounded by gorgeous mountains. He said we had the campsite to ourselves and would be staying about a kilometer from his house and to take our pick of any of the spots. We choose the one with a giant tree, the type of tree with the giant thorns, and spent the afternoon wandering around the property.

Later that evening the farmer came down to turn our water heater and gave us the friendliest, most soft-spoken rant we’d ever heard. He is a third generation karakul farmer; his great-grandfather began farming this land over a 100 years ago with the same type of sheep from Afghanistan. These sheep are specifically slaughtered 48 hours after birth to make exceptionally soft fur. He told us all about the crash in the fur market in the 70s and how they’ve been struggling ever since. When the market collapsed, the majority of farmers switched to farming a softer, more domesticated breed of mutton.  Since they’re for meat they don’t slaughter the sheep until they’re 7 months old.  He explained that not slaughtering them immediately, combined with their poor herd instincts, has put the farmers at risk with the natural predators of leopard, cheetah, jackal, etc. and now the farmers go out a few times a week to hunt these endangered predators that are attacking their livestock. The fur ban, which intended to stop the poaching of endangered animals for fur, killed almost all fur making, which in turn has led to the hunting of endangered predators.

He then continued on about plastic and how faux fur is made of recycled plastic but uses so much solvent and petroleum it’s bad for the environment. He talked more about the plastic crisis and said a fur would only take 3 months to rot away, whereas plastics take thousands of years. He told us the lamb skins he sells for 315 Rand (~21USD) sell as coats for over 40,000 euro, but he doesn’t see any of those profits. This farm is 40,000 acres, employees 10 people who have 30 dependents and has the same plants, predators, and water wells that pump from windmills for the last 100 years plus all their electricity is solar. Sounds pretty sustainable to us. Since his sheep still have a strong herd mentality, only 1 shepherd with a pack of dogs is needed in the field for 500 sheep to be protect them from predators.

It was very interesting to hear this side of the argument. We hadn’t before considered how furs may be a more sustainable and greener industry than producing plastic fake fur. Food for thought. We were lazy that night drinking beer and eating leftovers. The sunset was beautiful and the only noise were the cicadas and wind. That night we finally got the star gazing we’d been dreaming of. There was absolutely zero light pollution and we saw shooting stars and the haze of the Milky Way. This was the most stars either one of us had ever seen!

Day 18 – Klein-Aus Vista – December 16  

As we were packing up to leave a shepherd and his sheep passed through the camp ground. We made oatmeal then were back on the gravel roads heading towards Aus and our next campsite Klein-Aus Desert Horse Camp. The reception area had a big pool and bar and a restaurant with a patio. We decided to get a beer and sit on the patio. It didn’t take us long to glance at the menu and share a jaffle and fries. A jaffle is like an African panini, they’re apparently popular in other countries across the globe with various names. It had beef, vegetables and sauce. It was amazing and Ryan is going to learn to make them.

Finally, we drove over to the camping area a couple of kilometers away. It was quite hot and our campsite didn’t offer much shade. We decided we might as well go on a short hike, since we couldn’t escape the sun we might as well commit to being in it, and headed about 1.5 kilometers up to the Horse Stone Viewpoint.  Some of the rocks here are 2 billion years old from the formation of the supercontinent Gondwana. This area was also the site of a lot of fighting in WW1. There were several German ramparts and other old war relics.

When we reached the top of the hill we looked down and could see the art called Stone Horse. There are a lot of wild horses here. We sat for a while then made the scorching hike back to the tent and opened a cold bottle of white wine. All of the wines in Namibia (except for a very small number) are from South Africa. We drank a bottle called Meerkat.

For dinner that night Ryan made Jamaican rice and peas with braai lamb chops. We saw all sorts of signs and warnings of clever baboons (with ‘screw-driver fingers’) but luckily didn’t have any encounters.

Day 19 – Luderitz – December 17  

After more yogurt and granola, we hit the road towards Luderitz. This city is on the western coast and was home to a lot of mining and diamonds back in the day. Our plan was to stop at the lost city of Kolmanskop, where you can walk through an old abandoned town that’s being reclaimed by nature and the sand dunes. Not feeling rushed we popped into town to buy more beer and firewood. After accidently driving through a part of the city that was just a shanty town, the wealth gap here is incredible, we sat on Shark Island enjoying the cool breeze and seeing the coast one last time.

We finally drove to Kolmanskop arriving at 12:45 only to discover they close at 1 and we couldn’t get in. Elizabeth was devastated, we were on a schedule and wouldn’t be able to stick around until the next day, but honestly why close at 1 pm?  Really frustrating. We got back in the car and pressed on, another two hours to our campsite at Alte Kalkofen.

We were greeted by an old, white Namibian man who had been swimming in the pool with his granddaughter. The lodge and grounds looked right out of Chip and Johannes Magnolia Farms with bible verses everywhere. He showed us the campsites and the pool. We were the first campers to arrive and picked our favorite little bathroom shack to post up next to. Each bathroom had a private toilet and shower.

It was extraordinarily windy that day and we were on the edge of the desert with gusts of dirt and sand. Our drive over felt like we might be encountering one of the dreaded sand storms we’d heard about. We threw on our bathing suits and headed to the pool where there was a little shade and escape from the wind and sun. When dinnertime came, we cooked pasta in the bathroom to escape the dust and spent the evening in our tent watching Netflix and listening to our book.

Day 20 – Fish River Canyon – December 18  

After another oatmeal breakfast party, we made the trek south towards Fish River Canyon. Following Google, we were led down what we believed to be a C-class road.  All roads in Namibia are classified by their quality and frequency of upkeep, B-class roads are the nicest we’d been on and are all tarred (asphalt), C-class are well-maintained gravel roads, D-roads are infrequently maintained gravel roads, and so on. This was the worst road either of us have ever encountered in our lives with horrible gravel, ruts, and potholes. We spent most of the time off-roading in parallel tracks to the road like other cars had. After 20 grueling kilometers we were spit out onto the smooth C12 road and a glance behind us revealed that we had been on F-class road. Thanks a lot Google.

The drive after that was very simple and once we were in the park, we saw many ostriches on the side of the road. Our camp for the night was called Hobas and we made grilled cheese and leftover rice and peas for lunch. While we were eating an American man walked up to our table, trailed by two park workers, asking us if we saw a tent at the far campsite when we arrived. He had the stakes, still in the ground, but then tent was missing. Nothing was there when we arrived and he and the workers headed into the woods searching.

Later we brought him a beer, curious to hear his troubles, and we learned that the baboons had been particularly nasty that morning and they believe they ran off with his tent when he was exploring the canyon. We chatted over our beers, his name is Colin from Baltimore and is living in Johannesburg working for a nonprofit. He’d luckily bought these tents on special, buy one get one free, and had a spare in his car.  He found his tent later, came walking out of the woods with it, and it was pretty torn up. 

We lounged that afternoon under the shade of a small forest playing cards and drinking beer. Around 5:30 we set out for the canyon (10 km away) to see the sunset. We first went to the main lookout point then hiked a ways along the canyon edge. It’s funny being close to such a sheer cliff. We both aren’t too afraid of heights, not after getting so into rock climbing, but still we kept a good distance between our bodies – we didn’t want someone to accidentally fall in.

Finally, we drove to another, secluded look out point. We hiked down a ways into the canyon using their steep chains and rocks. Apparently, you can get a permit to do a 4-night, 5-day long hike all throughout the canyon. We climbed back out and watched the sun set around 7:45 pm.

We made our way back to camp and started cooking our dinner. We were having a vegetable medley over the fire with brussels sprouts, carrots, potatoes, squash, onion, and peppers. It took longer to cook than we’d anticipated with such a hot fire but the results were delicious. The stars again were gorgeous and the whole camp shuts down, all lights, at 10 pm so you could see them really well.

Day 21 – Mariental – December 19  

As expected, we were awoken at 6:30 to baboons rummaging through all the trashcans. They loved ours because of all the vegetable skins etc. These baboons were less threatening than others we’d encountered because they were still pretty skittish of humans and one look could sent them running. We ate our breakfast and packed up the car.

After showering we’d realized we left Elizabeth’s phone in the tent, with all the downloaded maps, so we had to unpack the tent again to get it out. Then we were off to the canyon to see it with the sun at our backs. It was again breathtaking. Fish River is widely considered the second largest canyon in the world after the Grand Canyon.

We had another long drive ahead of us up to Mariental and our campsite. Leaving the park, we saw more ostriches including a baby scrambling over rocks, trying to keep up with its parents who were running scared from us. It was adorable, but the parents seemed to be leaving the poor thing behind. Our camp tonight is called Bastion Farmyard right outside of the town of Mariental.  We arrived and bought some beers from the shop and firepit cheesy garlic bread, which Elizabeth is very excited about.

That afternoon we sat in the shade reading and lounging. We were next to a barbed wire fence and a small group of shanty homes lay on the other side. It’s not clear if those are the field workers’ or what. We’d eaten chips and gummy worms for lunch on the road and Ryan needed some real sustenance. For dinner we ate like hobos heating beans and peas in their cans on the fire, sausage, and of course the cheesy garlic bread. This may have been the cheesiest bread Elizabeth had ever encountered, which is saying something from a former Madsen.

Day 22 – Windhoek – December 20

Our last full day of camping. We will miss it, but are excited for a real bed. After some oatmeal and lighting our own water heater fire, we packed up and set out on the final drive. Windhoek is just 2.5 hours away. Our campsite is called Vineyard Country Lodge, there are a few grape vines but not enough to constitute a vineyard, unless they are hiding them. On the way in we’d passed what claimed to be a brewery and decided to unload then pop over for lunch.

Turns out, they don’t brew their own beer anymore, because the owner is busy with other things, at least that’s what they told us. We got a couple of beer on tap and the pulled pork and a cheeseburger. Ryan asked for it to be medium rare and the giant burger came out verrry rare, like basically raw.  He ate half and we hope he doesn’t get sick.  He actually really liked it until he remembered we were in Africa and started to doubt their meat-handling practices.  The pulled pork was excellent. We sat right next to the pool and were splashed by kids and watched them run around.

Back at the campsite we did our final laundry and started cleaning out the truck and packing up. We are having a smorgasbord for dinner, eating all the leftover food from the last few weeks including popcorn, pasta, a squash, more cheesy garlic bread, cereal, and milk and cookies. We were too full.

Day 24 – Windhoek – December 21

We were on the road by 7:30 the next morning to drop our car off with Jaco. He in turn drove us to the mall where they have a small rock wall on the side of the building. We hung out in the parking lot for a bit waiting for our guide Richard Ford to take us out to the crags. Richard was super cool and the only certified rock-climbing guide in Namibia, how prestigious.

We loaded up and headed just outside of the city to Windhoek’s Secret Crag. After climbing a fence and looking out for snakes we arrived at the site of a dry waterfall. Namibia is so scarce for water (one of the driest countries on the continent), but just the other day this waterfall had been flowing. This was our first time climbing on sandstone and the rock was polished from all the running water. This made climbing it very tricky and more than a little slippery. We climbed 4 routes here, Ryan making it up all of them and Elizabeth conquering 3. It was tricky for her sweaty little hands to hold on.

The worst part about this outdoor climb for Elizabeth was the baboon poop.  As you climbed you put your hand in dried poop almost every step of the way. Since this is where Richard learned to climb, he said the smell made him nostalgic. We didn’t actually see any of the hairy bastards, but at the end of the day the baboons come and play all along the rock face.   In an effort to keep the baboons away, the climbing club put fake snakes in several crevices, which our guide didn’t tell us about and spooked Elizabeth. As we climbed and chatted, Richard told us all about growing up in Namibia and Cape Town post-Apartheid. We didn’t realize Namibia was taken over by South Africa after WW1 and had just gained independence in 1990.

The second worst part of this outdoor climb were the gnats. They were swarming our faces, particularly Elizabeth’s, but luckily Richard had these amazing bug netting that fit around our heads. Elizabeth didn’t care how it looked – it did an amazing job.

After exhausting ourselves we hiked back out of the waterfall area and piled back in the car for our second crag. The second location is on a farm for big game and we saw a kudu while pulling up. We ate lunch and the simple deli sandwiches tasted amazing. We also ate dried dates that are grown in the Fish River Canyon and they are incredibly sweet!

We hiked up, this time to granite rocks, very similar to what we saw in Spitzkoppe. While Elizabeth was using the restroom, the boys decided we would try our first multi-pitch hiking. Since we only have the one rope, this essentially means you climb half way up the rock, attach to the bolts with short cords, pull the rope up, and continue climbing to the top. So, you’re pretty much suspended on the side of the mountain waiting for your chance to climb. Then when we got to the top we would have to rappel down. Richard went first, taking the rope up with him and Ryan followed. We were all tied into the same rope and when Ryan reached the midway point he attached to the wall and Elizabeth climbed up attached to the end of the rope.

This climbing was tricky because there weren’t a lot of places to put your hands and feet, you had to rely on the friction from the granite. We all made it to the middle point and clipped in together. Rock climbing brings you way closer your fellow climbers than we thought it would and we were all bumping into each other, passing rope back between our legs, etc. We began going up the second portion of the wall in the same order. Elizabeth did much better on the granite rock, females tend to do better here because it’s more focused on lower body and not so much brute upper body strength and reaching things far away.

At the top of the hill we clipped in on the slop and had a great view of the surrounding mountains. Namibia is a beautiful country and we were fortunate to have cloudy skies all day so it never felt too hot. It was time to rappel down and Richard hooked us all into the rope with Elizabeth in the middle and Ryan at the end. When Richard rappelled to the halfway point, a different one on the sheer face of the rock, he clipped himself to the bolt and undid the rope. Elizabeth then followed, not quite finding the sweet spot to make it look like smooth descent as seen in the movies. The rope burned your hand as you let it slide through. After she was clipped in and unattached Ryan brought up the rear. We repeated the whole process again threading ourselves together before making it to the bottom.

We had one final climb left. We both made it to the top but it was tricky and we were getting tired. The clouds were deceptive so we kept forgetting to put on sunscreen and we were fried by the end of the day. We loaded everything back up into the car and Richard took us to our hostel for the night. We sat around the hostel bar drinking a beer and chatting. He wants Ryan to come back and work for him as a rock guide. We said our goodbyes and cleaned the sweat and baboon poop off of us.

We hopped in a taxi for a restaurant called Joe’s Bar. Apparently, it’s the one trendy bar/restaurant in Windhoek and was recommended by both the tourists online and the locals we met. We were sat outside at a shared table and Elizabeth ordered jäger schnitzel made with oryx meat and Ryan got The Bushman, which consists of springbok, oryx, and kudu filets. The meat was absolutely delicious, especially the oryx which tasted like a filet mignon and was super cheap. We drank a few beers then headed home, exhausted.

Day 24 – Windhoek – December 22

We weren’t able to find (with confidence) any mass times for the Catholic church in Windhoek. We decided to split the difference of a few options and showed up at 9:15. A friendly nun told us there would be a mixed German/English mass beginning at 9:30. Old German women led the mass singing the German hymns and the parts of the liturgy that were in German. Afterwards we walked back to our hostel to lounge some more.

Elizabeth left her Kindle in Richard’s car the day before, which wouldn’t have been an issue, but he was flying to Germany at 9 am this morning. Luckily, his dad dropped it off at the rock gym so we decided to walk up to the mall (about 30 minutes) to pick it up. The sun was hot and there wasn’t much shade. We got the Kindle then walked through the mall getting some beef jerky, or biltong, common in southern Africa. It was delicious, but we aren’t certain what type of meat it was. Our final destination was a KFC. Ryan hadn’t had any since leaving the states and he was so excited for some fried chicken. He said the mashed potatoes tasted identical.

The weather soured that afternoon and poured rain. We hung out in the hostel packing up for our flight in the morning and browsing the internet. For dinner we got a pizza made by the bartender and a couple beers and we spent the last of our Namibian cash. The pizza was surprisingly good.

Day 25 – Windhoek  to Cape Town, South Africa – December 23

Our taxi pickup gathered us bright and early at 5:45 the next morning. It seemed that our driver was trying to set a personal record on our way to the airport.  During the 30-minute ride we almost hit baboons that were playing in the road twice. We checked our bags then ate breakfast in one of the lounges and waited for our flight. We are flying South Africa Airlines to Cape Town and count ourselves lucky they didn’t go belly-up before our flight.  The flight was smooth sailing and we could see the Kalahari Desert as we flew out. We loved our time in Namibia. It was so relaxing, camping and tottering around for 3 weeks. This is a great option for anyone looking to do a safari on the cheap and in a relatively safe country. We will be back.

Things we’ve learned in Namibia:

  1. The Kellogg’s box reads, “If it doesn’t say Kellogg’s on the box, it isn’t Kellogg’s in the box” which we never knew was necessary before.
  2. Only 14.5% of Namibia’s roads are paved.
  3. Around 50% of the exposed surface rock is bedrock.
  4. If a friendly stranger wants to know where you’re from and what your names are, they are probably trying to sell you ‘personalized’ souvenirs

Egypt

Day 1 – Cairo – November 18

After a slightly bumpy flight we touched down in Cairo at 3 pm. We breezed right through passport control and immigration then managed to skirt around all the aggressive taxi drivers offering their services to find our Uber.  He spoke no discernible English and we found him wandering the parking lot on foot.  If there’s no traffic, it takes about 30 minutes to get to the airport, but we were looking at more like an hour of travel.  No one drives in the lanes: on a two-lane road there will be three lanes of traffic and people honking and weaving in and out.  That’s not even mentioning the thousands of people in the streets grabbing rides or just walking along the highways. It was an interesting drive to hear all the different kinds of horns (yes, many people seemed to have aftermarket horns), see all the buildings (are they all brown on purpose?), and to smell and see the hazy smog (interesting, but not enjoyable). Twenty-three million people live in Cairo, that’s a lot of cars.

We pulled up to our hotel, which is right on the Nile and on a street with a large number of the foreign embassies. Our car got checked for bombs with a dog and a mirror before we were let in. Then we had to go through metal detectors to get into the lobby and check in. This would end up being a theme on our journey through Egypt.  Our room was pretty nice, facing the city, and we walked around the outside pool area to see the sun set. Joan, Elizabeth’s aunt, would be joining us for a couple weeks and her birthday. Poor thing was flying alone and not set to land until 11:45 pm. We went to the hotel gym, something we hadn’t done in forever, and discovered we’d gotten a little fat. We ate dinner in a hotel restaurant, which left a lot to be desired. Ryan ordered the fish and chips and was served a pathetic plate of fish and rice. Joan finally made it to the hotel around 1 am and we all got as much sleep as we could before our early morning pick-up.

Day 2 – Cairo – November 19

We were in the lobby at 7 the next morning to meet our tour guide Josef.  Josef was taking us to see three main sights today, the Pyramids of Giza, the Steps Pyramid, and the Egyptian Museum. Since traffic in Cairo is so bad, and these sights are about 30 km apart, we had to leave bright and early to see it all. On the drive to the Pyramids of Giza he told us all about Cairo regarding the population, the number of cars, what the people did for a living, etc. Traffic is pretty bad from 6 am to 9 am for the morning commute, but luckily, we were to the pyramids in less than an hour.

He was so smart to make us get up early because the pyramids were empty. We walked all along one of the giant monoliths, while learning about the stone and processes they think the Egyptians used to build them. Sadly, Romans and other empires stripped the pyramids of their outer layer to use the stones to build other historic buildings, but you could still see a completed top of one pyramid. The pyramids of Giza constitute 9 pyramids all belonging to the Khufu family. Three large ones are standing tall and six smaller ones that are more broken stand on the outer edges.

We learned all about mummification and the ancient Egyptian views of the afterlife. These pyramids date back to 2580 B.C. and were the oldest things we’d ever seen.  Indeed, they are among the oldest stone structures in existence.  The moon was full and present in the sky where we could see it behind the great pyramids. We learned that archeologists found the remains of a village belonging to the workers and no longer think the pyramid workers were slaves, but hired labor who enjoyed a great honor by working on the pharaoh’s tomb.  They only worked 4 months out of the year during the flood season! They also found a network of tombs a few kilometers away and are studying the bones to try to figure out the strength of an average worker and see how they could lift such massive stone.

We also saw sections that were made of basalt and granite, pieces of rock that can only be mined near cities much further down the Nile. That means they transported these blocks weighing tens of tons miles up the Nile. We asked Josef about the theory of aliens building the pyramids, and he very matter-of-factly argued, since much of the technology and innovation took place over thousands of years the aliens would have had to come multiple times and given their knowledge one piece at a time. He did claim, however, that around 10% of Egyptologists think the technology came from the lost city of Atlantis.

After walking around and getting a history of the great pyramids, our guide suggested taking a horse and chariot ride out into the desert to see all the pyramids together in one frame. He claims he only uses a company that treats their horses well and doesn’t over work them so we agreed. Joan and Josef were in the first cart and Ryan and Elizabeth were in the second. We had beautiful weather and Josef said if it was dusty, he wouldn’t have recommended it, because the dust in unbearable in the desert. We rode out about 30 minutes and Josef led us through a series of tourist photographs like jumping, kissing the pyramid, and touching the top of the pyramid. Some people were doing a similar experience on camels but we were wise enough, thanks to Morocco, to know that’s not a comfortable activity.

Next, we rode the horses back and walked down the causeway to the sphynx and the mummification room. For mummification, which is a long process, they remove 4 essential organs: the liver, lungs, intestines and stomach. They throw away the brain and keep the heart in the body. These organs are then put in sacred jars and buried near the bodies for the afterlife. The sphinx was really impressive to see, especially when we walked out in front of it and could see all the pyramids in the background.

We were next dropped off at a papyrus art store while our guide picked up our lunch. We were ready for the standard African “let me show you my friend’s store, but you don’t have to buy anything” routine. They taught us how the Egyptians made paper in the past by cutting papyrus leaves and soaking them in water, then weaving them together and squeezing out the water. This group of artisans makes the paper the same way and then adds Egyptian art. We bought a small boat picture, but it was the one place Elizabeth wishes she could have spent more money, because the paintings were beautiful.

We piled back in the car and enjoyed our first official Egyptian meal. We had three sandwiches, two types of falafel and the third was babaganoush. Joan was brave and ate a single falafel sandwich, but we absolutely loved them. We ate while driving to our second stop, the step pyramid or the Pyramid of Djoser. We pulled up and it was again, pretty empty. We walked through the oldest stone building in the world. You can see the bottom half is original and the upper portion was restored in the same style in the 1800s. It was a tomb where lots of pharaohs could be held in little rooms between gorgeous pillars. There were massive stone doors on hinges that would be closed to keep the bad spirits out. The tombs opened up to a large square; the pyramid shaped like steps. This was a monument built for Pharaoh Djoser by his vizier Imhotep, who wanted steps to reach heaven and a large bull fighting square like the one they had in Memphis. They replicated the things they had in this life that they wanted to take in the next life.

Finally, we made the long drive back into Cairo to go to the Egyptian Museum, which is located deep downtown. We weaved in with traffic for about an hour before arriving.  We got lucky with our timing, as they are moving the museum into a new building out near the pyramids, but they haven’t taken away all the exhibits yet.  We weren’t too excited about the museum, since we aren’t exactly museum people, but Josef made it a wonderful experience. The museum is two floors. We started in the upper and saw lots of pottery and jewelry and an animal mummification room with a giant Nile crocodile. We saw two mummies and lots of sarcophagi. The highlight was learning about King Tut and seeing all his treasures.

Tut’s tomb was discovered by accident. A British explorer, Howard Carter, spent many years hunting in Egypt.  Every night one of the servant boys would toss the camp’s wastewater off the edge.  Unbeknownst to anyone, this water was slowly eroding the sand covering the entrance to the tomb.  After years* of searching without success Carter was giving up on his expedition, but that night when he was packing everything up, the boy revealed the first step of the tomb leading underground. This led to the excavation of the hut and the unearthing of a trove of gold, furniture, his body and organs. We saw the first known flip flops, folding chairs, and cots. One of our favorites was seeing the pieces for an old Egyptian game like chess, but no one knows how to play. We went into the treasure room and saw all his gold jewels, gold tomb, and gold head piece he was buried in.  All of this was found in Luxor, but transported to Cairo, except for his body. We felt kind of bad for the guy, they dug him up, ripped him out of his tomb and jewels and headdress then shipped away all his stuff.

We finished walking around the museum and saw a female pharaoh, Hatshepsut, and the pharaoh Akhenaten who was thought to be disfigured and wanted his statues to show his odd shaped body and face. We learned so much about ancient Egypt, but it’s so hard to retain all the details. We piled back in the car and headed to dinner at a restaurant called Abou Tarek. We had to try a dish called kushari which our guide raved about. It. Was. Phenomenal. It’s a bowl of noodles, beans and lentils that you cover in fried onion crisps and tomato sauce so it’s like a flavorful spaghetti.  We topped it off with rice pudding and we had very full bellies.

They dropped us back off at the hotel and we lounged around the pool sipping wine and beer before calling it a night. It’s a shame we only had one day in Cairo, but we packed it as full as we could and it was worth all the traffic and driving.

Day 3 – Cairo to Luxor – November 20

We had an alarm malfunction, but luckily Joan woke us up in time to catch our 5:30 am cab to the airport. Our driver seemed slightly lost at times, but a lot of roads seemed blocked that maybe shouldn’t have been. We made it though and had to go through lots of pre-security before we could check in. The security lines were all gender segregated. Finally, we checked our bags with all the other tourists and boarded our one-hour Nile Air flight to Luxor.

We collected our bags upon landing and Ryan realized they broke the chest strap of his backpack. We reported it to the office, but aren’t sure if anything will be done. We found our tour guide for the day outside and our air-conditioned van. We loaded up and were off to our first sight Medinet Habu, memorial of Ramses III. It was only 9 am so there were hardly any tourists out. This was our first temple and first opportunity to see walls, pillars, and ceilings covered in hieroglyphics.

We again were taught about a lot about the scenes depicted and the history of Ramses III, but we didn’t really learn much, really, we just got mixed up and confused by a barrage of new information. Then we jumped back in the car and headed to the Tombs of the Artisans. The artists who actually painted and carved the pyramids have a valley where they constructed their own tombs. We were able to go inside three. They weren’t very large and we had to squat down like ducks to walk through the low passages, but inside were beautiful paintings all preserved for the last 3000 years.

It wouldn’t be Africa if we weren’t forced into a store to watch a presentation and be pressured into purchasing souvenirs. Today’s adventure was an alabaster store. We watched a funny presentation by the workers about how they carve their stone and etch in the designs then show you the evils of buying souvenirs from street vendors, since they aren’t real stone. They had very impressive work in their store and Joan was convinced to buy some gifts for her office. We were each given a small Scarab made of onyx as a keepsake and to know we always had a friend at the alabaster store. The negotiations took about 20 minutes and we tried to drive him lower, almost walking away, but in the end, he made the sale.

Today was the day of tombs so we next headed towards the Tombs of Nobles. In ancient Egypt, there were local governments and they would report to the pharaohs regarding crops, people, etc. These tombs were larger than the artisans and a lot of the decoration showed number of cattle and crops that came from that noble’s region. We were able to go into three tombs and in one we saw how sunlight could reflect off a mirror to light up the whole tomb.  They used these tricks during the excavation and allegedly during the construction of the tombs.

Our final stop on our tombs tour was the Valley of the Queens. We were able to go into three tombs, though one was actually a prince. The guide wasn’t able to go with us into a lot of the tombs. Because of crowds and the guides taking too much time to explain they have a man inside to make sure people move along and he points out animals in the hieroglyphics and expects a tip. The biggest tomb we saw was Queen Titi. There were depictions of lions, apparently there used to be lions in Egypt, and boys with a side ponytail like we see in the Prince of Egypt. Elizabeth asked all of our guides if they’ve seen the Mummy and the Prince of Egypt so they know what she’s looking for in a tour.

We were pretty hungry at this point and our guide took us to lunch at a restaurant called African Cuisine, a very local restaurant right along the bank of the Nile. We sat on the shaded roof overlooking the river. The food was again, delicious and we ate pita and tahini, veggie salad, and lentil soup before really digging into the rice, chicken, and beef kofta. For dessert they brought small pastries with honey and bananas. We were stuffed.

Our guide and driver dropped us off at our hotel for the night, Jolie Ville located on Kings Island in the middle of the Nile. We got there around 3 and headed straight for the infinity pool to swim and watch the sun set. We’d been so hot during the day and excited to finally cool off in the pool, but it was freezing cold!  Ryan made us all get in and swim around. The hotel grounds are sprawling and gorgeous and our rooms are massive, we are sad to only spend one night.  We know understood why our Austrian cat-sitting hosts were so eager to recommend this place. We watched the sun dip behind the horizon then headed back to our rooms for a pre-dinner rest.  

After a brief recuperation, we wandered back to the main lobby area to get a drink on the patio. We’d been harassed by a staff member all day trying to set us up in his dinner area, ostensibly as they were nowhere near capacity for the night. We successfully rebuffed his advances until he cornered us when we ordered drinks.  He managed to coerce us down onto the grass where he had a nice table set up complete with white tablecloths and flowers. We shared a bottle of white wine called Obelisk and Ryan had another Sakhara beer. Eventually we got hungry and ate a couple of crappy, but just what we needed pizzas. We called it a night and slept like the dead in our wonderful rooms.

Day 4 – Luxor – November 21

The next morning Elizabeth got up to go to the gym at 7:30 but they didn’t open until 8. She explored the island and found a “zoo” of water buffalo, horses, and cows. Our waiter last night proudly told us how they grow their own beef on the island.  The whole island only took about 30 minutes to walk around and it was nice to get out before the heat came. We met Joan for breakfast at 9 and enjoyed a nice buffet with an omelet bar and pancake station. Ryan hadn’t had cereal in a few weeks so he went hog wild. Joan and Elizabeth lounged by the pool for a few hours watching a group of Asian women sing and do strange rituals in the lounge chairs next-door while Ryan got his beard trimmed and hair cut.

At noon we were picked up by our cruise ship transportation and taken to the M/S Alyssa to begin our 4-night cruise on the Nile from Luxor to Aswan. They stack the boats out from the banks so we had to walk through one broken down boat to get to our much nicer boat. There was some confusion dropping us off as the driver told us our tour guide would meet us after dinner but Elizabeth’s schedule said, and the boat staff confirmed, that there were no activities that day. We settled into our rooms which were very nice with huge windows facing overlooking the river.

Lunch is served from 1:00 to 2:30 every day and you know we were the first group down there at 1 o’clock sharp. We got to pick our assigned table and chose number 21 right by the window. Lunch was a fixed menu that day since people were arriving at all different times. We started with soup and salad then a huge pile of rice with beef, chicken and pork chops. Dessert was a fruit salad topped with ice cream. It was so much food we couldn’t finish it all. We changed into our swimsuits to go enjoy the afternoon heat on the sundeck. Ryan wasn’t feeling well, a grumble in the tummy, so he rested in the room. He found us an hour later after receiving a call that our tour guide was waiting for us in the lobby.

Our guide is Zidan and apparently the company didn’t send Elizabeth the updated itinerary. He patiently waited for us to change and Ryan hung back, too afraid to be away from a toilet. Our first of two stops was Karnack Temple in Luxor. This temple is built on 14 acres and was built by a bunch of different pharaohs adding onto it. It was restored and unburied in the 1800s after Nile floods had covered it up for years.  We saw two large obelisks and lots of sphinxes with the body of a lion and the head of a ram. This temple has over 150 columns all the shape of a bunched papyrus plant and covered in hieroglyphics. We got to watch the sun set over the ruins before piling back into the van.

Our last stop was Luxor Temple. It was dark when we arrived so we got to see all the columns and statues lit up with large spot lights. It was amazing to get to see the temple and go inside with just spot lights, it made it feel more like old times as we walked through the different chambers just for the high priest and pharaoh. The hieroglyphics were harder to see and we always seemed to be casting our shadow over whatever he was trying to point out. Inside is a temple that was constructed and restored by Alexander the Great.

We were dropped back off at the boat and checked on Ryan. He still wasn’t feeling well so Joan and I went down and enjoyed the buffet dinner on our own. The dessert table was amazing with fancy and artistic selections including a large spoon with crème brûlée. Since the boat is so underfilled we get a lot of attention and Ryan’s absence was immediately noticed. The staff was so kind and brought plain rice, bananas, and lemon tea to his room to help him recover.

Day 5 – Luxor to Edfu – November 22

Much to Ryan’s dismay, we began our touring bright and early the next morning. We ate breakfast at 6, another buffet, and he was thankfully feeling much better. Zidan picked us up around 6:45 and we were off to the West Bank of the Nile. Our first stop was the Colossei Memnon. Here two tall statues of Pharaoh Amenhotep III mark the entrance to the Temple of Hatshepsut where we were headed next. These statues have stood by themselves for some time, but now the University of Chicago has sent researchers over to uncover additional artifacts behind the two large statues.  Millenia of Nile floods have covered this area in layers of sediment, so the archeologists were hard at work digging up piles and piles of artifacts for restoration.  The statutes themselves are so old you can see graffiti from ancient Greece.  All the while, we were surrounded by hot air balloons, as people soared over the breadth of Luxor Valley.

We piled back in the car for the short drive to the Temple of Hatshepsut. Just like in Cairo, our wise guide was smart enough to get us there early before the crowds arrived.  It wasn’t even 8:30 yet, but the sun was already baking the bluff sands of the desert, and us with them. We walked through the security metal detectors and got our bags screened, they apparently do this in all hotels and sightseeing spots, then boarded a tram towards the temple. Ryan noticed from the labels and warnings on its cab that the tram was from an old chemical facility back in the US, how it got to Egypt we aren’t sure.

We rode the trams to the front of the temple and walked up the giant staircase. This temple is dedicated to the second known female pharaoh, regarded as the most successful female pharaoh, Hatshepsut. She was married to Tutmoses II and ruled beginning in 1478 BC. She and her son Tutmoses III officially ruled together, though he was a young child when named pharaoh. We got to see a lot of restoration work and saw the progress of uncovering the palace from the surrounding collapsed mountains.

We filed back on the tram and to the bus for our third and final site of the day, the Valley of the Kings. At this point we’d seen a lot of tombs: the artisans, the nobles, and the queens. The Valley of the Kings was quite crowded and, as you’d expect, much larger. We again saw three tombs; Merenptah, Ramses III and Ramses IV.  Ancient Egyptians viewed the mountain as a natural pyramid shape and dug their burial tombs in its shadow deep under the ground.  They had learned from their forefathers, those that built the pyramids.  If you put all your worldly possessions in a giant tomb and for thousands to see, grave robbers are gonna show up eventually.  And they won’t need a map.  Some of them had several champers of hieroglyphics to walk through before you even reached the chambers. We walked down a lot of “stairs” and saw amazing colors and paintings before finding the final resting places of the kings. All have been removed except for King Tut’s mummy, the rest are in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo. This valley is known to contain 63 tombs ranging over 500 years from 16th to 11th century B.C.

We had to return to the boat before 1 pm because the boat was setting to sail up the Nile towards Aswan.  We arrived and enjoyed our buffet lunch before spending the afternoon on the sundeck as we cruised up the Nile. There was a lot of traffic on the water and we were surprised to find that boats honk at each other as much as cars do when passing.  Our boat had lots of lounge chairs and day beds so we read and enjoyed the passing banks. We saw a number of little boats fishing with some even attaching themselves to our boat and trying to shout to the deck to peddle the different scarves and dresses they had. We tried to enjoy the small on deck pool, but again the water was pretty frigid.  It’s tricky, because a cool breeze or simply lying in the shade is enough to be comfortable, but the air is not so warm that you need to take a dip to refresh yourself.  Whenever we go back to our room the staff has a little towel animal waiting, this crocodile’s mouth was propped open with our clicker.

We enjoyed the sunset around 5:30 eating small finger food and guava juice. The temperature drops when the sun sets so we snuck back to our cabins to lay in bed until dinner. Around 7 we headed to the lobby bar for a free drink, sparkling wine with apples in it and to socialize with our guide Zidan, who was stuck to us like glue. Finally, we made our way down to dinner where a surprise awaited Joan. Today was her 65th birthday and the staff made her a cake and sang happy birthday in English then in Arabic, all accompanied by drums. She danced around and was a good sport being the center of attention.  The day before Elizabeth had asked the boat staff if they did anything for birthdays/special events, and she was informed that everything was taken care of.  Since they had her passport, and knew her birthday, they took some initiative. The boat staff as been incredible and we were happy to have so few guests with us.

After dinner we went back to the bar to enjoy a few more birthday drinks before calling it a night. When we returned to our rooms, right across the hall from each other, we found the staff had stolen our towels to make Joan a birthday cake of towels on her bed and added balloons everywhere. We think she had a pretty memorable 65th.

Day 6 – Edfu to Aswan – November 23

We woke up to the ship sailing towards Edfu. We’d docked previously upriver and were finishing our transportation this morning.  The ships sail pretty much all the time, they just stop for a few hours right outside the temple to let their guest visit then continue cruising. After breakfast we lounged watching the Nile pass. The cruise ships tie up to each other making a long line from shore out into the river. Sometimes you walk through the lobby of 3 to 4 other ships just to make it to the bank.

We loaded into horse and carriages that were waiting to take us to Edfu Temple. We’ve noticed that Egypt has a serious trash issue and the streets are very dirty. The city of Edfu was no different. When we arrived, the temple wasn’t too crowded so we went through the security and found ourselves facing giant carvings of the god Horus. Edfu was constructed in 237-57 B.C. and the hieroglyphics and carvings were some of the best we’d seen. They now appeared with significant relief whereby instead of just being carved into the wall, the wall is carved around the picture.

This is one of the best-preserved temples in all of Egypt. We saw a lot of graffiti from early Christians and Greeks. Per usual this temple was built on older temples and grounds, and was so buried when it was found in the late 1700’s it took years to restore.

We rode our horses back to the boat then set sail towards Temple Kom Ombo, our afternoon temple visit. During this time Elizabeth began to feel a little under the weather but we were still able to lounge and enjoy our favorite sun deck. After lunch we disembarked again for the Crocodile Temple.

Kom Ombo was constructed from 180-47 B.C. and was very similar in design and detail to Edfu. There are two gods honored at this temple: Horus and Sobek. Horus is the falcon-headed god of power and strength and Sobek is the crocodile-headed god of luck. The temple was actually built during Roman times, like Edfu, and you can tell by looking at the tops of the columns that represent different flowers along the Nile with intricate detail.

Next door to the temple is a crocodile museum that displays some of the crocodile mummies found at the site. Three hundred mummified crocodiles were found here. We could also see archaeologists working off to the edge of the temple. They were digging and dusting and had large piles of artifacts they were cataloging. After stretching our legs in the hot sun Elizabeth’s condition was worsening as we headed back to the boat. That evening Elizabeth spent praying to the porcelain goddess while the others had a nice dinner and more time relaxing on the sundeck. Again, the boat staff were concerned and very accommodating, providing tea and rice to settle her poor tummy. 

Day 7 – Aswan – November 24

Elizabeth felt much better in the morning, but was far from cured. We departed for our final cruise temple stop, named the Philae Temple, or the Temple of Isis. We rode about 15 minutes in a car towards several water taxis then transported to an island with the temple. When the government built the Aswan Dam, first the lower dam in 1902 then the high dam in 1970s to create Lake Nasser, they incidentally flooded surrounding villages and several ancient sites. Fun fact, Lake Nasser is the largest manmade lake in the world. UNESCO has since stepped in to save 12 temples moving them either internationally or to higher grounds. Some of these temples can be seen in Spain, Germany, the U.S., etc.

The large temple we saw today was again built on the site of older temples dating back to the 25th dynasty. The temple we see is from the Roman era and is the site of the last known Egyptian hieroglyphics in 394 AD. In one corner of the temple the Christians removed all the ancient hieroglyphics and added an alter with cross decorations. We saw some interesting black and white photos that showed visitors traveling by boat through the temple before it was moved to a higher island.

We returned to the boat to lounge and eat lunch until our final activity. We spent about an hour sailing around the Nile on a Felucca boat, or traditional sail boat. We saw more tombs in the distance and even ran into a low sandbar trying to scare some birds. The rest of the evening we read and played games before our final dinner and a belly dancing show. Since the boat was so small, we had a suspicion we’d be singled out in the show. The first act was a man in a colorful skirt and twinkle lights who spun in circles and the second act was the belly dancer who did her best to teach Elizabeth and Ryan some new moves.

Day 8 – Abu Simbel – November 25

We enjoyed our final breakfast on the boat and said good-bye to the staff. Our driver, who was very excited and bubbly, picked us up at 8 am and led us out to our car. His name was Noel and he quickly became our worst nightmare. We were all pretty sick and tired from our various stomach bugs and Noel was too kind and too accommodating. If your arm itched, he’d try to scratch it for you, if you shifted in your seat, he tried to adjust it, if you blinked, he readjusted the curtains, and he never stopped talking. At one point he watched Ryan playing a game on his phone and tried giving him advice.  Yikes.  At this point we were also beginning to feel slightly inundated with history and he had a lot of knowledge he wanted to share.

We were in for a 3-hour drive to see the Temple Abu Simbel, which is down on the border with Sudan and on Lake Nasser. The drive was long, especially with Mr. Yammers. Half-way we stopped to at a rest stop to use the restroom and view the mirages in the distance. The mirages were pretty cool, it looked like there was water in the distance, but there wasn’t.  About what you’d think a mirage would look like. The rest stop also had the most relaxed cat Elizabeth had ever seen.

Eventually we made it to our destination and got to see two temples. This temple, like Philae the day before, was flooded in the building of the dam and moved to higher elevation. We saw amazing black-and-white photos of them hand sawing the temple and statues into small pieces and reassembling them. These temples were built in 1265 BC by Ramsesses II. One temple is the final monument for the king and the second for his queen Nefertari.

They were such good astronomers and architects that direct sunlight only enters the holy of holy halls in the back of the temple twice a year. The first on Ramsesses’ birthday and the second on the day of his coronation. Since they moved the temple the date shifted back by one day and they now occur on October 22 and February 22 each year.

We walked around the two temples and inside. The place was deserted and Noel wasn’t allowed to enter with us, so we took our time wandering the rooms and halls all alone. Noel was keen to take lots of group pictures and lots of pictures of us kissing. Finally, we had to firmly say, no more pictures at the end, or we would have stopped every five-feet to snap one.

Back in the car we had falafel sandwiches waiting for us and a long 3-hour drive back. The temples were very cool to see, but were pretty far out of the way and by this point we’d had a lot of days of appreciating the old buildings. We were staying in the Nubian Village that night in a small hotel right on the Nile.  After we were dropped off, we found out there was a little discrepancy on the price and we used all of our cash paying the driver.  We had nothing left to tip with, let alone purchase dinner or pay for our cab the next day.  We also learned that all the ATMs were in the city, about a 30-minute drive away. We opted to just play cards in the sitting lounge and eat power bars and fruit we’d collected along the way. We’d been eating way too much anyway.

Day 9 – Aswan to Sharm el-Sheikh – November 26

We were up early yet again to catch our taxi to the airport at 6:30. Our car was an old Mercedes, so faded and beat up, we couldn’t tell if it was from the 80s or the 90s and our driver had a need for speed.  Ryan had to go through security on his own at first, so he could pull out money to pay the man.  He attempted to ask/talk to security about whether he could leave easily after going through, but they really didn’t get it.  Their English wasn’t great.  After pulling the money and just walking back out through a sign clearly marked, no exit, he got back to the ladies.  We then went through several security checkpoints, again being divided, between men and women.  The first guard’s face on seeing Ryan was at first surprised and then laughing.  He finally figured out what I had been trying to ask when I walked through the second time.  Our first flight was from Aswan to Cairo, approximately one hour and 15 minutes. We then spent 2 hours in a small airport lounge waiting our next flight from Cairo to Sharm el-Sheikh.  Hands-down the lamest lounge Ryan had ever been in; they didn’t even have alcohol.  Sharm is a very popular beach and resort town especially among Egyptians. After even more security we boarded our last flight and flew to the Red Sea.

We are staying in the Hilton Sharks Bay Resort, which is gigantic. After settling in we walked along the three pools down to the beach. They have a big floating dock you can snorkel off of that rolls with the waves. We enjoyed a drink at a rooftop bar before lounging pre-dinner enjoying the gorgeous mountain views opposite the sea. Dinner was another buffet, but the ladies missed our small boat and better food.  Ryan was happier with the food at the resort, maybe not because it was better, but because the selection was so much wider.  Today was a long travel day but, luckily, we have this nice resort to recuperate.

Day 10 – Mount Sinai – November 27

Ryan was still feeling a bit under the weather (really, he just wanted to sit by the pool and drink his free beer) and not in the mood for a long car ride, so Joan and Elizabeth abandoned him early in the morning to head to Mount Sinai. We didn’t really know what to expect or see besides the burning bus but figured we’d come this far and needed to check it out. We grabbed our hotel bag breakfasts and met our driver Mahmoud. It takes roughly 2 hours to get to Saint Catherine’s Monastery and Mount Sinai, so we left at 6:30 am. Our driver blared Arabic pop and R&B the entire drive and barely spoke – what a welcome change. The drive was absolutely beautiful. The mountains had gorgeous cliffs and peaks that made the drive whiz by.

We went through at least 10 checkpoints to get to the monastery. We had to get permissions for us and our vehicles to make it through and had to show our passports at one stop. Once we arrived, we were a little confused to what to do. Our guide didn’t have great English and we weren’t sure if he was coming with us or if we were on our own. The monastery is only open from 9-12 everyday and we arrived right at 9.  We walked through the old walls, the monastery was built before 500 AD, and were in with a large group of tourists.

We saw a group snapping a lot of pictures in a corner so we headed over to wait our turn. There were two bushes blocked by a fence. One looked like what we imagined the burning bush would look like and the other looked like a willow bush, however the willow bush had a mosaic of Moses under it. We snapped our underwhelming photo and tried to ask our guide which one was the real one, but he couldn’t understand our question.

Next, we passed a well.  It wasn’t clear what the historical importance was, but everyone was taking a photo. Then we headed into the chapel, where you couldn’t take photos. There were at least 30 chandeliers and incense holders hanging from the ceiling and lots of paintings of Jesus. Elizabeth thinks it’s a Coptic church and all the signs were in Greek. All told, it took about 30 minutes to get in and get out.  We’d traveled too far to get back in the car so soon, so we wandered the garden with 200-year-old olive trees and Joan found some magnets in the gift shops.

We made it back home in another 2 hours and at one checkpoint had to put the whole car through a metal detector. In 2005 Sharm el-Sheikh had Egypt’s second most deadly terrorist attack, meant to harm the tourist industry. They take security very seriously with metal detectors and machine guns as far as the eye can see.

We met back up with Ryan for lunch then spent the afternoon lounging by the pool and getting in the icy cold water. Ryan and Joan even went down the slide. After the sunset we got a drink at the rooftop bar then went to the Italian restaurant for dinner. We enjoyed a three-course meal and cheered our last night in Egypt.

Day 11 – Sharm el-Sheikh to Cairo – November 28  

We were sad our last morning. We ate breakfast, the best of the buffet meals, then lounged around the pool one last time before another buffet lunch. It was chillier today than other days and had a nice breeze in the air. Our taxi picked us up at 3:30 and we headed to the airport to begin our long day of flying.

We are flying first to Cairo as a group, arriving around 6:30 pm. Then Ryan and Elizabeth leave at 11 pm towards Namibia and Joan leaves at 2 am for Paris, then home. We have loved our time in Egypt and are so grateful to have gotten to see the northern portion of the country in Cairo, then the southern at Abu Simbel, finally ending on the Red Sea to the east. There is so much history here and so much mystery remaining about the ancient Egyptians. We highly recommend.

Things we’ve learned in Egypt:

  1. They fly as aggressively as they drive, terrifying flights.
  2. Hotels are obsessed with wake-up calls, even if you don’t ask for them or tell them your plans, they call.
  3. There is a speed bump every quarter mile, at least.
  4. Tipping is as confusing as it is stressful.

Istanbul, Turkey

Day 1 – November 13th

We touched down after a 2-hour flight from Israel at 7 pm. We had pre-purchased our Turkish visas online, so getting through immigration and customs was a breeze. Unfortunately, both airports in Istanbul are about 2 hours outside of the city via public transportation.  Or if you take a taxi, they’re only an hour fifteen, but much more expensive.  We tried to pick the most direct route, which meant we took a taxi to a metro stop, then rode a single metro line for an hour and a half into the city. We flew into the airport on the Asian side and went under the Mediterranean to emerge on the European side.

Exhausted, we finally made it to our hotel, the Nabu Hotel, which is an eclectic boutique hotel right in the Karaköy neighborhood. We walked past a series of great looking bars and restaurant – Ryan of course picked the foody section of the city. After dropping our stuff, we walked around looking for something quick to eat. We settled on street food at a restaurant called Izimir where we ate sheep intestine cut from a rotating spit. They mixed the meat with spices and vegetables and threw it in some French bread.  Ryan absolutely loved it.  We ate on our hotel patio enjoying the 60-degree weather and sounds of Istanbul nightlife.

Day 2 – November 14th

The next morning, we stopped by a café called Ops Cafe Karakoy to try Turkish tea and coffee. The tea was really good, not too different really than Lipton black tea, but is served steaming hot in a glass tulip cup, so there’s an art to holding it and drinking without burning yourself.  The coffee is served in an espresso cup and has the consistency of coffee sludge, Elizabeth was not a fan.  Ryan thought it was pretty good; he’s sure his brother R.J. would love it.  There are cats everywhere in this city, lounging around on outdoor furniture and boxes. Occasionally staff will shoo them away, but they seem pretty well fed.

We continued to walk down the street and stopped for Durum at a street food establishment. We opted for one chicken and one beef.  These are also meats on a spit, but cooked vertically instead of horizontally.  Then they are shaved off and mixed with bell peppers, pickles, cilantro and French fries in a wrap. We walked towards the city center munching on our skinny burritos.

We walked across the Galata Bridge, which is famous for the fisherman crowding the upper deck all hours of the day and night and the numerous restaurants below. The entire edge of the bridge on both sides was covered with men and long fishing poles, hunting for what type of fish, we don’t know. There’s a great view of old Istanbul and its skyline dotted with mosque after towering mosque. We walked along the ferry port, passing rows of street vendors selling roasted chestnuts and corn on the cob.

Then we headed through the Eminönü neighborhood, which seemed to consist almost entirely of tourist shops, before stopping into a baklava bakery. Ryan loves baklava and was in heaven picking out a few to sample. Turkish people, and Ryan, love pistachios, pastry, and honey. We walked across the street to Gülhane Park to enjoy our dessert on a bench. We were so happy to stumble upon this park; it is a sprawling picturesque grove of shallow green hills and autumn trees shedding their leaves. It looks like a lot of schools even come here for recess.  What a wonderful find.

We walked through the park and up to Sultanahmet, the main square with the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sophia. The Blue Mosque is open to non-Muslims between prayer times, so we went there first. Men have to wear pants and cover their shoulders and women have to have long pants and shirts and cover their heads. They cater to tourists and provide scarves and large skirts to both men and women not properly dressed who want to visit.  They are quite vigilant too; you have to go through a couple of checkpoints where staff make sure you aren’t showing too much skin.  The mosque was pretty, but per usual, under construction. A lot of the interior was covered up, but you could still see portions of the adorned archways and blue paintings. Also in typical fashion, there are separate spaces for men and women to pray.

After looking around for a few minutes, we put our shoes back on and wandered the grounds. They had a series of informational boards explaining different aspects of the Muslim faith and compares/contrasts it to Christianity and Judaism. We learned a lot reading about the Quran and their ideal lifestyle for followers of the faith. We felt very welcomed at this mosque.

Next, we walked across the park to the Hagia Sophia museum. This building was built around 360 AD, initially as a Greek Orthodox Christian cathedral, then converted to a mosque, and now secularized and used as a museum. Ryan found an audio guide online, so we shared a pair of earphones and walked around the old church arm in arm. Depictions of animals or humans in paintings or statutes are not allowed in mosques, so a lot of the beautiful mosaic work was covered up during the Christian to Muslim transition – and is now revealed once again. It was great to see a building with Arabic and Muslim writing next to Christian mosaics. This church is ancient and we learned that a number of earthquakes have struck it over the years, some more damaging than others. We spent a few hours walking around and discovering the history of the mosaics and the building, before finally heading back to the hotel.

We had noticed something strange upon our arrival to Istanbul, but especially as we were walking around the main tourist spots: several men with bloody and bandaged heads. After some Googling we learned that Istanbul is the leader in hair transplant surgery and people travel from all over the Middle East to have the procedure done. They remove the good follicles from the back of your head and move them to the top. People then make a weekend of it, seeing the sites and recovering; it was not the most pleasant wound to see.

We caught the tram and lounged in bed before getting hungry. Our TV is always set to a music video channel, so we get sucked in watching music videos for at least 20 minutes every time we go home. For dinner that night we ate down the road from our hotel at a hookah bar. They enticed us in with a delicious-looking stuffed burger. Elizabeth ate the burger, with meat wrapped in salami, wrapped in cheese, wrapped in pizza dough, sprinkled with sesame seeds, while Ryan ate a version of jägerschnitzel with incredible French fries. It was so delicious for bar food. After our late dinner we went straight to bed.

Day 3 – November 15th

The call to prayer woke us up around 6:30 in the morning.  Don’t know how we’d missed it the morning before, as it’s blasted from several nearby mosque speaker systems. We managed to fall back to sleep and left the house for breakfast/lunch at Köşebaşı Karaköy. It was a bit of a nicer place, in the lobby of a hotel.  They brought out a dozen small plates to ask if we wanted any starters. We choose a few cheeses and spicy tomato paste dishes to eat with delicious warm bread before they brought our main courses. Which consisted of a Turkish pizza and kebabs. You eat the pizza by putting lettuce and tomatoes on top and rolling it up. The spicy lamb kebabs came with cooked pepper and tomato. After eating more than we thought we could, we were fully stuffed and satisfied.

We dragged our full bellies back across the bridge and through the park to the Topkapi Palace. We walked into the huge palace grounds not yet appreciating how big it was. We walked through various rooms and displays, one showing dozens of expensive, delicate old clocks and another showing ornate armor and weapons, from almost medieval age to turn of the century. We’ve never seen such finely decorated swords and rifle butts and couldn’t imagine any of this equipment being used in battle. Next, we wound our way through an area with great views over the Mediterranean/Bosphorus and the other sections of Istanbul. Ryan’s highlight was the circumcision room, which just looked like any other room, but that’s where they performed the princely circumcisions.  Lastly, we saw an exhibit consisting only of old cookware. We skipped a lot of exhibits and rooms and were still there for hours.  We got our money’s worth. Then we hopped back on the tram to Karaköy.

That night we walked towards the Galata district for dinner and drinks.  Ryan wanted to eat more lamb intestine sandwich, so we found another shop and sat along the street people watching. Since we were in the area, we decided to walk into the bar district of the neighborhood by the tall Galata Tower that was light up in a blue light. We settled on a bar called the Tower Pub, enjoying popcorn, beer, and Elizabeth losing at chess 5 times in a row. We called it after midnight and walked the steep cat-filled streets home.

Day 4 – November 16th

The next morning, we went to Mum’s Café for brunch. We got lucky and nabbed a table right on the busy street. We sipped our coffee and tea and enjoyed a Turkish breakfast. Elizabeth got menemen, a Turkish egg dish with tomatoes, green pepper and cheese. It was fabulous. Ryan got an eggs benedict with beef bacon, and we wrapped it all up with a cinnamon roll. What a great way to start a day.

We had one museum left on our museum pass so we walked again over the bridge of fishermen. This time we walked further along the water. We stopped at a lookout point that showed the Bosphorus Bridge over the Bosphorus Strait: the bridge connecting the European side of Istanbul to the Asian side.

Next, we walked through our favorite park again Gülhane which was now packed with children and families since it was Saturday. Our last museum was the Archeological Museum and it wasn’t very crowded. The first room was all Egyptian and Mesopotamian things. We saw a few mummies and lots of hieroglyphics – getting us ready and excited for Egypt in just a few days. They also had old sculptures thrown in a garden that looked old and important. Our final building held old pots and plates, but each room had beautiful blue mosaic tiles decorating the floor, walls, and ceiling.

Exhausted, we hopped back on the train towards our hotel to take a little rest. That night for dinner we ate Lebanese and Turkish food at a restaurant called Tahin. We drank more Turkish tea and started with spicy potato French fries and a mixed platter with chicken, Turkish dumplings, and more fried things. Then we ended with a four-hummus sample platter, which were all tasty, but we couldn’t really tell which hummus was which.

We decided to get some after dinner drinks and stopped by a bar called BUN&BAR right below our hotel. We drank wine and beer and wanted some dessert so we ordered the fruit pail. Elizabeth thought it would be a little fruit tray, but we got a whole apple and pear, nectarine, grapes, pineapple, oranges, clementine, etc. they also gave us free popcorn so it was a strange flavor mix.

Day 5 – November 17th

The next morning, we headed to church called Sent Antuan Kilisesi. We’d found mass in English at 10 am, so Elizabeth was excited.  We hadn’t been to an English service since we left the U.K.  The church was on top of a huge hill, behind a myriad of winding alleyways and narrow streets, so we were pretty sweaty when we finally got there after getting turned around a few times. We found seats in plastic chairs along the side of the church. The place was packed and had some interesting demographics. The priest was Indian, the choir was all Asian women, and 90% of the congregation was African males. We guess there is work here for African males and this church is their community away from home since they have an English service. Unfortunately, we could still barely understand the priest as it echoed a lot in the large church.

The church was located in another neighborhood of Istanbul called Beyoglu. We walked up and down the street which was lined with stores and restaurants. We tried to find a few new outfits but all the clothes were for winter weather and we were heading south. Eventually, we stopped in a bar to have a beer and figure out what to do with our afternoon. We got some onion rings as appetizers, but they left a lot to be desired.  They were chopped onions mixed with breading and deep fried.  We decided to get some more durum and walk go over to the Grand Bazaar to do some shopping.  We shared one chicken and one beef durum, but unfortunately they weren’t as tasty as other ones we’d had.

We had a decent amount of money left on our transportation card so we took the funicular down the hill, not upset about skipping the walk down, then caught the metro towards the main city. Sadly, upon arrival we realized the Grand Bazaar isn’t open, Ryan was secretly relieved to not be harassed and have to haggle. We popped in a few nearby shops then rode the metro back towards our house. Not wanting to go back to our room, we found a little coffee shop to sip for an hour or so on espresso and a chai tea latte.

Finally, it was time for another drink so we went to a bar right below our hotel called Berlin Line which we believe had been pumping party jams up through our floor until 3 or 4 am both Friday and Saturday night. Elizabeth tried another Turkish wine and Ryan a beer. They had cheesy fries on the menu so Ryan stooped to Elizabeth’s level and ordered them. They were absolutely amazing. She couldn’t have asked for anything better in her whole life. After a few more drinks we decided to end our health-conscious cheesy fry dinner with a trip to Pango the mini pancake kiosk. We shared mini pancakes covered in chocolate, strawberries, bananas and ice cream. It was Elizabeth’s dream meal.  We had a long day of travel tomorrow, so we called it a somewhat early night.

Day 6 – November 18th

We checked out of our hotel and made the long journey to the Istanbul airport. Luckily, we got to the bus when we did because they only had two spots left. Driving out of Istanbul it got very smoky (or foggy?), apparently there have been a lot of wildfires plaguing Turkey this year. When we arrived at the airport and had a ridiculously smooth check-in and security process. Ryan was so excited because we got to go in the Turkish Air Lounge thanks to our Star Alliance Gold status. This was, hands down, the fanciest airport lounge we’d ever been in. It had a piano that played itself, countless food counters with freshly made food, drinks, coffee, relaxation rooms, a movie theater with popcorn, dessert tables, and very comfortable furniture. Elizabeth was worried we’d miss our flight having to drag Ryan out. All too soon, we left paradise and boarded our flight to Cairo, we wished we’d had more time in Turkey and could have ventured out of Istanbul, hopefully we’ll be back.

Things we’ve learned in Turkey:

  1. Men sell scratch off lottery tickets by on foot from bar to bar.
  2. Pepper on French fries tastes amazing.
  3. When Turkey’s tourist industry took a hit due to terrorism and geopolitical issues, the hair transplant tourism sector was unaffected.
  4. We never learned how to pronounce thank you, it’s teşekkür ederim.

Israel

Day 1 – Tel Aviv – November 6

After a long flight (4.2 hours), we touched down in the pitch dark of Tel Aviv. Immigration was a total nightmare and we spent over 45 minutes just standing in line at passport control. There were several kiosk stations but no real line demarcation, so it was a large blob of people pushing around. Eventually we made it through and received our visa cards. Because Israel isn’t recognized by some countries, they don’t stamp your passport, otherwise many Middle Eastern countries won’t let you in. Instead they give you a slip of paper with your information and picture.

We collected our bags and began the confusing process of buying public transport tickets and finding the train. We are normally pretty good at this sort of thing, but we struggled tonight.  Maybe it’s because everything is in Hebrew script, and we’re used to Latin letters.  Luckily, we made it on the train into the city just as it was pulling up, then transferred to a bus to take us to our discount hotel right near the beach. The hotel wasn’t very nice and still kind of expensive, but it’s right in the heart of Tel Aviv. We were pretty hungry so we walked a few blocks to a local joint for a pita and falafel.  Really cheap and really good. The town was alive with young adults, bar hopping and eating dinner. We took our food to go and walked back to the beach. The beach was also bustling with all ages of people, from teens to the elderly, walking dogs, jogging, and showing off bike and skateboard tricks. We walked up and down the boardwalk happy to be back in 70-degree weather and wearing shorts again.  Tired from our flight and a little thrown off by the time change, we fell asleep quickly.

Day 2 – Tel Aviv – November 7

The sun disturbed us bright and early at 6 am. After ignoring it for several hours, we finally got dressed and headed to the boardwalk to get in a little exercise and enjoy the wonderful weather. The boardwalk was abuzz with people exercising and using the various outdoor work out equipment.  If we didn’t know better, we’d think we were in California’s Venice Beach. We walked past several sand volleyball courts where an international men’s and women’s competition was taking place.  A few hours later we actually saw two players leaving our hotel, so maybe that’s contributing to why lodging is so expensive.  We hung out in the shade watching bits of the game then jogged up the boardwalk to the dog beach. The strip of beach is huge and full of different bars, restaurants, playgrounds etc. we had no idea Israel would be like this!

After a brief jog, since Europe made us fat and out of shape, we tried using some of the exercise equipment. The men here are jacked and the women slim, beautiful and bronze. After feeling inadequate, we walked back to the sand volleyball area where a woman in a tourist information booth told us the USA men’s team was playing. We watched for a while, until we realized it was actually the Polish team. We went back to our hotel to shower and changed.

Hungry we headed towards the Carmel Market to get lunch. This area has a big Shuk, or market place, with canopies overhead connecting rooftops that made it feel like the markets you see in Aladdin. It felt very similar to Morocco but the people were less aggressive. We passed a bunch of delicious desert shops that had what looked like several baklava varieties.

We stopped for lunch at a restaurant called Shmuel. It was down an alley from the main shopping stretch and packed with people. Our waitress was very friendly and spoke English. We got two pitas, one with shawarma and one with Shmuel (a mix of chicken liver and ground lamb kebap patties). They may have been one of the most amazing things we’ve tasted. The meat was so juicy and it soaked into the bread, and the vegetables and sauces were so delicious. We washed it down with a cool beer and enjoyed sitting in the alley and people watching.

After we stopped in one of the dessert stations and grabbed a few treats. Each one tasted like a different ratio of bread, honey and pistachio- each tasting slightly different but hard to distinguish. We are so excited to keep eating here! After a little more wandering and walking through a park we made it back to the hotel.

Israel is on the far eastern edge of its time zone and should actually be in a different time zone if you look at its geography. This whole area of Cypress, Syria, and Israel all decided it wanted to be with the eastern European countries. The downside is the sun sets at 4:45 pm. We walked to the beach to watch it set over the ocean then spent the night lounging and catching up on planning.

Day 3 – Tel Aviv – November 8

Elizabeth’s field camp roommate, Britney, lives in Tel Aviv with her boyfriend Itay. She is from California but moved here five years ago after getting a job in wastewater treatment and desalinization. She was able to get her Israeli citizenship since both her parents are Jewish. Interesting tidbit, Israel is a Jewish State and has their weekend on Friday and Saturday, as the Sabbath is celebrated Friday night.  Everyday is a Saturday for us though, so it didn’t really take any getting used to.  Britney met us at our hotel at 9 am and we rode the bus towards Yafo. Yafo is an Arabic town that merged with Tel Aviv some years ago and the official name is now Tel Aviv-Yafo. They curated this awesome park and green space that stretches down the beach and attaches the two cities. Yafo is older and has more Arabic architecture so it reminded us of Morocco.

We went to a restaurant called Café Pua right in Mahane Yehuda Market, or as the locals call it The Shuk. The Shuk here is like a giant antique market and Britney said they furnished their whole apartment finding gems here. The restaurant is fully furnished from the markets too and everything inside is mismatched and for sale. We ate so much food, and were given free tap water!  Holy Land indeed. Elizabeth got the shakshuka which is a dish of eggs poached in a tomato sauce and Ryan got a dish with fried eggplant and a pita/naan-like bread.  They also had a variety of sauces and spreads to put on the bread. It was all very, very tasty.

After a very filling lunch, we walked all around The Shuk and along the sea. We found an old catholic church called Saint Peters and popped inside while they were holding a Russian mass. There are three official languages in Israel: Hebrew, Arabic and Russian. English isn’t an official language, but a lot of people speak it. Next, we hopped on a bus back north to Britney’s neighborhood.

It was strange to think of a Friday afternoon like a Saturday afternoon but people started coming out to grab beers and enjoy the nice weather. Britney was so excited we came when we did, because we are lucky to be experiencing unseasonably warm weather.  Less tourists on the beach!  Since the country is under religious rule the buses stop running at 3 pm on Fridays for the Sabbath and resume Saturday evening. Any establishment that is open on the Sabbath has to pay a fee, so it’s a bit harder to find dinner restaurants open and everyone makes a reservation, evidently well in advance. We were a little late to the game and had reservations at 5:15, but we were excited for an early dinner. We found a bar and enjoyed a few Gold Stars – Israeli beer. Britney taught us a lot about the Israeli political system and all the issues their country is facing. She also talked about Iron Dome, the anti-missile protection they have to intercept things coming over the border. She told us that the alarms sound whenever a missile is shot but they are always intercepted and missile debris falls to the ground, generally harmlessly, but not always.  It’s fairly uncommon for the missiles to make it all the way to Tel Aviv.

We separated from Britney for a couple hours to lounge and get dressed for dinner, then she and Itay picked us up and we headed to dinner at Magazzino, their favorite Italian restaurant. They are both Jewish ethnically, but not practicing, so we enjoyed bacon pizza and salad for our appetizer. Next, we shared calamari and mushrooms on polenta, then finished with a couple pastas, ragu and carbonara. We had a long, tasty dinner, which they capped with shots on the house. Apparently, it’s quite common here, and the waitress typically takes a shot with you. Ryan tried their classic Israeli liquor, Arak, which smelled like black liquorish and tasted like poison.  For dessert we had what is fondly referred to as crack pie, and if that’s what crack tastes like, sign us up.

After dinner, we dropped the car off at their apartment and met their crazy dog Loki, a French bulldog. We grabbed some beach equipment, some wine and the dog then walked towards the beach to hang out and let the dog go wild. After we found a stretch of basically deserted beach where we could lounge and enjoy our wine, Britney and Itay let us know again how lucky we were; usually this beach would be packed with tourists in this weather. We spent the next few hours learning more about Israeli culture; Itay just finished his mandatory army service and was telling us all about his postings on the various borders of Israel. Around midnight, we called it and we took a Lime scooter down the boardwalk back to our hotel, two people on a Lime with their bellies full of wine is surprisingly tough to handle.

Day 4 – Tel Aviv – November 9

Itay and Britney picked us up around 11 to take us to the best hummus in town at Abu Hassan. It was back down in the old town, so the boys parked the car and the girls stood outside waiting for a table. We didn’t wait long; it’s very fast paced: you’re seated and have food within seconds. Then it’s an eat and get out situation.  Much unlike most of the places we’d been in the past few months, no time was wasted. Itay said he’s been coming here his whole life. We got 3 cold hummus, one hot, and one Arabic cheese. The pita bread was endless and oh-so-soft. We added a salad and lemon oil and the dense food quickly filled it. We washed it down with potentially the greatest lemonade of Elizabeth’s life.

Itay had homework to finish, so he dropped us off at a giant park where we had the intention rock climbing at their big outdoor wall.  A substantial portion of Tel Aviv’s population live in apartments or small homes without yards, so on the weekends all the families are out playing in the parks or the outdoors. Thus, the rock wall was slammed. Not wanting to fall on a child or fight to get to a route, we hopped on some scooters and road along the river back to the ocean. We went back to the same beach we’d gone to the night before, but it looked much different in the daylight and was packed with scores of people swimming, sun bathing, and playing a paddle ball game (an Israeli pastime).

We lounged for a few hours, chatting and cooling down in the Mediterranean. We were next to a beach with tall walls, where religious Jewish women can enjoy the beach away from men. Looking around at everyone on the beach, we decided that Israel has the most beautiful and fit people we’ve seen on our travels thus far. Eventually, it was time to shower off and find a drink at one of the many overpriced beach bars. The views and ambiance were worth it and we shared French fries and enjoyed the sunset. 

After saying good-bye to Britney and teasing her about having to go to work, we walked back towards our hotel along the beach. Tel Aviv has been such a surprisingly awesome modern city. Britney tells us things will be different outside the Tel Aviv bubble. We needed a little more food so we stopped by a restaurant called Red Meat and shared a beef patty sandwich with mustard, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, and at least 5 other sauces. It was awesome.

Day 5 – Ein Gedi and the Dead Sea – November 10

The next morning, we grabbed some yogurt and snacks from the grocery store then headed off to the car dealership for what we thought would be a breezy pick up. Israel doesn’t really believe in lines or efficiency. We waited in line for about an hour to pick up our car reservation before they slapped some extra fees on as “it’s the law.” It was pretty frustrating, since we only wanted the car for one day to see a nature reserve called Ein Gedi and visit the Dead Sea. After an eternity, we were off and battling the brutal traffic. For being such a young country with relatively new infrastructure, we aren’t quite sure who designed these narrow and windy roads.

We were on the main Highway 1 and passed by Jerusalem and a lot of desert. For being called the fertile crescent, at times it doesn’t look too fertile. We left Israel, kind of, to enter the West Bank. This area is still Israeli controlled, but part of the conflict with the Palestinians. Don’t worry we were assured it was safe for travel and the border control waved us through. We drove along the Dead Sea for about 30 minutes passing a lot of palm tree farms and we could see the rings from the water of the Dead Sea receding over the years. Towards the southern edge we crossed back into official Israeli territory and arrived at the Ein Gedi Nature Reserve.

Since we got off to a late start, due to our rental car slowdown, the ticket woman said we’d need to hustle to make the hour-long hike to the cave. We took off walking like maniacs and passed several small waterfalls collectively called David’s Waterfall. Next it was slick limestone stair after slick limestone stair and we had to use a few metal railings to pull ourselves up as we climbed along the cliff and up towards the cave. The views of the surroundings and the Dead Sea were breathtaking. We slowed down halfway when we realized we were way ahead of schedule and out of shape (we’d only been walking for 15 minutes). The path took us deep into the river oasis, through a thicket of reeds that had formed a tunnel. We climbed up and down and over a few streams before descending a makeshift ladder into the cave. The whole hike was gorgeous and we got to see what Elizabeth had pictured Israel to look like.

Next, we drove back towards the northern end of the Dead Sea to Kalia Beach. We gladly paid the entrance fees then made the hike down to the water’s edge. Since the only water source to this ancient cutoff ocean is the Jordan river, which is being used more and more by industry and municipality, the Dead Sea has been shrinking.  You can see the salt lines from previous water levels as you walk down the slope to the beach. Kalia Beach has free mud (some places either mine it all to sell or just charge for it), and Elizabeth was ready to cover her body and rejuvenate her almost-30-year-old skin. The seafloor was surprisingly sharp in places due to all the crystallized salt, but we carefully made our way into the water. This section is 430 meters below sea level and the deepest land on Earth.

The water was slightly cool and you could instantly feel the difference to any other body of water we’d been in.  It just felt heavier. After walking to our mid shins, we gently sat down and lifted up. All of our pictures look like we are laying on the ground in shallow water, but we are floating atop at least 4 feet of water. It was so much fun and an intense ab work out when laying on your back. We took lots of high school senior picture poses.

Finally, it was time for the mud bath. Elizabeth found a nice chuck of mud and spread it over every bit of exposed skin she could find; maybe it’ll cure her wart. Ryan didn’t partake in the mud, but accumulated a lot of salt in his beard and hair.

Since the sun sets so early, and our various orifices were burning from all the salt, we didn’t get quite as much time in the sea as we wanted, so we showered and headed for the bar. We couldn’t miss an opportunity for a Gold Star at the Lowest Bar in the World. It got dark fast and we battled the traffic an hour and half back to Tel Aviv. Exhausted, we picked up cheap Chinese food and had a hotel room party, still finding salt crystals in our hair.

Day 6 – Jerusalem – November 11

The next morning, we got up early to be first in line to drop the rental car back off. It was again a partial nightmare, but we made it through and were out the door. Today’s journey would take us to Jerusalem. We hopped on a city bus to get to a major bus terminal, then got on a coach bus to make the non-stop 50-minute journey to Jerusalem. The bus was full of both civilians and soldiers, and the soldiers just ride with their machine guns dangling down in their laps. After arriving at the main Jerusalem bus terminal, we hopped on another city bus to take us to the old town.

The bus driver must have been having an off day and we were held captive for a bit, while he skipped stops and eventually let us off at the Western Wall.  The Western Wall is the only remaining part of the Second Temple (Herod’s Temple) where Jesus used to teach. This is one of the most holy sites for Jews as the majority of the temple was destroyed by the Romans in 70 A.D.  To get in, you have to go through security and it’s separated for men and women. You can mingle together in the main plaza but if you want to go to the wall, there is a men’s side and a women’s side. There seemed to be a number of Bar Mitzvahs happening and large bands were playing and balloon bouquets led young men towards the wall for the ceremony. After the ceremony, you throw candy at the new man, and since women can’t go on the men’s side, they climb up and throw it over the wall. Ryan put on a kippah and was able to go into the side room for prayer. People lean on the wall to pray and stick pieces of paper with prayers into the cracks in the walls.  It was a powerful experience for Ryan.  Places like this, with such an intense history, leave an impression on your soul regardless of your personal beliefs.

It was a truly interesting experience and amazing to see something so old and so revered. We walked back outside the old cities walls and walked towards the Garden of Gethsemane. Along the way we passed the Mount of Olives, where thousands of Jews are buried; allegedly, when the savior returns the people buried here will be resurrected first. We passed some very old graves of important Jewish families in Absalom’s Tomb. The gates were open and we were alone to wander through the crypt and old monument. The ceilings were black from years of smoke from fires lighting the paths in the crypts.

We walked up the hill and into the Garden of Gethsemane. Olive trees can live longer than 2000 years, so while walking around the garden we saw the trees that could have been around during Christ’s agony.  You can’t walk through the gardens, but you can walk around the perimeter then go into the Basilica of Agony, the church right next to it. The church was built around a rock that they believe is the rock Jesus prayed on the night before his crucifixion. The church was beautiful and the mosaic ceiling was decorated to represent the various countries who contributed to the building.

Next, we walked to Tomb of the Virgin the site of Mary’s tomb. We weren’t able to go in, as the priests took a lunch break from noon to 2:30 pm, but we were able to stand in the square and see the grotto behind it.

Next, we headed back towards the Old City walking through Herod’s Gate to walk the Via Dolorosa, or the stations of the cross. There are a couple different versions of the walk, and it’s not believed to be entirely historically accurate, but it’s in the ballpark of where things went down. You can find the stations along the buildings on the Via Dolorosa, but they aren’t large and can be tricky to find. The roads are quite narrow and you have to share with large tour groups who huddle around the various stations to say a prayer or sing a song. We got lost a few times, but managed to see all but one of the stations before it ends at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. It was hard at times to focus on the stations of the cross since you walk through market stall, after market stall of souvenirs with shop people beckoning you to their piles of crap.

We didn’t know what to expect out of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, but we would describe it as the most disorganized church we’ve ever entered. This is celebrated as the site of Jesus’s death, burial and resurrection. Inside there is hardly any signage to know what you’re looking at or order to walk through this maze of a church. It was packed with people and had a lot of small rooms that offshoot from the major area which was multiple stories. There is a stone on the floor which is celebrated as Jesus’ stone he was laid to rest on. People rub it, but also rub all of their souvenirs on it, so you have to stand in line behind a lady with 15 scarves to rub down the stone before you can get your turn.  It’s unfortunate that such an important piece of Christianity is not respected more by those professing the faith.

We were hungry and began our search for shawarma. We’ve been told that Jerusalem is the best place to get this type of spiced meat on a spit. We settled for one in the tourist area because our phone reception wasn’t great and we couldn’t figure out how to escape the Old City walls. We split a beef wrap with sauce and veggies. It was heavenly! The actual meal was cheap and we only felt screwed when we bought a can of Coke for $5, though it did taste wonderful.

We found our way out of the old town through the Damascus Gate and walked up to the Garden Tomb area. This is another site that claims to be the burial place of Jesus. The people working the gate were incredibly friendly and gave us a brochure explaining why they think this is the actual burial place of Jesus. Jesus was put to death at Golgotha which translates to the place of the skull and here, above a bus station is a rock formation that looks like a skull. They explain that crucifixions often took place near busy roads, so more people could see the crimes committed – similar to public executions. They have dated an old wine press and believe that the garden area next to the rock formation could have belonged to Joseph of Arimathea and there is an old tomb there.

We walked through the garden, which had a number of side grotto areas with different church groups praying, singing, and taking communion. We then had the chance to view the tomb where Jesus may have been buried. It was amazing to get to walk where Jesus walked, but just slightly frustrating that there is so much confusion over where things may or may not have happened.  We made the journey back to the bus station and caught the hour-long ride home. That night we met Britney for dinner at a Thai fusion restaurant, where Itay’s brother happened to work.  He wasn’t there tonight unfortunately. It was delicious and spicy.

Day 7 – Nazareth – November 12

We got up around 6, just after sunrise, and scooted across town to Britney’s house. The roads were practically deserted, which helped us navigate the roads, as we attempted to ride our scooter and balance our laundry bags.  We made it to her house in one piece and she kindly let us start a load of laundry. She works in northern Israel, which happens to be a short bus ride away from Nazareth, so we kept her company on her one hour commute up north. She commutes anywhere between 1 to 2 hours one way each day. Crazy. She dropped us off at the mall so we could hang out before the bus came to take us to Nazareth at 8:30.

Not 5 minutes after dropping us off, she called to let us know that Gaza had been pounding southern Israel with missiles – a few even making it to Tel Aviv.  Apparently, the alarms started sounding about 15 minutes after we left, then we didn’t listen to the news as we chatted our way up north. She said we were safe in the north, but her boss would let her off early after lunch so she could take us back to Tel Aviv.  Early this morning, Israeli launched an airstrike in Gaza, killing their Jihadist commander who had been orchestrating attacks on southern Israel.  This set off a furious retaliation from Gaza, who vowed revenge.  Iron Dome is far more technologically advanced than anything the Palestinians have, so the dozens of missiles they fired in return had virtually not affect on the residents of Israel.

We drank our coffee and boarded the bus towards Nazareth. Again, there were lots of soldiers with their machine guns, but no one seemed concerned about the missiles. We got to Nazareth and walked 20 minutes to the city center. We were there early, so no tourists seemed to have arrived yet. Our first stop was the Church of Annunciation. This church is built upon an old living quarter where they believe Mary lived and where the Angel Gabriel came to her to announce her pregnancy with Jesus. The church was huge and beautiful. On the lower level you can walk up to look into the old dwelling. The ceiling is open to the second floor where you sit around the hole looking down and can see the large altar and big windows. The tour groups were starting to arrive but still didn’t feel crowded.

From here we walked up to St. Joseph’s Church. Out front is a large statue of St. Joseph and his legs are polished bronze, it seems like people are rubbing his knees for good luck.

Inside the church was again two floors and build on old dwelling places of people during Jesus’ time. This is thought to have been a carpenter’s shop where Joseph worked. On the upper floor is a modern chapel that hosts mass. We walked further north, passing an old Muslim Cemetery and finally to a landmark called Mary’s Well, which is supposed to have healing waters. Unfortunately, no water was running from the fountain and there were piles of trash lying around.

Nazareth isn’t very large, but we are glad we came to see where Jesus grew up. We wish we’d had more time and a car to drive up to see the Sea of Galilee (which is actually much smaller on the map than we thought it would be) but alas, next time. We hopped back on the bus and wandered around the mall until Britney could pick us up and we drank a few Israeli craft beers. On the commute home we drove along the coast. The missiles were no longer making it up to Tel Aviv, so it was safe to return. She played tour guide and pulled off in a town called Caesarea to show us some old Roman Aqueducts on the beach. You could see one of the giant desalinization plants she works on in the distance.

We dropped the car off at her house and ate a late lunch at a restaurant called HaKosem, home to Britney’s favorite falafel. Elizabeth got a falafel pita and Ryan a shawarma wrap. Both tasted heavenly. I think we like Israeli cuisine.

We hung out at her apartment the rest of the evening playing a board game called Blokus and eating various Israeli cookies and cheese and crackers. It’s been so wonderful seeing friends again! We kept the news on all evening and saw videos of a few near missile crises but luckily there haven’t been any injuries on the Israeli side. We grabbed our clean clothes and walked back home through the city. We asked the hotel front desk if there was a bomb shelter and he told us not to worry, everything is very safe thanks to Iron Dome.  He said he walked around outside during the earlier siren. We didn’t hear a siren all night.

Day 8 – Tel Aviv to Istanbul – November 13

After a final long jog and walk along the beach it was time to say good-bye to Israel. It’s been such a great week here, but since the missiles are still flying, we weren’t disappointed to have to leave. We caught the city bus to the train station and were to the airport nice and early. We couldn’t check our bags so we hung out watching Netflix until the kiosk opened. Only once we tried to check our bags did we realize we’d missed a security check. We had to go back out to the main area and wait in a long line to be asked several questions by immigration/security. Once we got our stickers, we checked Elizabeth’s bag and Ryan’s had to go to special luggage since he had exposed backpack straps.

The special agent gave Ryan lots of trouble about the Banana Grams and shampoo in his bag repeatedly asking if he’d bought it in Israel. Finally, his bag was approved and we walked to regular security. The lines weren’t horrible but lots of old people who couldn’t figure out how to take their coats off. Then, just when you think you’re done waiting in line, there was one final passport check. Elizabeth made it through on the machines but Ryan’s beard confused the computer since he is clean shaven in his passport, so he had to wait for an agent to wave him through. We spent over 2 hours getting through all the various securities in Israel, something we were warned about but didn’t think it’d be that intensive. We spent our last hour in the lounge across from our gate eating hummus and tahini before boarding our flight to Istanbul.

Things we’ve learned in Israel:

  1. They call shots ‘chasers’.  Seems backwards.
  2. They pronounce A.M. and P.M. like am and pom. Example, “let’s meet for drinks tonight at 9 pom.”
  3. Hebrew is the only dead language that has been successfully brought back to life.
  4. You can’t be buried in Israel with tattoos, so they cut them off your dead body.

Belgium and the Netherlands

Day 1 – Brussels – October 26

We got into Brussels after dark around 8:30. We trained from the larger Midi Station, outside of town, to the central one, then only had to walk a few minutes to our hotel. Most of the hotels in Brussels were already booked so we splurged, using Ryan’s Marriott points to stay for free in a luxury downtown hotel for 3 nights. We got to the hotel and immediately put on our fancy bathrobes and slippers. We spent the night lounging in a divinely soft bed.

Day 2 – Brussels – October 27

It’s great staying in a hotel with a gym, and we took advantage of their cardio machines and free weights. We’ve been getting fat this last month and it was time to burn some calories. After rinsing off the sweat, we dressed and headed to the huge cathedral for Mass. The church is stunning, showing off a classic Gothic design with rows of beautiful sculptures along the aisles.  In line with their multiple official languages, the service was half in French and half in Dutch. They also had a beautiful choir backed by a booming organ, which made the 1.5-hour service seem not so long. After walking around the church, it was time to find some food.

The city center of Brussels is casually beautiful, with a series of imposing, old buildings in unique colors and architectures. We walked through the indoor mall area that is lined with chocolate stores and cafes. When know Godiva is Belgian and is basically non-existent. After passing by a dozen or so, we broke down and stopped into a quaint little shop to buy a small assortment of chocolate raisins and nuts to snack on as we found some lunch. We are getting pretty chilly walking around in 50-degree weather without any real warm clothes.

We walked through the main squares and into a beer shop to see all the wide array of Belgian beers.  Belgians are quite proud of their beer and known far and wide for a particular type of yeast they use, which gives the beer a distinctly funky flavor.  Finally, we found lunch at an outdoor stand called Fritland. You line up and at the window choose between 10 different sauces to cover your french-fries and sandwiches. We got a gigantic sausage sandwich that was covered in onions, fries and spicy samurai sauce. It was so good going down, but left Elizabeth feeling like a sack of poop, though she says it was totally worth it.  We found a classic Belgian pub called Roosters and got a few beers, while we pretended to watch soccer and hang out.

By late afternoon, we were itching to return to our fancy room and bathrobes. On the way home we stopped in one of the 100 waffle shops to get a Belgian waffle covered in chocolate. They were still cleaning our room when we got up to it, so we had to get a few cocktails in the hotel bar and plan some of our future trips. Once they were done cleaning, we ended the night lounging and relaxing. Ryan insisted we watch the movie In Bruges to prepare for our trip the next day to the medieval city.

Day 3 – Bruges – October 28

The next morning, after another desperate workout to get those French fries off us, we splurged on the expensive hotel buffet breakfast. Ryan loves, and he means loves, a hotel buffet breakfast. They must have experienced a small power outage right as we sat down because the staff was scurrying around and some of the porridge etc. was cold, it worked out well for us in the end, because they waived the bill and it was still pretty good. After eating as much breakfast as we could, we got on the hour-long train heading west to Bruges.

The city of Bruges is absolutely stunning. It was full of tourists, but didn’t feel as overwhelming as other small medieval cities we’d been to. Ryan pulled up the In Bruges movie tour and we wandered to places where scenes from the movie were shot.

Eventually we found ourselves in front of the big cathedral called Church of Our Lady Bruge and we walked inside looking at all of their brilliantly crafted paintings and statues. The church has a separate museum where you can see Michelangelo’s statue of Mary and Jesus, but we didn’t think it was worth the 5-dollar ticket. The free part of the church was impressive enough.

We continued wandering along the canals and other gorgeous buildings. There were a plenty of tourists on little canal boat tours and it reminded Elizabeth of Venice, but on a larger scale. Eventually we found the main square and the Belfort, or the tallest tower in the city. The line to climb to the top had a 45-minute wait and a 12 euro fee, so we elected to skip it and admire it from the ground.

Next, we went to the Basilica of the Holy Blood. They have a relic that is believed to be a cloth soaked in Jesus blood retrieved by Joseph of Arimathea when he was cleaning Jesus’ body after his crucifixion. You make a donation then walk up a small flight of stairs to look at the bottle that is guarded by a priest. They know the bottle is a perfume bottle believed to be from the Byzantine empire in the early 1100s. The bottle has never been opened and has been a relic at this church since the early 1200s. You couldn’t take pictures of the relic or it’s altar but you could of the rest of the church, which was also intensely decorated.

We were starting to feel a little thirsty so we found a bar called De Garre, which was located at the end of a narrow and virtually hidden alleyway. It was a really neat little pub, with the beers delivered on linen doilies and silver trays. We sat on the top floor drinking local Belgian beers, the house beer is brewed specifically for this bar, and eating delicious cheese. After a few rounds and learning all of the above information about the precious blood we headed back out on the town.

We hadn’t had chocolate in a while so we stopped in a shop called Leonidas established in 1913 and got their variety pack. They were so rich and delicious we couldn’t eat them all.  That of course didn’t stop us from visiting another shop down the road, thinking they had chocolate covered Rice Krispy treats, only to be disappointed upon taking a bite and finding it was just chocolate covered crispies with no marshmallow. The walk back to the train station was beautiful and we’d highly recommend Bruges to anyone going to Belgium. To quote the movie, “It’s a fairy-tale fucking town, isn’t it?”

After our hour train back, we decided to have a convenient dinner at the hotel restaurant, we’d spied a beef wellington on their menu the first day. We had some pre-dinner cocktails, best cocktails Elizabeth has had on this trip, then split the wellington with a side of fries. We like fancy things and staying in fancy places, but mostly we like French fries.

Day 4 – Brussels to the Hague – October 29

Since we’d splurged our Marriott points and wouldn’t be back in a nice hotel for a while, we decided to take the morning easy and utilize the late checkout. We worked out and lounged in a very comfortable bed. Finally, around 1:30, we packed up and headed back into Brussels to grab some lunch before our 2:50 train to the Hague. We obviously wanted more French fries smothered in sauce, so decided to try a new place. The line was long, but we stuck it out and when we got to the front, they informed us they couldn’t make over 75% of their menu.  Not cool.  So, we went back to Frites, our first French fry experience, where the line was long but moved fast. Today we tried the “hamburger” which we think were actually pork patties with lettuce, grilled onions, fries and spicy sauce, and a side of French fries with different sauce. It was again a fat kid’s dream and our faces were covered in the sauce.

We walked to the Brussels Central Station and easily found our train. It was a slow 2.5 hours to The Hague, but we didn’t have to change trains and didn’t have to pay much attention to the travel. Once we arrived, it took us a bit to figure out their public transportation, but were soon on a tram towards our Airbnb. We are staying in a family’s attic and they are redoing their kitchen floor. The room and house are very nice. We have a friend, Nate, that Elizabeth knows from South Carolina who works for Shell and is in town for a work trip. We hopped back on the tram towards downtown to meet him and some of his coworkers at a Vietnamese restaurant called Little V. The food was delicious and we shared the basil beef and rice. We next went to a bar called Hoender en Hop to catch up, chat, and be harassed by a crazy old man who claimed he was being stalked by the KGB and needed us to call a number for him and swear we didn’t work for the police.  After finishing a few rounds, the boys had to go home and get ready for another day of work.  We promised to meet up for rock climbing tomorrow. Luckily, we were out past midnight so we could buy the one-day tram card and use it all tomorrow while we are sightseeing.

Day 5 – the Hague – October 30

The next morning, we took our time getting up, dreading the cold weather. We used our passes from the night before and got on the tram back into downtown to find some more Asian food. We ate lunch at a Chinese Dim Sum restaurant called Full Moon City. It didn’t taste anything like American Chinese food, which meant Ryan loved it, and Elizabeth didn’t. We ate some shrimp wontons, shrimp and pork buns, and pepper beef. To complete the authentic experience, the dining area was full of Chinese people and the old couple next to us were munching on boiled chicken feet.

After being grossed out we walked around town in what felt like freezing winter in our fall weather clothes. We stopped in a few stores to browse sweaters, but stayed strong, we are headed to warmer climes in less than a week. We walked along the outside and through the gates of the parliament building, which was just gorgeous beautiful and looks out over a small pond. The Hague is a extremely international city and is home to the UN court of justice.

We stopped into a café called Filtro to spend a few hours eating cakes and deliciously brewed coffee.  They have their own weird way of brewing it, which involves a strange bulbous pot and a square extraction mechanism.  We never actually saw the process in action.  All of the students sitting around us were speaking English with various accents, so it was fun to eavesdrop on their college issues. Full of caffeine, we walked up to the royal palace, which was slightly underwhelming, then across town to a rock gym called Klimmuur Den Haag.  We got there around 5 pm not realizing our friend Nate wouldn’t make it until 7. Needless to say, we got a long workout in both top roping and bouldering for 4 hours. After climbing, it was challenging to find a place still closing dinner, since it was a Wednesday at 10 pm. Eventually, we found a place called Bar and Restaurant Milú with 5-euro cocktails and a kitchen that would sell us some finger food. Our waitress was friendly and very, very, very chatty. We thought she was going to pull up a chair and join us indefinitely. After a few cocktails we set out to meet some of Nate’s friends in a different bar. Along the way we found a McDonalds and shared a Big Mac with fries and made it to the bar just in time for one last beer before closing. We said good-bye and hopped on the tram back to our AirBnb.

Day 6 – the Hague to Eindhoven – October 31

Our Airbnb was redoing their kitchen floors and we were awoken around 8:30 to the sound of sanding and cutting wood. We packed up and headed for the train station to catch the one-and-a-half-hour train at 11:23 to Eindhoven. Our friend Angela, who used to live in Houston but is marrying a Dutch man named Tobias, had graciously invited us to spend time in their new home. We arrived in the town around 12:45 and caught the bus to their house. They were both still working so we did what any sensible adult would do, and took a nap.

Around 5 pm we all piled in the car and headed to the grocery store to get some dinner and snack supplies. Tobias made a great Bolognese spaghetti sauce and we got tons of snacks like Doritos and candy. In the Netherlands they sell candy in the shape of different letters to celebrate SinterKlaas, Santa Clause, which takes place on December 6th. The stories are similar except for a few minor differences: instead of stockings, you put out your shoes, if you are bad instead of coal you get a bundle of sticks, and if you’re really bad Sinterklaas takes you back to Spain. Kids put out a carrot for his horse and cookies and beer for Sinterklaas. We got a couple letters to try the different chocolate flavors.

That night we ate dinner and drank some beer and wine while playing board games. Elizabeth’s favorite game is called Regen Wormen and involves rolling dice and stealing tiles with different numbers of worms on them. Tobias and Angela are devoted to games, so we are excited to spend the next few days in competitive mode.

Day 7 – Eindhoven – November 1

The next morning, we hung out around the house, since both Angela and Tobias were working. The weather forecast predicted it to be pretty rainy and crappy all weekend, unfortunately. In the early afternoon we walked through the forest of changing leaves to get to a rock gym less than 15 minutes from their house. We spent about 3 hours climbing, fighting through the soreness from our workout just two days prior.

Angela and Tobias got a note from their neighborhood that kids would begin trick-or-treating at 6:30. Angela was excited for more American traditions making their way across the ocean, even if it was a scheduled day late. To decorate the house, we colored some print out witches, cats, ghouls etc. to hang up and awaited the arrival of children.  Tobias and Angela bought tons of candy. We were quizzing Tobias on how to say things to the kids in Dutch and learned that words like Trick-or-Treat, costume, and cool are the same as in English.  The kids were dressed up and rang the bell and Angela handed out huge handfuls of candy, trying to establish best house dominance.  We played drinking games and sampled several types of beer before calling it a night.

Day 8 – Eindhoven – November 2

The next morning, we lounged around again and ate breakfast at the house. We learned that the Dutch love sandwiches and commonly eat them for breakfast.  We also ate what seemed like a fancy corndog, basically a sausage wrapped in a soft dough called Saucijzenbroodje. The forecast looked clear for a few hours in the afternoon, so we piled into the car and headed for the city center.  It was pretty crowded, presumably since the weather was semi-decent and it was a Saturday.  We walked along the shops and restaurants then stopped in their big cathedral called Saint Catherine’s Church.  Inside, the choir was rehearsing, so we walked around the interior investigating their collection of relics found during church construction and reconstruction, including various bones and the twisted spine of a hunchback. There were also pictures of the church in ruins after it was bombed during WW2.

In our Google preparations we noticed that there was a Taco Bell in Eindhoven, so obviously we had to go. This was the fanciest T-Bell we’d ever been in and seemed like the place where the hip young crowd hung out. They didn’t have cheesy gordita crunches, but we got crunchwrap supremes and a fajita quesadilla. Ryan even got a Mountain Dew! The crunch wrap was delicious, insider secret, they put the hot or mild sauce inside, but the quesadilla had too many vegetables and not enough cheese. Overall, we didn’t feel 100% after eating, so you know it was legit.

We wandered a little more downtown passing the bar district, art museum and city hall. We stopped for a beer at the square sitting on the outside patios under heaters. On the way home we stopped by the grocery store to get supplies for Ryan to roast chicken and vegetables.  They had something called a black chicken. We spent the night drinking wine and playing more board games.

Day 9 – Eindhoven – November 3

For breakfast Angela took us to get traditional Dutch pancakes at De Proeftuin the Pannenkoekenrestaurant (pancake restaurant). The restaurant is located out of town and has it’s own orchard on the grounds. We ordered a savory and a sweet pancake. The savory had bacon, mushrooms, leeks, onions, and bell pepper with cheese. The sweet one was thinly sliced apples and warm cherries, which we of course added syrup to. They were absolutely delicious and thinner than our fluffy american pancakes, but thicker than a crepe. After lunch, we spent our afternoon and evening playing more games and watching the Grand Prix. We ended the night by ordering “Chinese” food.  We ordered the mixed platter for 2 and got enough food for the 4 of us to eat with leftovers.   

Day 10 – Eindhoven to Amsterdam – November 4

We spent the morning alone at their house finishing up laundry and planning for our upcoming trips before finally boarding the 1-hour train to Amsterdam. Ryan found us a cool hotel called Easy Hotel near the soccer stadium a little outside of the city center. The hotel check-in was straightforward and almost completely automated. We noticed a movie theater across the street and decided to see Joker and enjoy probably our last opportunity to see an English-speaking movie for a while. It ended up being an ordeal to pay for our tickets, this country doesn’t like credit cards, and eventually headed to the snack area. It was so efficient, there were aisles of fresh popped popcorn (both original and kettle), beer and candy like a grocery store that you carry to the cashier. In the theater we shared a little love seat. The movie was just okay, but it was a nice experience nonetheless.

Day 11 – Amsterdam – November 5

The next morning, we piled onto the train to go to the Food Hallen, basically a bunch of mini-restaurants crammed into a courtyard, for lunch. According to Google it opened at 11, but most of the stalls didn’t open until 12. We had about 30 minutes to sip a beer and consider all our options, and there were a lot. We shared Belgian fries, a pita full of delicious chicken shawarma, and a Vietnamese bánh mì, a street sandwich with pork belly. It was hard to drag ourselves away and not just eat all day.

Next, we went to the Anne Frank House. The lines were huge and we didn’t intend to go it, but it wasn’t clear which house was hers. The ticket office and corner building were all redone, but hey we found the area where she was forced to hide out.  Next, we enjoyed wandering for a few hours through the city center, past the palace, and numerous picturesque canal streets. We walked down the red-light district, but on a Tuesday afternoon it wasn’t too lively.

We found a bar called Beer Temple and settled into a bench in the back. They had a whole corner of games and Ryan found a family favorite from his childhood called Mastermind and Elizabeth found Rummikub. We spent a few hours sipping beers and playing games. Next, we hopped back on the train and went back to our hotel area to find some dinner. We settled on a Japanese restaurant next door. We sat at the bar and drank sake and plum wine with tempura and sushi. Exhausted from a day of walking, we headed back to the hotel.

Day 12 – Amsterdam – November 6

We packed up our bags and caught the train to the airport. After checking our bags, we made it through security and immigration. We are only allowed to be in the Schengen Area for 90 of 180 days. We left on our 90th day. The immigration officer looked at our passports and asked how long we’d been here. I told him we were on our 90th day and you could see in his face he debated about running our numbers and double checking. Luckily for time’s sake he stamped us and we were through. We found the AMEX lounge and enjoyed a few Heinekens and lunch snacks before we boarded our 4.5-hour flight to Tel Aviv, Israel. We loved getting to spend so much time in Europe, but we are ready to leave and start exploring more foreign cultures.

Things we’ve learned in Belgium and the Netherlands:

  1. Everywhere smells like weed all the time.
  2. Canals make any city more beautiful.
  3. Belgians really do make the best chocolate and their French fries are really good too.